last month

dec 1

hello i uhm found the song i wanted, well someone i dont know did(thanku random person still..) hello soc i know u read this. soc is a new character for the dull verse.. we are mutuals on my non TCC editing acc and uhh now we are buds, so thats supa cool. a cool lad indeedπŸ‘€we are gonna collab at some point. anyways i am sitting here thinking, i am kinda tired and uhh hmmm idk loll
i feel weird i rhink idk i cant tell rn

it is 4am and i cannot sleep. i feel sad.

it is 9am and i am TIRED and I DIDNT EVEN HAVE ANY LIVE CLASSES SO I DONT KNOW WHY IM STILL AWAKE. whateva

3 hours of sleep im so tired but i cant sleep. i feel kinda confused and very sick hahaha..

im not tired anymore, which is most likely not good.. but its ok. i was soo tired i couldnt even think about all the things that were upsetting me, and now ο‘€ο€”πŸ‘€now i can!! 6-6-yayayayya.. yaya!!!!...

nipako-chan and project tokyo dolls had a collab 5 years ago..uhmm nipako is so cool. image
i learn much about her.. though its quite rough as shes mostly known in japan, and i do not know japanese.... shld i redo my rentry after her?? i could talk abt her for abit i do like her. she is me

haha look what i got. uhm. nipako .. yeah ok shut up kenny!! we dont care!! KILL YOURSELF

dec 2nd

imso tired. i passed out watching a movie.. which .. i dont rmbr doing.. whateva bru. i finished it jst now. it was sad,, paperhouse is a sad movie.. its so cold out i dont wanna go outside.
ALSO SIDE NOTE WHO THE FUCK IS READING THESE. WHY DOES THIS HAVE 50 VIEWS I MADE THIS YESTERDAY GUYS. ?!

ebay i hate you ebay. i hate ebay sellers.

this is so kenny dullrifle alice in wonderland AU nipako clipper larp mommy city slop fest

9:53pm i am pondering.. i have many thoughts on many situations. my stomach hurts and i hurled earlier.. this is quite normal for me.. though..

dec 3rd

hi its 1:50am soi shld sleep soon ah.. uhhh i ran into sid on evrskies!! we are friends now this is cool.. a really rare happen but still idk i think its kinda cool.. uhhh i cant think im so tired rn.. (if yu dont know who sid is it dont matta ok? jst know we are pals now)

im thinkinggggggg.. ahh uhh hello people. alot of random people have been reading my diary, i dont know WHY because its BORING and i really only update it 2 get my current thoughts out. but recently, ive spoken2 lots of new people and they all go "hey i read ur diary" like wow really yo! whats good! i am still mostly convinced the same 4 people rotate my diary and just refresh it alot, so i dont know.. i only have 4 confirmed diary readers (hi nikk hikacie himaybe evan and i think hi hermit (?))))??(((??) the rest of you.. i dont know.. ok? i mean i know but idk who you are! maybe thats the fun part, not knowing.. but i also like2 know sometimes. my ONLY concern is like, the opps. if youre my opp and you read my diary(like alot) you are FAT and should kill yourselfNOW! and i HATE YOU! haha haha!

im in the worst pain ever someone shootme. icant dude holyshit today sucked SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED EVERYTHING SUCKED!

4th

i hate

LMFAOOO i wantu2 sit there and tell me what u think was gonna happenπŸ‘€ru fucking dumb yo?

nipako nendriod bought. i hate RETARDS soomuch holy shit yo! anyway im very well, i spent lots of money but its ok because im happy.haha

5th

12:58
hi i cant edit. i have no motivation nd im 2 stressedbyo yo yo yo yo yo you are so fat and stupid boy yo yo die yo yo fuck u ο‘€ο€” nikk kacie kenny alice in wonderland au is real. dont play with me. ITS REAL ITS REAL

i think im depressed, or like suicidal or both or something. which is gay and i do not support. nooo dullrifle we need you, yeah brume2
i feel like this is lolkey my fault yo.. hahahaha idk haha

1:49pm

i wish i could drive so i could drive super fast and smash into a tree or roll into a river. i lawveeee my friendss ahaha!

6th

DONE DEAL. i cleaned some of my room , i hve2 edit blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah

somebody kill meο‘€ο‘€ο‘€ο‘€

7th

i donr wanna say anything

I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT! I DONT I DONT I DONT. hi i found out danny stalks my rentr my despite the last time we spoke was in 2024 abput grian, i ws shocked so hello danny if you see this. it rlly does make me wonder who reads my rentry. AUGHHHHHHH i am avoiding everything going on rn. idk what 2 do, i will figure it out. i always do.

