Reposting his guide.
Okay, n00bs. NotSage& will share proper protocol when taking a zombie slave, /zom/.
When approaching, one must remember that, merely because you GAG HER does not mean she cannot scratch or do other nasty things. Therefore, I shall diverge...
One: The Romero Zombie
While these girls are prime, easy targets, they are typically more rotted than not. Regardless, they are slow, stiff-limbed, and perfect toys for masturbation. When approaching from behind, their severe lack of coordination becomes painfully apparent.
This, you will rely on. Stay behind her, presuming the 'other' zombies that are likely around have been neutralized. The ideal weapon of choice would be one of those long poles with the retractable loop that dog-catchers use(She is going to be your bitch, after all), but lacking one of those, a simple bathroom towel will do. Sling it around her neck, and trip her legs out from under her; immediately crouch, with your knee firmly set to her back and the towel's ends held in two hands. Switch grasp of both ends to one hand. You will now use a ball-gag or, as shown in DotD remake, a leather belt, to make her mouth ineffectual. Again, a belt will also be useful for securing her wrists behind her back, if handcuffs are unavailable. She will now be thoroughly harmless, although it is suggested that you fetch a collar and leash(Again, the dog-catcher's pole is prefered) to tote her about town as your personal pet.
Two: The 'Rager'/'Runner' Zombies
(Note that I mean the quick fucks, not necessarily virus-only. Since they are so similar, they will be covered together.)
These girls are tough. They're definitely a stupid move by most men to take them, but we're not most men, are we? When approaching, one must be especially careful to remain silent in contrast to the above zombies. Sneaking is your friend, if she is alone. If not, blow out the brains of her friends and merely shoot her legs off.
Presuming she IS alone though, you have a few options once you've snuck up close enough. You can risk grappling-- not a very wise move, given their seemingly enhanced strength. But I personally would use the dog-catching device mentioned above again. Attempting this by yourself is extremely risky, if not stupid-- thus, grab a few of these handy lil' toys and a handful of trustworthy friends.
Another method would be waiting for her to near a building; the benefits of lowering a hangman's noose(Again, with multiple allies) and pulling her up by that are much more noticable; greater distance, less chance of being bitten. But, in the process, you risk being pulled down yourself, thus the multiple people necessary, or crane, or line secured to a Chevy truck so you can tow that bitch up easily.. be creative, and be with some allies if you want one of THESE girls. Pick a winner.
Three: Containing your Zombitch
Setting aside a prison cell isn't a commodity we all have the benefit of. I'll begin with Romero's.
These girls will be easy to keep. Once you've got your girl firmly pinned beneath you, you may rise up, keeping hold of that towel wrapped around her neck AND her wrists; escort her into a room or closet set apart from your living quarters, and set a burlap bag over her head. To be doubly sure, you may secure another belt around her ankles. With a little creativity, you could probably even fashion a harness for your new little pet. Be sure to somehow lock the room or closet door, just in case, and mark it!! For God's sake, mark the door as the holding chambers.
Your standard Rager, however, won't be so easy to store. These girls are crazy bitches. Your best hope for casual usage from them are coming from chains and shackles, bindings and heavy restrictions. Hell, bolt her down to the ground to be sure she won't get loose.
The door for this room would ideally be a heavy wooden one. A barricade would be fairly useless, so let's go with one of my old favorites; a moat! Don't misjudge these wonderful defenses. In fact, if you create a large hole just outside the doorway, you might not even NEED a door.
Diagram:
|Ideally, you are: Here.
v
Safe X|| <<---Guard rail
------// |<- o_||Doorway - Room
Can't | | / ^
Get | Pitfall | / Hawt zombitch
You-->|0_____v_/
Of course, this is just for the possibility of escape. You'll want a retractable rope ladder to get up and down. This will also work for Romero's, although stowing THEM in the basement is a far less time consuming endeavor.
((Bleh. Diagram's screwed. Basically, put a slope descending from the doorway down until they can't reach or jump at you from down there. Set up a guard rail, and caution signs.))
!!!NSFW!!!
Four: Enjoying your Zombie
Necrophilia is awwright.~ NEVER forget this, and never assume guilt. Your Romero girl and Rager should both provide nice, cool undead flesh for you, the former more 'willingly.'
I highly suggest vaginal and anal intercourse only, unless you follow my guidelines exactly.
