• mspec lesbian/gay
That's the thing when your identity and orientation changes, its freaking complicated. No, bi doesn't fit because it's not both at the same time and not the same identity being both gay and lesbian. (Also, people can be lesbian romantically and bi sexually, for example, that's one of many examples why someone would be mspec lesbian, or mspec gay if you change some labels in this example), not to mention bi-lesbians are a part of the lesbian community. This could be because someone has strongly associated their orientation as m-spec but over time has realized they're gay or lesbian, but due to internal conflict or feelings, still doesn't feel like leaving their m-spec label would be appropiate. Some people who don't fall in the genders of male or female use mspec gay to describe the complexity of their gender and the way it interacts with their sexuality too.
In either of these cases and countless others, each person is valid.
p.s. not every bisexual likes women and men. Bisexuality is the attraction to more than one gender usually between one's own gender and another.
p.p.s. saying that bisexuality is only attraction to women and men implies a cisgendered narrative that only cismen and ciswomen exist (thus ignoring the existence of other genders regardless of intention).

  • Bisexuality can be defined as the attraction to at least two or more genders. Hence the term bi- meaning two.
  • Being pan doesn't mean that there is always attraction to just anyone regardless of gender, but it can also be attraction to some people regardless of their gender but some genders don't feel attractive at all. While pan can be defined as gender-blind, it doesn't have to be blind to every gender.

• Gaybian
"How is that possible to be both lesbian and gay?" I'm bigender/multigender and my gender is fucked and nothing at the same time, and not understanding an identity doesn't necessarily make it harmful, being gaybian or mspec gay/lesbian doesn't mean I force people to be both, or to like men while identifying as lesbian or any other bullshit I've seen anti mspec say.
For me, being gaybian is because I'm intersex- and while I've always been seen as femme more or less, that's part of my identity/labels and I've always aligned with pansexuality and shortly after realizing nocismasexual, a lesbian. since I'm a transman as well as multigender/bigender, being gay also fits me but it's very specific- and is how experiences vary across all mspec folk/folx; each one is special.
Someone who isn't intersex could also use this term in their own way. Some lesbians also simply prefer the term gay over lesbian, which is something that is rooted within the lesbian community.

so yeah no we don't owe you comfort by changing our labels to fit yours. :)
Telling people to just be sapphic or just be achellian or just be something else doesn't mean we will or that we should. As a community full of diverse feelings and love interests it makes sense to support one another rather than dislike/hate or even threaten others. This is about love, not about something that science has said can or cannot exist like within health or physics. (This is not meant to be used as "well science said lgbt people don't exist", there's actually a great video on this that discusses in depth the scientific value that has been found around this topic).

A special shoutout to this rentry that provides some nice positivity. :D

Edit
Pub: 23 Jan 2023 22:54 UTC
Edit: 02 Mar 2023 07:04 UTC
Views: 43