Hai, I know it's been a while since I've written something like this, and it's still early in the morning, so I'm trying to jog down my thoughts before I procrastinate. I just want to say that I love you guys. ( not just you, I love this gc with my heart for real. ) We may not talk as much as we used to before, and I can understand why, but whenever we do, it makes me feel like life may not be so bad after all..it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders without even realizing. It's been 5 years since we first met ( 13 years for zook specifically ), and I'm genuinely grateful for the friends I have that watch my back. It still surprises me at times how we still together, despite whatever bullshit we went through in the past and present, holy shit was it insane?? Anyway, that's besides the point.

I'm here to say thank you - for everything, really. For being there for me when things get rough, for the fun times, for the stupid jokes/rants to make me feel better, fucking dumbasses bro I love yall. Thank you for also giving me space when I ask for it, it means a lot. Thank you for still bearing with me and dealing with my bs even when I'm being a total asshole, too. </3 Guys pleasee keep yapping in that gc, I may not respond but I'm always lurking in the shadows to listen LMFSO

I also want to apologize - for being more distant than usual and not talk as much. There's so much that I gotta say to you both specifically but I'm too much of a fucking coward to even talk about it. I'm sorry for being a bitch and causing drama for no apparent reason. ( yeah, this is about that one joke, I still feel self-conscious about it. ) It's nothing to do with you guys, I promise, but I don't even know how to manage my emotions without acting like a smartass and pissing people off. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so mental, maybe then the group wouldn't be this unstable. Maybe then none of us would feel the way we do. I'm sorry for not being there enough for you guys when you need someone to listen - I admit, it's a shitty thing that I do by avoiding people's vulnerability, and I wish that I could stop. I wish I could be as trustworthy as I was when I was 12. ;-; I'm trying my best to kill off that habit, I don't wanna be a complete dick to you guys for the rest of my life. I still care about you all. even with my avoidant bs, and it confuses me, because I don't know how these two can be true and exist at the same time. But they do!!!!! Like it or not! Tsk!
Zook I hope your grandparents shut the fuck up Also wanna hang out and and and and and play persona 4 at my crib and talk about yaoi and
Rainy bro I hope you feel better, I've been stalking the chat for a while and let me tell you there aint a single person in that gc that hates you </3
you're well loved, cherished and appreciated by us all in our own little dumb ways trust me
Anyway I hope your mom shuts the fuck up too
Take a break my guy
Take care of yourself!!!!!!!!! Reminder!!!! It's okay to open up!!!!!!!!!! It's okay to show vulnerability, this is a genuine human thing! You have every right to show emotion!!!!!!!!!! No matter how ugly and bitter it is!

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Pub: 08 Jul 2025 05:44 UTC

Edit: 30 Jul 2025 09:19 UTC

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