Useage: Vaginal and Anal
You DON'T want a free zombitch breaking loose. Ideally, you will knock your Romero girl back onto her front, her pretty lil' face slamming into the ground, as you mount her from behind. Keep your hands on her waist to prevent her from sliding flat, as she is likely to otherwise. Enjoy her cold flesh and startlingly chilly(But thoroughly arousing), wet passage. Immediately after, I suggest sticking it in her pooper(As lubrication will be hard to come by). Enjoy, and once satisfied, let her slide flat out. Knee on her back. Guide her back to her closet/storage area.
Given the Rager zombie, I would incorporate a sawhorse. The easiest, ready-to-go way would be hanging her over it. Chains aren't good for this; handcuffs are. You'll want four ideally, but two will do. Take the first set, and, securing one to her left wrist, attach the next to her right ankle. Right wrist to left ankle. Right wrist to right ankle. Left wrist to left ankle. She should roughly be in this position. (See: n)
The Rager may provide a warmth to her cunt, but upon feeling that, you may already be infected by a virus; if it's cold, it's probably safe to say she's a runner instead. Either way, a condom is wise in any situation. Double wrap that shit.
Oral Useage:
While most would shrink from this facet of intercourse, I do not. It is incredibly easy for a Romero, and perhaps a Rager too, if you can get her in the 'n' position(Doubled over, helpless)
Now, you're going to want to have your Romero girl flat on her stomach, atop a raised platform(Fixed: **Atop a bed). Grasp her hair firmly-- really grab a clump of that shit-- and hold on tight. Release her mouth's bondings. Everything around her mouth. This is going to be simple.
Slam your knee into the side of her lower jaw. Don't hold back-- you WANT to hear a loud snap, crack, or pop. You may alternatively do it from beneath, but that runs the risk of getting bit, given her likely opened mouth at this point. Once her jaw is dislocated, you may proceed to knee it again, for good measure. She won't be able to bite down now, and she'll be able to move her tongue. Proceed to stick your cock down her throat, and enjoy it. Alternatively, you may swing at her lower jaw with a baseball bat/other bludgeon, but I advise against it; you might miss, hit her head, and have a re-deadened zombie girl who is completely useless and defeats her purpose.
Rager would be similar, but I really suggest a two-man combo. One with a belt around her face, pulling it back and exposing the jaw, neck, and throat; the other with said baseball bat. Hell, a gun may even work, but again, I advise against it; you may attract other zombies you don't want. Enjoy your zombie bitches.
"What are your feelings on ring/O-gags? They could provide a fairly safe oral experience without breaking anything."
I'd have to advise against. Not that they're not a nice commodity and all, but really, I doubt one could very well get it on. If you have it, great, but if you try to just come up behind her, slap it on, then say "Lol ur my slut now" you're destined to fail.. who the Hell's going to raid a naughty toy store for that, anyways?
Part 2
NotSage&'s Guide to Zombie Sexxin's: Domination, Damnation, & All Things in Between
For Anonymous, with love~
There may be a rising confusion about the populace of your headquarters, and even a panic, should your lovely little zombie bitch startle someone or groan too loudly. While the traditional remedy for noisy bitches is to send her back to the kitchen, there IS no such cure for her. Herein, we shall learn how to edumacate your zombie some proper manners, and maybe even learn her a book.
Chapter One: Silence..!
As with any good woman, you're going to want her to shut the fuck up and quit yappin'(Or groaning in this case) when you're not screwing her senseless. To this end, there are a myriad of possibilities; anything from stuffing her mouth full of soiled rags, to surgically removing her vocal chords.
I myself, however, prefer to have as much leather in my kinky sexplays as I can. Therefore, a good, strong belt is the clear choice; fetch that rag we were talking about earlier, and wrap it around the top of a stick. 6"-8" should do.
Lovingly jam it down her throat, and once enough is secure as to make most women choke to death, and strap that belt on her mouth to make sure the rag doesn't get out. This may seem useless, but I assure you-- if she can learn as we will try to teach her, you do not want to leave it easily removable. There's no telling how much else you've done half-ass that she could get past to kill you.
This is a fix for most people who merely wish to enjoy the anal and vaginal components of ownership, along with the high fashion of having a zombie pet that DOESN'T groan stupidly in the middle of your favorite movies.
