aska please dont do anything stupid. i love you. please
oh man☹️
my cat has been following me for days now, stella is normally pretty clingy but recently she is everywhere i am. i was sleeping like all day and she slept next2 me the entire time. i dont know why its a bit odd. it makes me worried idk.. is she depressed? am i depressed? i finally left my room after many many days of just sitting in my bed and she sat with me in the living room, and now im in my room again and so is she. shes eating normally and all that so idk im lost, she seems gentle with me2, normally shes pretty sweet but she just seems more gentle. maybe i should do research and make sure shes not sick or anything.
helo stella updates, i took2 reddit for help and a very nice person told me that she can probably sense im upset + the change of weather, she has no health issues because her breathing is very normally paced. so yes it is because im depressed 👀 but shes perfectly healthy, just incase im gonna monitor her breathing.
have you ever considered the afterlife? what happens when you are dying? if youre sitting in a bathtub bleeding out, does ur life flash before your eyes? or do you just sit there and think?
i never meet my own standards. i feel like everything i do isnt good enough, like even if i hurt myself i cant do it good enough. im failing in so many ways im almost impressed. i set so many goals for myself and i dont think i will ever reach them now.
i couldve been something great
19th
ive been so stressed recently, i find it hard2 take care of myself in the past few days, it feels a bit pathetic.
imissuouand ihopeyoutegonbeokbecaysei dontonowhwatid doif i didnthavenybestfriend
they are putting my meds dose2 200mg thanks everypony
fishtank live is the best show ever. ok.? because if i put everyone I KNEW into fishtank ohhhmygod i would like actaully start levitating. holyy shit dude ohmygodd
who i would add into my fishtank live:
nikk, grian, trey, grey, hermit, xavir, neo, rory, karrisa, callum, angie, ani, kaitlyn, andrew, kayla, olive,
some of these are very cool friends and some of these are OPPS. i am planning this all out in my head, i bet think winner wld be nikk jst because hes my favorite and also the best.. personally i think the first out would be neo because hes BORING. i think 9/16 would crashout.. and the all time favorite2 bully would be olive 👀
21st
hi i cant sleep, its 4:18 am. thats all.
12:53 hii i am going2 the zoo with my auntie nd uncle$ i am excited cuz its my faborite zoo.. cuz its all outside and stuff ahhhhh.. i am also getting my favorite drink and yYayayay! good things today. i hope.. im excited oh man. OH MAN!!
22nd
i feel lost
24th
minecraft
ok maybe i but thats ok. someone shoot me now
everything is very cold, and dark. im tired, i kinda hate you all. its nothing personal im just tired. i dont think im a good person.. or friend. oh mannn oh man
i have this sinking feelings im gonna die. like maybe its because danny springer got me into a car crash but, everytime i drive anywhere i feel like im gonna get into a crash and die. i feel like im gonna die in my sleep, maybe i will die
25th
"i hate you kenny" really? really!! you promise 👀👀🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛🧐🧐🧐😅😅😅😅😅its not the 25th, its 11:33pm on the 24th. I DONT CAREE IDONT care. MY DIARY. i can decide what day it is and i can say what i want. i feel impending doom inthe near future. perhaps i should take a break, because i am a copycat. on daily i talk2.. two people. i need2 clear my head so i think a hiatus or whatever for a good while would be good. im tired as ive stated many many times and i cannot give people the answers and energy they want back. im fine, mentally. just tired and im stressing myself out constantly and overthinking everything. i dont knpw if ill update my diary in my absence, as mych as i LOVE talking about myself. i kinda just wanna disappear fully. i dont wanna talk2 anyone and i dont want people bothering me. i have this sickly feeling nobody wants2 speak2 me either, so thats not helpful. i feel guilty with my own existence and i, frankly, dont like that.
im not coming back anytime soon. i 100% think you are all out for me, this was a fun run. i love you guys!! kenny out
P.S it snowed today. ur welcome
????? say what you wanna say
i cant help but giggle a little 👀 this is so middle school instagram story coded
watar we talking about
this feels like sending a pigeon to deliver ur letters
telegram, tiktok, discord, immesage?? no. rentry diary.
do we look schizo?? rn??
where r we dropping this important convo at guys, wheres the battle bus dropping tn
hop on telegram👀👀👀lets have this convo
thn what do u want me2 do🤔🤔
shouldnt we sort this out now.. or
wnat the fuck ru talking abt LMFAO?????? holy shit
im so fucking evil and crazy and FUCKKKKKKK!!! 🤣🤣 get locked in a room! get me those overwatch scores NOW!!!
