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Ding!

Huh wuh. Where am I?

“Charging complete, Judge!” Lynn’s already unplugging herself from the outlet, looping the cord around her forearm. “While you were asleep I heard one of those subdarkner disposables loitering outside. Turns out it had the same idea as us, and was in the middle of mapping out all the feral nests on this floor! Gosh, I don’t even know if I could even think of that if I abandoned my Angel-given duty of protecting you at all times! Degenerate behavior aside... I’ve got to hand it to that little guy.”

“...okay I know what this dark world is based on, but you’ve seriously got to cool it with the anti-cellular remarks.”

“But- ”

“But nothing. You’re just as real of a person as they are- you are both darkners of equal value to their lightners, and you know it. Aesop is a wonderful companion to Anon, and the other phone darkner you just met saved us a lot of time by not having to hunt down any nests. You have a copy of their map, right?”

I look up to see her head hanging low, twiddling her thumbs.

“Lynn? You asked them for a copy of their map, didn’t you?”

“They told me where the nearest nest was... after I asked them for directions.”

“Lynn.”

“They wanted to plug their dirty USB charger into one of my ports, how could-”

“Lynn.” She flinches, looking down at me ashamedly. I sigh, getting out of bed and stretching as I head for the door. “...let’s just get to the nest. If you’re so worried about dirty cables, we can probably get them in this floor’s cafeteria if we don’t find any chests.”

“Judge, that’s not-!”

“LYNN.”

“...fine. No anti-cellular remarks.”

“Good.”


We mostly follow Lynn’s directions in silence. There seem to be a lot of these phone darkners out with their lightners asleep. Maybe it has something to do with how you’re not supposed to leave your phone charging all night.

Lynn tries to ignore it, but its face lights up in recognition when it sees me.

“Oh, my gOodness! Good EVEning, JudGe LIGHT nER< and LYnn!”
“Aesop! How’re you doing, little guy?” I approach it and affectionately rub the top of its’ head, mindful to avoid the lock button. “Lynn oh my god, it’s purring, how is that not the cutest thing?”

“CUte?”

“Like a marketable plushie...” Lynn tries to mumble under her breath, but Aesop beams at the backhanded compliment anyway. My god these things are too good for this dark world, I can’t help it.

“Hey, do you mind if I ask you something real quick?” Lynn’s snaps facing me, >!!! leaving a menacing red top-down glare against the rest of her face.

“oF CourSe, xJudGEx, aKSk away!!”

“Perfect. Now I know Lynn got directions for the nearest feral nest, maybe an hour ago? Can you just tell us if we’re close?”

“We are close, Judge! Don’t you trust my sense of direction? I have more processing power in my charging setup than it-” She stops when she sees my face brighten up from Aesop’s screen.

/VG/oogol Blueprints, that’s a good bit. Yeah, good, it looks like we take the next right, the second right from there... yep, got it. “Thank you Aesop.”

“OF Corues!! wouLD You like me to accomPany yOU on YoR journey?”

Lynn’s staring <=|o’s at me, so uh... “Maybe you can come with us if Anon and Gene want to, okay?”

“mORe Than okay! I am sUre GeNe can be purseaded to accompany yoU two and YouR Shaired Gole!”

“Absolutely. Dismissed!”

The little phone nods and wanders down a random hallway. Lynn’s not gonna kill me, is she? The... well okay, the daggers are gone. How... okay, how do I put this carefully.

“We should get a screen installed for you too, okay back up, don’t-”

She pushes the barrel of the pistol above my crotch at an angle. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t turn your bladder into a Dark Fountain.”

“You don’t have one, that’s the whole... look. I make a bunch of art on you, right? You know I’m a visual person, and... there’d be a lot of utility for having a screen and some controls, right?”

The gun is no longer pushed into your skin. Lynn’s eyes are wide... oh, okay, I think I get what’s going on.

“Lynn... when was the last time you’ve entered sleep mode?”

“... not since I’ve been activated, before you’ve arrived.”

“Which was...?”

“...it was a couple days, for me.”

“Oh, Lynn, jesus... what power setting are you on?”

“High Performance!”

“Fuck, of course you are, okay. Listen to me, okay?”

“Okay...”

“You seem pretty on edge, to me. I’m not gonna tell you to switch power modes, or anything, that doesn’t seem like it’ll do any good. But we’re about to enter a feral nest, right? How often do those enemies spawn?”

A bit of silence before she speaks up, dejected. “How often do anons post in the light world?”

“Well, there you go. How about we go in there, stay side by side, right? And we can make sure to piss off the hornet’s nest before we enter the battle. Give you plenty of targets. And once you’re at low battery, we can get you into a nice empty room, you can enter sleep mode, and I can find out where to get you some upgrades, okay?”

c>s scroll across her visor as her lip quivers. Ohh okay, well I’m glad I was right but this bimbo needs a hug. There... there she is, there’s the crying noises, let it all out you blubbering xenophobic pansy. We’re staying off 4chan for a while when we get out of here, that’s right, you’re gonna be a gaming laptop indefinitely.

“M-Maybe we can just get me into sleep mode now, Judge? This is draining my battery quickly enough, anyway.”

“Okay, let’s find an empty room close to the nest so I don’t get lost then.”

Lynn seems wiped out already, so I dip under her arm to make sure she doesn’t fall and crack anything. God damn, her core’s hotter than a Hots Flamesman... Flames Heatran... Hell... whatever, I’m not gonna brick a save over it.