Chapter Two: Training Your Bitch
Now, on to the fun part, now that we know the alternative if you have an unruly pet(The alternative other than taking it behind the shed and shooting it).
Training your bitch is a surprisingly simple affair, both in life and death. The key, in this method, is gentleness and subtlety, with a punishing hand in the right cases. Firstly, you will want to assert dominance over her; sex will have given you a reasonably good amount of control, though she may not acknowledge it. Dominance mounting may not work on some animals.
In which case, you will want to spend a lot of time with her. Wear thick gloves, a thick sweater.. anything you can that will allow you protection against bites, scratches, and nasty things. I recommend leather.
Treat her as a pet, not a sex slave-- not to say that she shouldn't be chained to the wall safely, but remove the restraints from her mouth. Given whether it looks like she has a good pair of chompers or not, you may want to put on a second pair of gloves. Remember to keep nearby an item of discipline; be it a riding crop or a beatstick, or something so simple as a ruler-- keep it near for this segment. (Metal ruler used for simplicity)
Reach for your pet, and show affection through your touch; stroke her hair, her face, but little else(If you do this properly, most 'else' should be wrapped in chains anyways) and observe her reaction.
A). She is angry, violent. Break out the ruler and slap her face/head with the flat side sharply. This is why metal comes in handy. It should be bright, maybe a yellow or green color, so she can recognize it. Do not pay any further attention to her for the day.
Should this be a habitual problem, strike her harder; eventually, move up from a ruler to a cut piece of hose filled with wet dirt. If you grew up with these, you know they are painful instruments of torment for kiddies, and they'll work just as well on your bitch.
B). She stares blankly ahead, no reaction. In this case, continue the light affection, but DO NOT try to hug your pet or take it as a good sign. She'll likely instinctively bite at your face.
C). She groans, is responsive. If she looks at you, it's an even better sign; do not lose your cool in those strange, dead eyes' gaze. You are the dominant one in this relationship. Continue stroking her hair, but do NOT pet her. 'Petting' can be associated with the ruler's slap, and we don't want the lines between reward and punishment blurred unwittingly.
Eventually, through positive reinforcement and punishments, she will become more 'tame,' but you must never forget that she is a wild animal and cannot be trusted, even moreso than a regular pet. Always keep at least ONE layer of protection on at all times, two if applicable, when dealing with your pet. You must be with her daily, set aside some 'play time.'
Chapter Three: Feeding
Now, as I've seen some masters and mistresses mistake this, I will cover it. Many think that feeding a pet is a privilege, that the animal should be grateful; this is a lie. You have ownership, and the responsibility to provide for her, since you don't want her to go out and kill things for herself.
Feeding happens regularly. Once in the morn, once in the eve. Ideally, you will be the one to do it; designate a 'feeding' area for her, a specific corner of the room, or the center of it.
A hunk of raw meat, carrion or no, shall suffice. You may wish to give your girl the slaughtered entrails and bits of the cow that your headquarters can't use; say, the inedible organs, etc. This MAY mean digging through the trash for your girl, but for God's sake, don't give her anything with maggots in it.
As with any pet, they will begin to see you as the source of food, rather than food yourself. Be wary, for with zombies and some dangerous other creatures, this is a very vague line. Do not bother her while she is eating. You may watch if you like.
Chapter Four: Showing Off
Now, this is one of the most rewarding aspects of zombie-raising. While there will be fearful from some and condemning words from others, there WILL be those that realize the power such a creature holds. That's what it's about, right? They're afraid of her power, her ability to reduce them to just another one of her?
While this is well and good, it doesn't quite stir up enough of a ruckus for my tastes, and it shouldn't for you either. You'll never wear a belt again-- it'll always be fastened around her mouth. Hell, if you can find a Human muzzle, like, oh, say Hannibal Lecter's, then great-- that'll make it even better appearance-wise.
Now, the biggest issue you can find is.. what goes well with brown/black/whatever color your belt is? Personally, BDSM garb, thongs, corsets.. these things go well with anything. Guess what you'll be putting on your girl?
Step One: Free your zombie bitch. For the lulz, you may want to put boxing gloves or some other pair of gloves on her hands to prevent scratches before doing this. If you listened earlier, the belt should still be forbidding her mouth from biting.
Step Two: Undress her. Since she won't be wearing those rags you found her in anymore, feel free to use a knife and cut them away. Erections are perfectly healthy at this stage.
