❝ So please look at me, baby, please, ❞
come to me, look at me, baby.

My names are Scythe, Kosa, Kara or Eros. I am 17 years of age and AntiHara, because I have better things to do than police others over what they do with fiction. I'm about to be an adult, after all.

This Rentry will be a little different from what I usually do, for it will be an analysis page of Zenya Okinaga, my favorite character from N+C visual novels and my husband. It will include some of my theories.


As something worth mentioning, my opinion is definitely 100% biased because I am a ZenYouji shipper, but my first theory would be that Zenya was in love with Youji. Why, you may ask? The drama tracks, most likely. The two songs, both from FRAGMENT and from everblue tracks. Let me quote them at the end, along with sources.

To add onto this, at some point in the game, we see Zenya approaching Youji a few times, whether it be the can scene, the locker scene (which later leads to Zenya's ending), the scene before Zenya kidnaps Youji and Tetsuo and everything else. I want to point out a few things in those scenes that would back up my thesis.

Zenya is definitely possessive of Youji, as seen in the quotes provided below. He seems to like him enough to be possessive of him, yet he also hates him for he is the perfect "Female", in sweet pool terms. As stated by the game itself, Zenya is a "flawed Male/host", due to the fact that Kunihito had fed the parasite to Zenya, forcing the process upon him, therefore making him a half-host. That is most of the reason why Zenya despises Kunihito and (partially) Youji. Youji is the perfect "Female", something Zenya could never have, despite Zenya never wanting to be a host. He never wanted to have a rotting body because of his father's stupid delusional thinking. He was forced into the cult, as he had said himself upon killing his own biological father.

Zenya was manipulated by his father. I believe he really did love Youji - he just never really knew how to express it.

Next thing I would like to address is the way he views Kitani. In my honest, most humble opinion, Kitani is like a father to Zenya. I don't like the ship, but I obviously don't harass others over it. I view them as familial, especially because I love Zenya so much. #ZenYoujiKindateWhen? (:sob:). He takes care of Zenya like he is his son, and Zenya treats him like the dad he never had (due to his actual father being into the cult and probably not taking care of him). He was never taught how to show affection, other than semi-romantically (hence the kiss scene before Kitani passed out).

Another thing: the drama track(s). The drama track of Zenya's, where his ending is further expanded upon, shows that Zenya is not actually happy that he is taking advantage of Youji. I feel as if he's unhappy because he is playing into his father's wishes, which were forced upon him from the very moment he was born. It's heartbreaking to me. It is shown that he was looked down upon by everyone, in his own words, because of something he didn't even want.

The song(s), namely Killing Look, could be about both Zenya's POV and Youji's POV in the Zenya ending (VLG), since Killing Look is from a drama track album of ending extensions. A few verses of Killing Look definitely portray Youji's point of view, namely ones that I will mark below with ♥ (Youji) and ♡ (Zenya).


  • I'm useless without you......
    I need you here by my side.
    ➥ VLG - Kazuhiro Watanabe
  • The existence that is Youji, who had appeared in front of the worthless me.
    I absolutely wanted you, is what I thought. I wanted to get my hands on you, whatever it took; wanted you to see nothing other than me. I wanted to rely on Youji, to be relied on by Youji, to be accepted by Youji, for Youji to know everything about me…Everything, everything… There was nothing for me but Youji, but… look at me. I’m begging so… look at me. If I don’t have Youji, I… I… any more…
    ➥ 5th Anniversary Monologue
  • "You got a lotta nerve... and so does he!" That guy... That nobody arguing with Youji in the hall...
    What was someone like him doing with Youji?
    ➥ Sweet Pool, the bathroom scene with Zenya
  • I have been here forever
    I’m boxed in loneliness
    I waited in the darkness
    Until there was a light coming in
    ➥ Killing Look - Kazuhiro Watanabe (♥)
  • So please look at me baby
    Please come to me, look at me baby
    I’m afraid of feeling empty
    So please look at me
    I’m always here
    My mood is getting worse
    If I’m left alone, I’m trembling
    There’s no meaning to it
    In my honest opinion, the chorus as a whole is about Zenya.
    ➥ Killing Look - Kazuhiro Watanabe (♡)
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Pub: 04 Jan 2023 20:29 UTC

Edit: 02 May 2026 12:59 UTC

Views: 2791