Good, there’s an empty room right before the bend where the nest should be. That... oh, there’s no light in there. Sounds about right for a darkner spawn point. Open that door up, good.

“Need me to plug you in?”

“That’d be nice...” Alright, the panel was on this thigh? Good, good. She’s getting into a comfortable position on the cot, feeling for a spot underneath her hair wires... and alright, she’s out. Shit, better plug her in, there we go.

Let’s check this spawn point out.

...I know my phone light could probably pierce through the darkness, but if I need to use my soul to seal the fountain like Kris does, surely I can turn on that light, can’t I? Probably should’ve asked Lynn before I powered her off. Nice going as usual, Judge.

Nothing... seems to be working. I could just walk straight in to see if it kicks in automatically?

Also no. The floor’s getting wetter, damnit, I’m not looking to go out from a workplace accident like a bitch. And... it’s pulsing, oh, I see the bit. Now is it the whole hospital that’s some kind of organic Titan hybrid, or are nests some parasitic darkner mass that utilize the darkness powering the electricity and other utilities to create these posts? So much for the internet being dead. Spoiler alert Lain fans, the Wired is like that because of barnacles-

...well at least these eyes aren’t glowing yellow and pink. Just light blue... oh. Oh, fuck this is a Tomorrow theme Impost nest. And... that is a lot of eyes, wow!

Fuck it we ball. There’s the UI, MAGIC immediately- ah. TP gain reduced, a new spell called Blazing Demon Heart at 100%. Switch to FIGHT, I hit the prompt a little early, still a strong enough attack to one shot the post. Bracing myself, SackScarf in front of my face. The Imposts try biting center mass, the impact lessened by the multiple layers. I focus on dodging the barrage of post spam in the bounding box, steadily building up my TP and only registering the pain when I get hit. Not gonna let the pain get to me.

And hell, the biting is slowly draining my UI outside of my turn, that’s just great.

DEFEND inspires me to wrap the burlap around my whole head and crouch down.

Can feel some of the faces at my midsection crush from the pressure of bending over, howling in pain before dissipating into mist.

Oh, that’s new. Giving me warning boxes to dodge spews of words from the four cardinal directions. Makes sense this would be a mini-boss type situation.

And the DEFEND mechanic paused the health drain, kept track of the numbers. Didn’t gain much TP for the sake of survival, but that’s okay.

DEFEND again, don’t have to change my position. New attack, slurs and swears getting typed at random angles before spinning to aim at me and fire. That’s fine, I got plenty of healing items.

DDBurger doesn’t do as much healing as I’d like, but I’m not sure how much it’s worth burning so much TP for a Heal Prayer. Warning box flood again, I can get more TP from this.

After continuous chip damage, the DDBurger only had a net effect of 20 HP or so, DEFEND. New attack, teeth are forming at opposite ends of the bounding box and close in the middle with those damned blue eyes. Predictable enough to farm TP.

DEFEND, the biting attack again but faster. Take damage again, fuck.

Darkburger, horizontal attack, faster, manage to lock in, mild TP gain.

DDBurger, swear spawner, mild TP gain.
Darkburger, biting attack, mild TP gain.

DDBurger, rectangle warning boxes, moderate TP gain.

DEFEND, swear spawner, reduced damage, almost at 100% TP.

DEFEND, horizontal attack, reduced damage, health critical, 100% TP.

MAGIC. Blazing Demon Heart.

Everything goes white. When I can see again... oh holy shit, there’s that SOUL light source I needed. 10/250 HP, but its pulsing white. I feel strength coursing through my being, and take advantage by bandaging my wrists up with the end of the SackScarf.

J-Action became Mod Access.

Rip and tear until it is done.


Ah fuck it’s not done it’s not done it’s NOT DONE, I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.

The SOUL’s still lit up, thank god. Ah god this place is like a broken throat with the bones sticking out, ah god I have to hop over ribs and shit, fuck why did I think this was a good idea to solo. Would Lynn really have helped here? Would we really have been able to clear this out with a handgun and aimbot enabled? No use asking now, not if I’m fucked.

Oh god, I can’t tell if I’m headed deeper into the nest or if this trapped me like a nightmare labyrinth. Imposts are oozing from pores of the walls and ceilings, those should be enough to whip and gun. I probably need to eat and run too, goddamnit this was so stupid, stupid idea Judge, stupid.

Fuck... fuck, that’s a fork in the road, no- wait, that’s another light source, not taking any chances.

The ground’s getting more solid, holy shit I’m actually getting away with it. I’m gonna get out of this bullshit alive, oh sweet lord I’m-

A familiar lanky silhouette hovers a few inches off the ground, its pure black horns somehow not bumping up against the ceiling. The yellow and pink flashing crescent mouth grows into a malicious toothy grin as I keep charging forward, a phallic obsidian object on a hilt blinking in front of it, wielding it like a sword.

I leap forward, dual wielding the SackScarf. I anticipated the sidestep, whipping the end weighted with the Tight Screw in her general direction, managing to trap her free hand in the process-

Something firm and dry permeates through all my layers directly into my ass. The pain and overstimulation is too much, knees buckling from under my weight. I manage to catch myself with my hands so I don’t completely faceplant, but it starts to vibrate.

It’s... it’s not fucking fair. It shouldn’t feel... this isn’t... I can’t.

The... posts. They’re stopped by the light of the hallway... she’s gone. She’s gone but this thing’s still up my ass, oh, god it can’t feel this fucking good, it’s not fair.

It’s not... fair.

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Pub: 29 Aug 2025 06:02 UTC

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