Step Three: Getting her thong on. This is fairly simple. Position her near a wall, on the side opposite you. Crouch down, and, lifting up one of her legs, slip it around her ankle. Do the same for the next one, though you may not need to reposition her. Hook your fingers on either side of her hips, and pull her new garment up. Congratulations, you've got a zombie bitch in a thong! You may wish to carefully shave her pubic hair. It shouldn't grow back once you do.
Step Four: A corset too. I prefer these for the smexiness factor, and the straightened posture; they are simple enough. Unlace it, wrap it around her torso, from just above the hips/over the stomach, to her breasts/under them, depending on what kind you have. Start stringing her back up. There may be grunts and groans, but since she's ALWAYS stiff-moving anyways, it won't make much of a difference.
Step Five: Collar and leash it. You will need this, you don't want to have to terminate her if she shambles away, or tackle her if you can't otherwise stop her-- it just looks bad, and reflects poorly on your skills as a trainer.
Chapter Five: One Big Happy Family
We are nearing where we must once again part, my friend, but with any luck, my guides have given you the ability to surround yourself with a harem of comely undead flesh. You may use the methods detailed in my original and sequel together for epic lulz. Especially 'zombie fishing,' as it has been affectionately dubbed-- using a team of men and a noose off the side of a building to pull in one of your favorites. Rinse, repeat, and you may become a pimp daddy, opening your very own brothel with your girls.
Or you can be greedy like me, keep them locked in a dungeon until they're 'tame,' fucking them all the way. And always remember, friends-- DOUBLE WRAP THAT SHIT!
((Disclaimer: Being a 'pimp daddy' does not mean you should backhand your bitch. Use a club.
((Disclaimer Two: Owning a harem will make you want to have catfights between your bitches; please do so and allow me a seat of honor beside yours to watch.
((Disclaimer to Disclaimer Two: I do not accept responsibility for missing limbs, organs, or wear and tear on them.
Part 3
NotSage&'s Guide to Zombie Sexin's((FOR FEMALES OMFG THER R NO WIMMENZ ON T3H INTERBUTT LOLOL!!1))
Chapter One: Birth Control
It is any woman's nightmare to wake up the morning after, take the test, and find out that you are indeed pregnant. What a jerk, to have left a gallon of his cum in you AND to have left before you even woke up, huh?
Well, that is why the zombie apocalypse is convenient for us. While I have NO idea why a woman wouldn't be valued during such an event for sex(As always), I CAN provide a meager guide to how to get by without ever once engaging in masturbation.
Chapter Two: The One Mom Told You About
During the event of a zombie apocalypse, you, a woman, are free from every judgement known to man. Nobody gives a damn what you do-- unless you're being a stupid white bitch, like in every zombie movie you show up in.
Given this newfound freedom of choice, you may size up your quarry; just what is it you want as a pet and sextoy? Perhaps that punk rocker down at the mall, or the Emo dude who you always thought was cute in life-- but talked too damn much. Whatever you choose, you can giggle and titter as you live out BDSM fantasies with it. Remember: Double-wrapping that shit applies to zombies too.
Whatever you choose, make sure you correctly wrangle yourself a stud. He may be your only sex toy for a looooooong time, so you want HIM to be long too.. 'cause he sure as Hell isn't going to be doing much for quality over quantity.
Lame jokes aside, you'll want to use the Noose Technique shown in previous guides; lowering a hangman's noose down along with a team of your friends. Getting that rope around HIS neck may be a lil' difficult, but you can do it with some effort. Drag that motherfucker up.
Chapter Three: Proper Restraints
As much as you'd love to live on the wild side and let him loose to fuck you raw.. well, apparently they aren't inclined to do that for you, sir/miss. You will need some sort of protection.
As least, you must have a muzzle and some sort of gloves on his hands; boxing gloves are win, and awesome for this task(No fingers, no nails, no nothing.) So yes, you can have a male slave.
You may want to 'top' him, simply because while he doesn't have the initiative to start raping you, he MIGHT be able to get that muzzle off and bite you. So, you're on top.
A much worse threat to your sanity, however, is picking a mate that is too rotten; should you get him to erection and begin riding him, having his penis break off inside of either of your orifaces can be a scarring and traumatic experience, along with getting it out.
