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You decide it's PROBABLY ABOUT TIME that you do a REAL INTRODUCTION. You did make everyone go through all that trouble to get here, after all!

We already know your name is HAL... MOST OF THE TIME. But what about the other qualitative MUMBO JUMBO about you?

You are a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BOY. You also like OTHER BOYS, but that hardly matters when you're an INTERNET NERD. Boys don't really take to that. You're MIXED, mainly SPANISH, GERMAN, and SCOTTISH. You can SORT OF speak Spanish and German, but do it better over text than in person. Your birthday is MARCH 3RD, which is EASY TO REMEMBER because it's a PALINDROME. You live in NORTHERN CALIFORNIA, and are PRETTY SICK of people thinking you live in SOCAL. You've already mentioned your collection of ROBOT TOYS, but you also hoard DVDS and BLU-RAYS, HOMESTUCK, FALLOUT, X-MEN, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG, and CLOWN SHIT. Nobody but you likes this fact.

You have a tendency to be VERY LOUD and EXCITABLE, and you HARDLY EVER realize when people don't like that. You need to be TOLD OUTRIGHT, or you'll PROBABLY KEEP DOING IT. Your behavior sometimes FLUXUATES STRONGLY. Whatever the reason is, you usually just let it run it's course. Your memory is ABSOLUTE SHIT. This applies to both SHORT and LONG TERM information, but you somehow remember RANDOM UNIMPORTANT BULLSHIT FACTS. Great going, brain!

You like listening to SHITTY MUSIC that your friends HATE, but also music that ISN'T THAT SHITTY IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS. The list is STUPID LONG, so you put it all HERE instead of clogging up this page with it. You also have a love for GAMES NOBODY CARES ABOUT. Only you would go in a room and ask if anybody likes JAZZPUNK. You also put your EXHAUSTIVE list of video game interests HERE, like your music. You added your BULLSHIT MOVIE and SHOW taste for good measure.

You made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that you have a thing for VAMPIRES. You'll watch ANYTHING if it's vampiric enough. See VAMPIRE STRIPPERS. It SUCKED ASS. Your favorite, as is most everybody's, is INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. You like the show more, but the movie is ALSO PRETTY GOOD. You have a WATCHLIST PAGE that shows where you are in the series at any given moment. ARMAND is your ABSOLUTE FAVORITE, much to your brother's STERN DISAPPROVAL. Who cares what he did to Daniel? You're absolutely CERTAIN he was HAVING FUN in San Fransisco, 1973.

Besides TOYS, you spend your money on OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF OLD TECHNOLOGY. Do you really need a VINTAGE PRINTING CALCULATOR? Of course not. But you ABSOLUTELY HAD TO HAVE IT. Your parents are VERY DONE with your growing collection of CDS and CASSETTE TAPES, but you just can't help it! You would NEVER SAY NO to something like a FURBY, either. SOMEONE out there has to preserve old things!

Your brother says your PERSONALITY TYPES are as follows. ISFP 9w8 Sx/Sp 946 SEI SLUAN EFVL Sanguine-Melancholic IS(F). He's PROBABLY RIGHT, because he's a MASSIVE NERD when it comes to TYPOLOGY.

You have an AFFINITY for the AQUATIC. You keep a BETTA FISH, MYSTERY SNAILS, and a CORYDORA. They live HARMONIOUSLY in a FIVE GALLON TANK by your CYWHIRLGATE SHIP FANART WALL. If they DIDN'T, you would be PRETTY SAD. You dream of one day keeping SEA MONKEYS, but need to make space in your CLUTTERED ROOM before you can. You want them to have a GOOD LIFE.

You like MESSING WITH YOUR FASHION, and often dip your toes into ALTERNATIVE SUBCULTURE. You were once lovingly described as 'GOTH-EMO-TUMBLR-WHATEVER-CREATURE' by a teacher. You mainly focus on SCENE FASHION and do your best to NOT FUCK IT UP. GOTH LOOKS are easier for you, but it's HOT AS FUCK in California, and PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES. You have a strong liking to COSPLAYING IN PUBLIC, even if EVERYBODY YOU KNOW laughs at you for doing it. Everybody's a critic.

You enjoy COOKING and BAKING with your DEAR, SWEET FATHER. You SWORE to yourself that you would DO YOUR BEST to learn EVERY RECIPE you can from him. Being in the kitchen makes you feel like you're in THE BEAR, even though you FORGOT TO FINISH THAT SHOW. He's made ALMOST every one of your BIRTHDAY CAKES, and ALWAYS FOLLOWED THEME. NOBODY ELSE has ever taken THAT MUCH TIME working on something for you. They're FOND MEMORIES, and you're glad you have them.

You are PHYSICALLY IMPARED, and have a HARD TIME walking for long periods of time. Usually you FORCE THROUGH THIS, but doing that USUALLY FUCKS YOU UP FOR A WHILE. You are ACHILLIES TENDONITIS PRONE, and it REALLY FUCKING SUCKS. You also have FLAT FEET. Both of these things at least mean you WON'T BE GETTING DRAFTED ANY TIME SOON.

KEL asked that you MAKE A SECTION ABOUT THEM. You were pretty sure this was YOUR introductory page, but YOU AGREED ANYWAY. You'll also include YOUR BROTHER, because WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE. The THEODORE LOVE CLUB is a group chat born 10/29/2022. You three have been STUCK WITH EACH OTHER for a VERY LONG TIME. TLC usually consists of CONVERSATIONS ABOUT WHATEVER EVERYBODY IS CURRENTLY INTO, KEL'S RANTS ABOUT GIRLS LOVE, JACKBOX, LONG VOICE CALLS ABOUT NOTHING IN PARTICULAR, WATCHING PSA COMPILATIONS, and 'CRUDE AND SEXUAL' JOKES, even though YOUR BROTHER absolutely REFUSES to partake in the latter. You LOVE THEM BOTH DEARLY, even if they DRIVE YOU INSANE sometimes.


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Pub: 08 Jun 2025 00:24 UTC

Edit: 08 Jun 2025 01:51 UTC

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