8th

that didnt answer my question

ahhh immplanning a new schedule for myself, wakeup, feed pets, school, go back to sleep, sleep till 4pm, feed my dog dinner (at 4pm) and go back to sleep and repeat, i wouldnt mind that. sounds quite nice if you ask me

i cannot fall back asleep, shame because the idea was rather nice.. although i had dreams ans they made me sad so prob4 the best yea? im thinking (shocker right?) i think everything is kinda blurring together for me im not really sure what2 do rn

people can tell me what they want me2 do but change wont happen unless i do things on my own. i wont ever be a better person or change if i cant do the right thing without people telling me what to do. i can get guidence and advice but nothing will happen if i cant put my foot down by myself, sometimes i do need a little push in the right direction but does it really mean anything if im doing stuff for other people and not myself? i guess what im saying is id rather put my footdown myself, i know what i needed to do for awhile and i put it off, i dont know why so dont ask me. even though its a bit 2 late now i feel almost good i did it for myself and not because i was told. although if i did it before this situation maybe i wouldnt have lost all the important people in my life, but i guess lesson learned

undo button undo button undo button. please stop texting me it hurts my head. #hellodanny #helllokenny #godlooksdownonusall #thereisnoend anyways andrew mention wtf!? what the fuck!! what the fuck!!!!! let go of me boy! its over!! we cannot be together im sorry!! it will ruin the facade of a life i am trying2 fix. i feel so ill. i cant eat anything it just spills out. i need to be euthanized, i find no purpose in all of this. the conscious desicions i make will be the death of me. i regret everything ive done in the past few months. i am either going to get better or rot away. everything feels so hopeless now i feel like its not even worth it. i find myself digging a deeper hole. i want out, i want 2 see the sun again. if i have to climb myself out i will, with whatever i have left in me. even if i do it alone, maybe that wouldnt be so bad.

there is no forgetting and no forgiving. nobody has time for that, its easier to move forward. what really is forward? dont ask me i dont know. i dont care. i do care, i just suck at showing it. it angers me that i do the same thing over and over but it feels like there is a little clock in my head. it just ticks and ticks and starts back at 12. if you asked me why i do the things i do i would tell you i dont know, i do know. im sure some part of me does. lonliness, desperation, pity, i know the outcome, i know the answer, but ill do it anyway. its never been personal, its just a constant battle i have with myself. i could end it. im sure i could.. with the help of no one even. but i find that even in my happiest moments im scared that i shouldnt be like that, it makes more sense to ruin my life thn2 fix it. because in my eyes my life amounts2 nothing. in other peoples eyes my life means something, and i dont understand that. for a while i was happy, and i did think i couldve stayed that way. its funny how one person can change the way i am. i will always look down upon myself for that. i fear that i should break this cycle, or maybe the clock. im scared, ive always been scared. if i become a better person will people still like me? will i still be me? will people still find me interesting? im writing this for myself, not anyone else. i hope when i do break the clock i can look back at this, and i will forget why i was so scared. maybe when i do ill even laugh at this, i sure do hope so.

9th

hello guys. i made a privater rentry 4 some more personal thoughts, so dm me if you want a linkο‘€ο‘€

1:32pm i wokeup jst a little agp.. like 5-10 minutes. im still tired.. i had a weird dream it made me feel SAD and thn i wokeup very sick. supa dupa fuckin rancid and gay guys am i right. hate gay people. aughhhh uha i wanna play weapon maayhem thats a good game. im tired i might go back2 sleep.. idk yo

πŸ‘€

9:22pm

i do not yghh ugh ugh ugh ugh lots of stuff going on in my head, i am ok though. i think yaa? ο‘€πŸ‘€i feel like the only person whos upset over recent situations. or maybe its jst cuz im rlly front forward with how i feel. i do not pity you for going back2..the . now i know how everyone felt with me and OOOO ITS SO ANNOYING. like ooooo dude im oooo its painful2 watch. wasnt even worth my time, im not helping you this time, you knew this would happen. its not my problem!! goodluck! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHο‘€ο‘€ο‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€#goodluck πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€ i understand everything now.

10th

no comment stay ο‘€ο‘€ο‘€

for everything that its worth, im sorry. its kinda2 late for that, but with everything in me im sorry. i wish i couldve done things differently, i couldve listened. and i shouldve, but i didnt. i was a awful friend, and over all a awful person. in the end the outcome is all on me. i will not reach out to any of you, as that seems.. like its not the right thing2 do. if, any of you do wanna talk to me i want you to decide that, not me. im not asking for forgiveness, or for you guys to come back. i feel as though i could go on about my recent regrets and how much i wish i couldve done everything better. but its2 late and the only thing i can do is move forward. even if i really do never speak2 any of you again, you did mean alot2 me. even if i wasnt always the brightest or the best friend i shouldve been. there was alot i couldve done better and i know this. i can only learn from my mistakes. and i hope i do. i wish you all well, you will always know where to find me if you want. you guys were patient with me, for a really really long time. and i will always admire that. thank you. i couldnt have asked for better friends, its 2 bad with this outcome. im sorry i didnt listen sooner. im not gonna be using this diary again, as it feels like this would be meaningless afterwards.

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Pub: 01 Dec 2025 06:50 UTC

Edit: 10 Dec 2025 18:39 UTC

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