Chapter Four: Down To The Nitty-Gritty
It's been months without sex. That loud moaning and soft thudding at the door is so suggestive to your promiscuous mind.. but for all the men literally thumping at your door, trying to get at you, there's not a drop of cum to be had.
Or is there?
If you are a clever woman, you will find any one of various ways to let a SINGLE zombie in-- one you want. Particularly, and preferably, a lively one. Restrain him, chain him down, and strip away his clothes.
With any luck, most of him will still be in good shape. Angry groans and hungry glares will begin to arouse you in time, will begin to herald the only relief you'll be able to glean from the inhospitable world.
Once he is secure, firmly grasp his member; begin stroking. Don't worry about being gentle, or hurting him; he won't feel it. And if he does.. thump.. thump.. there's plenty more zombies at the door.
Once you've managed to arouse your partner, it will be time to straddle him; you will want to be on top, no matter how submissive you may be. He won't order you back to the kitchen. It's your turn to dominate.
Ride him to your heart's content-- really, he should stay hard long enough-- and with any luck, his blood will coagulate in his cock a few minutes after it erects, giving him a permanent hard-on.
Chapter Five: Afterthoughts
Remember, kiddies; as I always suggest, whether you're female, male, or gay.. ALWAYS double wrap that shit! There is nothing worse than being the catalyst for a new STD. NotSage& sez safe sex, even if it is technically necrophilia!
And a fun tidbit.
"Scenario
You go on a one-man fishing trip, a few miles outside of your small podunk town and spot this beauty sitting before the river. Her speech is slurred and she's making long moaning noises, and she approaches you slowly with arms outstretched. She appears to be unhurt and you have not heard any reports of anything suspicious.
First zombie of your personal apocalypse, or dirty slut? How paranoid are you? How uncool?
Post your decision."
NotSage&
Run up and knock her on her back. She should look up with a confused and/or disoriented look. Now is the time to kick her over onto her side, and again onto her stomach. Slide up behind her while she's still groggy and slow-moving, rip that tiny bikini bottom off, and slam your shaft into her cunt. You can gauge her liveliness from the pitch of her reaction.
Loud Cry: It's Alive, Oh Shit
Loud Moan: Ambiguous, Keep Screwing
Low Groan: Undead, Do Want!!
Feel free to rape her regardless of what she is. Note that she looked smoking hot when you saw her, and her sex will still have those luscious, wet walls after she dies. Rape on, /zom/, rape on.
So I read NotSage&'s Guide to Zombie Sexxin's: Domination, Damnation, & All Things in Between, and decided to try my hand at a similar guide. No original content here, but it may to be used as a supplement to NotSage&'s Guide. If there is any fail, I know /zom/ will find it and eradicate it. My zombie mythos is a bit different, so I decided to omit feeding and training issues. Nonetheless, I credit NotSage& with coining "Zombitch", whether he did or not. I write this because I feel there should be MOAR on the subject. Ragers are a headache, so a beginner's guide to enslaving a Romero sounded like a good place to start. Maybe this will start a series of how-to guides featuring other zombie exploitation. Hope you enjoy.
A Beginners guide to the Zombitch (First Draft)
By Anonymous
Capturing and caring for a Zombitch is an exciting and rewarding hobby for all those survivors finding ways to fill the long, maddening days of isolation following Z-day in the crumbling, burned shell that once was civilization. The companionship that a Zombitch can provide can ease the mind-numbing loneliness in an otherwise monotonous existence of repairing barricades, cleaning weapons, burning bodies, sniping, and tiresome masturbation.
The classic Romero Zombie is a perfect pet for beginners. She is blasted of coordination and speed, profoundly stupid, and can be handled with half the danger as a Rage zombie. Catching them is easy if the proper precautions have been taken. For these reasons, the Romero Zombie will be the focus of this guide.
Why a Zombitch?
So why the undead? Wouldn't it be safer to invest in a Real Doll? Or, God forbid, a real woman? Just what exactly are the incentives for putting your head in the lion's mouth...so to speak? The answers are simple:
- Never having to say you're sorry.
- Relatively inexpensive to take care of. (No one to share your precious rations with)
- The tedious hassle of dating is skipped entirely.
- Language, age, race, and culture barriers are removed.
- Disposability.