27th
ithanksgiving... sigh, stupi holiday. i dont mind today though, its just me, my grandma and raymond and im ok with that. they watch football and i dont care for sports so i just kinda sit around as i always do. its snowy out, very.. we are supposed2 have a storm thissss uhmm weekend. i dont know how 2 feel, i mean rn. about things. im kinda like "👀" i spoke2 some people. ok no i spoke2 kacie and nikk. (hi guys) both of them have very good points, whole situation is childish, and i very much do need a break. i think i need time to think. i will come back, and i dont want issues with anyone to arise when im gone. im kinda lost, i mean in a sense. all my intentions are not evil, in my eyes anyway. im not trying2 hurt anyone or manipulate anyone, im just dumb😭i think sometimes i overlook situtions and i freakout, i run when im scared and i push people away. i know deepdown ill come2 regret my actions, and i always do. i love the people in my life, i love kacie and benny and nikk and ferris and che and what have you. i dont ever listen2 people though, and for once i should, and i will. im scared that some of the things i do and say wont be able to get fixed. i dont wanna keep repeating everything over and over. i dont even feel kinda comfortable using my diary because sometimes i come off the wrong way, but this is my space no? i know what alot of people think of me, i wont deny im stubborn and selfish sometimes. im either2 mean, sad, nice, or some other shit. at the end of the day im just feeling everything all at once. i still think about something i said in the past, about being in a bubble in space. sometimes i wish i could do that for a period of time. i need to focus on my own actions and myself and reflect but i feel like if i dont do everything in a perfect way ill still end up losing the people i care about most. i dont want anymore situations i just want to work towards fixing myself and the future. anyways im thankful for stella and my collection of shit and some of my family and my friends thanks👀👀
28th
hi im bringing back a era of mine, which one u may ask? a good one. thats all👀stream lapfoxtrax and on the internet <<
7:36 im so content rn. editing is very fun.. im using it as a way2 cope.. but, i still enjoy doing it none the less. suppose it kinda exposes how i feel in a way though. i am very much back2 some of my older interests, thats not a bad thing id think. i was pondering if i could get some vn games2 run on my shitty apple computer, i believe its possible... i have a few more charon games2 play so. on other news, we are redoing the house bathroom.. i picked the sink and the tiles thats are gonna go on the wall, im quite excited4 the outcome despite how much i hate change.... uhh i have other thoughts but i dont... wanna put them here.zzz nothing personal2.. you guys. idk who reads these,,, idk its better 2besafe.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
29th
i havenobody 2 talk about fionna and cake with.. its very frustarting i wannan go on rants.. 👀🍃🍃plz dm me if u wanna talk abt the show. idc who u are. thankz
30th
oh we are so circle ⭕️
i keep sleeping weirdly its pissing me off. i sleep so much its aughhhhh whatever. hello i am tired, it snowed very much and now we have lots of snow
people i hate: me
people who hate me: tori, rpx, sleuthers sluts, grian, olive, most of my friends, elyse, hermit the crab, grey, my father, half my family, my dog, ray, people i do not know the names of, myself, jaydel, andrew, trey stone, myself, probs karrisa, myself, people who tell me they do not like me, nettspend, the commie, craftys friend group, me, anyone else i didnt mention that hates me
people who love me: my cat, stella, the cat i own,
the end
people who want me dead: everyone who isnt stella, myself, everyone on the list,
people who are dead: ray
people who will die: everyone who isnt stella
why isnt there a insult that starts with x this is stupid
if any of you use soundcloud (or have in the past) and like breakcore help me find a song. i will pay you (nothing i will pay you nothing but i will love you forever)
i feel like crying and kicking the wall i feel like my life is this is all so stupid everything ever all of this is stupid everything is stupid i am stipid you are all stupid we are all stupid. awful awful awful im going2 burn in hell and all of you will laugh i feel like whatever god is wants me dead "do it kenny i believe in you kenny i love you kenny kill yoursself kenny" i cant rven kill
myself right 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣i wish i had a punce of normality in me. i dont know what to do anymore