Hello, I just acknowledged the rentry on /rentrylore so I'd like to explain some things first, and Yes, you may respond to this to anyone who's apart of /rentrylore, I am not gonna back down and Instead i'm gonna be fully blunt and explain myself.
So no, I didn't call my grooming trauma I had with that person an excuse, I never said It was nor should it be downplayed to be called an excuse, the reason I brought that up when I was addressing stuff was because they were the reason why I was like this, Believe me or not I was actually a half-decent person until my abuser came and shaped my personality and thinking, I will not give names because they wanted to leave on neutral terms. ^_^
And the rape threats, jokes, Yes, they were real, I'm not saying they weren't fake /gen I was talking about something else where there was another callout doc on me to make me look like a zionist which I'm not and the person who made it was a 19 year old pedophile named val, I was never talking about that, I just added that in my rentries because I wanted to clarify. I know I've already apologized but knowing that rape is a serious topic and shouldn't be something to make threats/joke about I'm sending one again,
I'm sorry for the rape threats, jokes, I didn't realize the impact it had on anybody because well, I was extremely influenced by someone who would make rape headcanons/rape jokes and was In a GC where stuff like that was normalized and nobody had a problem, I do apologize for the rape threats because It was out of my control and I genuinely don't know myself why I made those threats, But please know this I am becoming better, I know I've said this alot of times but this time I genuinely mean it, I'm not joking because I saw a genuine improvement when I self isolated myself from discord, and every type social media. It was hard to leave discord but I'm just semi-active on it, I know I am a bad person and the threats I made I will never wish that on anyone even on my worst enemy, those jokes I made was because I thought It would be cool to do because My friend of 2 years would make them alot, So, I'm sorry again, It's up to the people I've made the threats to to forgive me, Those rape threats I made them unconsciously /srs I didn't know what I was thinking when I made those jokes seriously, I don't have to be forgiven and I understand why I'm not especially because they're rape threats, I'm not asking for forgiveness because I don't deserve forgiveness especially after what I've put people through, I'm healing to become a better person genuinely, Mandy If you're seeing this, I know I'm always the one breaking the neutral terms, and I understand, I'm sorry for what I've put you and your friends through, I was literally just not a good person at the time and I did this because my way to cope was to hurt other people because It made me feel better about myself of the fact that other people made me feel the same trauma, I know this is an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism because this can traumatize somebody, I'm aware of the damage I've done to multiple people and I'm genuinely sorry for everything I've done seriously, I don't know what It takes to be forgiven but I'm doing anything to prove I'm genuinely sorry because that's what I am, I'm trying everything to not have a fucked up brain and do shit impulsively over and over and think it didn't have consequences, I've hurted multiple people and thought It was Okay, Again, I don't want forgiveness, I just want people to know that I'm genuinely sorry for everything I've done. Thank you for reading.
And about me being banned in 50+ dandys world servers, I don't know what to say because I know It was deserved, but I did not send death threats to 30+ dandys world servers I don't know where that came from but I didn't /srs, I will admit I was a bit angry over non-issues at the time, I was an unstable person and I never thought on what I said before, I wasn't a nice person but I'm trying to become one now.