Choosing your Zombitch:
Find a zombitch that suits your personal preference. Perhaps one without an exposed ribcage, who isn't drooling ropes of rotting flesh, is burned, or perforated with shrapnel and buckshot. But hey, whatever floats your boat.
The fresher the Zombitch, the better condition her body will be in. A fresh Zombitch will stagger quicker, though still ungainly, than one who is older and whose body has broken down. Look for the lurched posture and speed of her movements and with enough observation, preferably through a good pair of binoculars, you will be able to separate the walkers from the shamblers, the runny bitches from the rotting bitches.
With luck, you may be able to find that diamond in the rough, the runway model that was infected through a bite on the extremity and then later died untouched behind a barricade, on a rooftop, or buckled in her seat belt still inside her vehicle.
Catching in the wild:
It goes without saying that catching a Zombitch can be a difficult endeavor. The Zombitch cannot be subdued, tranquilized, or otherwise made calm. From the time you catch her to the last day when you put her out to pasture, she will always be trying to tear a strip off your face with her teeth or dig her hands into her belly to unravel your intestines. Knowing this, novices may want to capture a specimen by shooting out the legs and then loping off the extremities with a machete. Certainly there is nothing wrong with this technique, but for those without an amputee fetish, capturing and holding a full-bodied Zombitch requires more in-depth planning.
Regardless the capture method, they all involve three basic principles:
- Immobilize:
Render her in such a way that makes her prone or otherwise unable to move. You can utilize a trap or do it yourself. - Restrain:
Bind her wrists and gag her. Blindfolding or tying a sack over her head is recommended as well. Whether you want to gouge out her eyes or spray paint over them is up to you. You'll need every edge you can get over your Zombitch. - Contain:
Once she's been bagged, ready her to be transported and locked up. Have a way to evacuate a wriggling body quickly and safely. Either a vehicle with large trunk space or a flat bed pickup truck.
It goes without saying that you'll need adequate protection while bagging and tagging the beast. Follow Max Brook's advice and wear tough, long sleeved clothing with as little straps and accessories for grabbing hands to latch onto. If you have gloves, wear them. A leather jacket is preferable to deterring bites.
If possible, always invest in handcuffs. Plastic zip ties may work fine for a generic restraint, but may not be suitable for a quick capture. Remember, the Zombitch is not just a thug who you can order to hold her hands behind her head for an arrest. She will RIP AND TEAR because you have huge guts. She will never tire in the frenzy, but you will. Every moment it takes you to shut her up will draw more and more of her kind. Plan for the worst. Have two escape routes, and be prepared to drop everything and run. It's not like she's going anywhere, and there are always more zombie fish in the sea.
Capture Method 1: Trapping
Zombies are idiots, driven only by an insatiable urge to feed and reacting to any stimulus their undead brains can perceive. None will be able to spot a trap lying in wait even as they stagger blindly into an open snare or pit. Clearly, all traps have the danger of snagging the wrong zombie, or you if you're careless. They also require patience, time, and the means for a quick getaway if things get out of hand.
There are a variety of snare traps that can be found and implemented in basic hunting guides. Urban environments may prove to be a challenge, but the basic principle of snaring an extremity with a rope and either tethering the victim in place or hauling them up like a big catch of stupid tuna remains the same.
Because of their poor coordination, zombies can be easily knocked off balance by trip lines and slippery or difficult terrain. Even a shallow pit filled with mud would be able to slow a zombie down to a clumsy trudging.
Whether she's hanging upside down from a tree or flailing about in a shallow pit, it's important to restrain her as soon as possible. Grab a hold of that waving arm and bend it behind her back. Take the other and lash them together. Cuffs are the best for this. Grab a pair off a dead cop. Get her mouth stuffed with a gag and make sure it's secure.
Capture Method 2: Snatch and Grab
This is a more direct approach that saves time and provides instant gratification. With enough care and preparation, a specimen can be yours short of hitting her with a truck and scrapping up her broken body into the back.
How you wish to confront your would-be Zombitch depends not only on your physical strength, but confidence as well. There would be nothing worse than halfway sneaking up on a Zombitch and then losing your nerve. First timers may want to utilize a beat-down stick wrapped in a blanket or towels to clobber a would-be Zombitch into a prone position on the ground. From there it's just a matter of pinning her and gift-wrapping.
Ideally, you'll want a friend to come along to help. Zombies never hesitate and they'll never stop struggling so long as there is stimulus present (your boot pressing down on the back of her head). A second party can either assist you in the capture or watch your back until the process is finished. A small group of three or four will make snagging the lone Zombitch easy as long as your teammates are trustworthy, focused, and know their specific role (watch out, captor, distraction, etc.) Don't get greedy. Go for the loner whenever possible.
Of course, the only friends you may have post Z-day at this point may be your guns and the heads of the zombies you've mounted on stakes and have been talking to for the last week. Without support, you'll have to rely on speed and stealth. Attack from behind and take her from surprise. A Zombie's senses have been atrophied by death. Leave no time for retaliation. Garret her with a rope and kick her legs out from underneath her. Don't worry about harming her. She's dead anyway. There is no blood to cut off from tight restraints. She will not asphyxiate. If a bone gives way and snaps, let it. Your safety takes priority.
Adjusting to her new home:
She may have been hell catching, but your new Zombitch will be a breeze to house. She'll require just as much space as you see fit. If that means leaving her shackled in a closet with a sliding bar installed on the door, so be it. You could leave her chained up outside if you wanted like a true dog. It's not a as though she would be in danger of being attacked, though letting her in and out of your fortification may lead to some difficulty. If you don't have a basement to shut her away in or a spare room to serve as a holding cell, then a closet is a decent alternative so long as the door has been reinforced.
The bindings that you originally used to retrain her will more than likely remain fixed to her for the duration of her stay. Wrists should remain tied and walking should be made impossible through the use of ropes, belts, or ankle cuffs. A spreader bar can be improvised with available materials. Zombies moan incessantly, and her gag should stay to shut the bitch up. Some handlers may want to remove teeth and fingernails at this point. Others may want to hobble their pet, that is, breaking their feet off with a sledgehammer ala Kathy Bates in Misery. It is up to your discretion to selective remove parts of your Zombitch you do not desire, breaking fingers, dislocating the jaw, etc.
Unfortunately, Zombies make for messy pets. Expect any room that she is housed in to take on her smell within a few days. Any fluids secreting from her orifices will drip onto the ground and pool in a foul soup. Employ the use of a plastic tarp or newspapers. You may want to hang air fresheners or use Lysol. Don't worry, she can't smell a thing. On the other hand, if you don't give a damn about the cell you store her in; you can ignore the above and just give it an occasional mop now and then.
For the above reasons you should remove any clothing your Zombitch is wearing upon capture. No doubt they'll be filthy or drenched in blood. There is no telling what she may have on her person, so removing her clothing would be wise to check for needles, knives, etc. With Zombies, there's no telling what you may find. Probe carefully for that unexploded M79 grenade you might have missed that was lodged in her torso.
If you can spare the water, give her a sponge bath, or dry her with a towel.
At this point the rewards of having your very own Zombitch will begin to surface as you inspect the nude body of your pet.
Tender Loving Care:
The appearance of your Zombitch depends entirely on you. Indeed, with the death of fashion, you will have an entire world of clothing to adorn your pet with. Objectification of women? She's the undead, and wouldn't know she was being exploited if you had her pull you from a homemade chariot naked. Shave her pussy, dye her hair, brand her with your personal mark...make her look like someone owns her. You are the artist, and your pet is your canvas. Feel free to explore the exciting world of body modification. Perhaps you can fashion her to closely resemble a lost loved one. With enough work, she can be anyone you want. Right mom?
A collar is suggested. It will help solidify the idea of her as your property, severing any kind of moral fibers you might still be needlessly clinging to. She is not a person and you should not feel obligated to treat her as one.
Of course, it's important to take note of the personal "needs" of your Zombitch, as well as guidelines for caring and prolonging her service life.
Clean your Zombitch on a regular basis. Give her a good wash here and there with a moist towel, and don't ignore her delicate areas or they'll become frothy with bacteria. Unfortunately, this may mean douching. There isn't much data available on keeping her undead vagina clean. You may have to experiment to see what works. Think of her as a pumpkin that has been carved. Eventually she'll start to grow some wretched stuff. Perhaps try motor oil?
Brush her hair only seldom if possible, and gently. It's not going to re-grow itself. Once it's gone, it's gone for good.
Which brings us to an important point: what you do to your Zombitch is permanent, so always keep this in mind. If you're one to using a riding crop when entertaining yourself, the marks that you inflict will not heal. Your Zombitch will develop permanent scaring around the areas where you restrain her. But if you've gone through the trouble of reducing an undead woman to a sex slave, then more than likely you're willing to look past such superficial flaws. Hell, every lash on her back is a like a notch on your belt. The hand shaped outlines on her ass are like permanent reminders of how fucking awesome you are.
For the purposes of beauty, use moisturizers to keep her skin nice and soft. You don't have to use a lot. Just the occasional application to keep her pleasing to the touch. While the supermarkets may be completely stripped of canned food, water, medicine, etc, you'll have a multi-colored universe of otherwise useless products to scavenge after Z-Day. Vaseline is fine too. Don't use too much, or you might find her flesh shaking loose from her bones the next time you're fucking the hell out of her.
Whether it's with scented lotions, perfumes, or sexy lingerie, you'll find that when you treat your pet, you're really treating yourself.
Intimacy with your Zombitch
Sure, your Zombitch might be a nice subject for your most depraved dress-up fetishes. You might talk to her or parade her around like some personal freak show. But let us not forget her underlying purpose to satisfy your human needs. That is, fucking her like an animal.
What many may find enjoyable is that your Zombitch will respond to you fucking her. She has no concept of pain or pleasure, but she will react to the given stimulus with bucking, snarling, and moaning. You may desire to remove the gag from your pet to enjoy the audio feast of her wild screams and growls. Be advised that doing so is extremely dangerous unless you are confident without a shadow of a doubt she cannot rip herself free.
Doggy style and spooning (and whatever variations on those positions) are generally the safest position to enjoy your pet, provided her neck isn't broken to the point where she can turn her head completely around to peel off your lower lip with her teeth. With spooning, you can enjoy both of her holes and have access to her breasts without her face wagging with mindless animosity in front of you. Grab the back of her head to keep her in control as you pump her from behind. If a difference in height between you and your undead partner make this difficult, play it safe and stick to doggy style. You may want to bend her over an object like a sofa, bed, or table to give you a break from her constant writhing. Plan out carefully how you intend to keep her hands secured so she cannot tear away at you with her fingernails (If you haven't removed them). You can hog tie her or cuff her wrists to her ankles. Bend her in the shape you desire, but always keep careful note of the position of her head and hands. Don't forget her toenails as well. Gloves or stalking may help relieve you of some of your worries. Missionary is possible if she's secured to a bed. Just remember you can't be too careful. Regardless of which you plan to enjoy, either her ass or pussy, use protection. And not just a condom, I mean protection. As in have a gun nearby to blow her brains out.
Lubrication is a nice luxury if it is available. Don't use anything oil based. Or, you can use the NotSage& technique. Slide in the pink and then in the stink.
On the subject of oral sex, this beginner's guide recommends that it is avoided altogether. Such a dangerous practice is for advanced handlers only. The wet, black mouth of a Zombie is where where the disease of zombification is most communicable. Toothless or not, single wrapped or double wrapped, the risk weighted against the pros makes an argument for the forbidden undead blowjob shaky.
A Final Word
This is by no means a complete guide. Rather it should be treated as an introductory to Zombitches as pets. There is still much to be understood about these creatures and it will be up to you and your pet to explore this strange new frontier. Experiment and have fun. If this is a hobby that you intend to pursue for the long run then treat your first Zombitch should be used to harvest as much data as possible. Giving her a nice chemical finish may preserve her beautiful, pale features. Try giving her a varnish finish. Why be satisfied with the holes she has, when you can always augment her with more? With a mate who's limbs you can twist and break, there may be a vast unexplored world of sexual positions for you to try. Document your behavioral modification breakthroughs. This guide will no doubt be the subject of many revisions from anonymous researchers like you.
In the end, what is important is that you enjoy yourself. After the planes stop flying overhead and the emergency broadcasts over the radio cease transmitting, you will look back to your decision to enslave that red-headed waitress you always crushed on before she died and the world went to hell. And you will smile and tip your glass of warm wine to the enormous fires burning in the distance from the safety of your recliner perched on the roof of your fortification, the sound of pet moaning softly, doubled over on the ground besides you like a faithful dog, face down on the ground, ass in the air, and wine bottle held tight in her twat.
-End
Special thanks goes to all those /zom/tards who provided a wealth of information for the basis of this article. A big thanks to NotSage& for his entertaining guide that inspired this.