first chapter

“Judge, wake up! They’re serving dinner!” Wha... oh. Right, I’m still here. Not just a one-off nightmare, but my actual life now. Man, the reality of this is... starting to hit a lot harder than I’d expected.

Lynn repeats my name, waving her hand in front of my face. “Huh?”

“Your hands are shaking.” Ah, so they are. “You okay?”

“Nah.” She moves out of the way when I stand up, yawning as I get some good stretches in. “Some food should help, though. We can walk and talk, right?”

“True!” Lynn pushes the door open, holding it out for me. “I know where the cafeteria is, just follow me!”

“Sure thing.” When I’m outside, she turns to the right and I’m close behind, wrapping both hands around the excess scarf like it’s piano wire. Can’t think of any other way to wield my only fucking weapon here.

Seems like the other anons are more... active, than when I got here. The walls are thin enough for me to hear moaning and rhythmic thumps against... various surfaces. And two other green anons stripped to their gowns are making out up against the wall just up ahead. Not sure how good of an idea that is with the random encounters, but more power to them.

“Are the other anons usually... this horny?”

Lynn giggles. “You should see the fatfag floor. They’ve been going at it like crazy since Chapter 3. Especially with Paint Anon’s output, oh man!”

“What, she’s gotten dragged into this shit too?”

“Everyone that’s ever posted in the threads will end up here, sooner or later.”

What the fuck does she mean by that? “Unless we seal the fountain, right?”

“Who knows? Hasn’t been sealed yet, and not for lack of trying! You’ll see what I mean when we get to the roof!” Her tone shifts. Thank god, she’s been way too chipper about all this ominous shit. “Maybe it’ll be enough to convince you to change your mind.” Actually never mind this is worse.

“We almost there, Lynn?”

She sighs. “Just around the corner.” Lynn turns the corner and is stopped in front of a pair of double doors when I’m caught up. Her expression is concerning, coupled with her screen scrolling continuous ゴ characters.

“What, what’s wrong?”

She pauses with an ellipses. “Maybe they’ll let me bring your food out here, instead?”

I scoff, approaching the other double door and finding a window. “Look, it can’t really be-”

That’s a lot of blood. There’s a couple of fat figures huddled in a pile off to the side, with another one in the corner, gnawing on a pink arm. Bloated features aside, it kind of looks like Jevil? It has bulging yellow and pink eyes, though, along an extra pair of arms or two. The other figures aren’t as clear, but you can tell they’re different sizes from the silhouettes, and recognize at least one bobbing pair of antennae in there.

Oh hey a screwdriver. Yeah that’s big enough to be a weapon, especially with the gloved hand still attached. “Lynn, look!”

She grips my wrist as I reach to push the door open, urgently whispering. “Are you crazy? Fatsimiles shouldn’t even be on this floor, and neither of us are strong enough to take them on right now.”

These fucking names, I swear to god. “Maybe we can distract them with something?”

“There’s too many of them for that to work, especially with their senses of smell. If one of them notices you, they’ll swarm us!”

That’s a good point... no, wait, Lynn’s a computer. “Why would they swarm you? Aren’t you robotic?”

“It doesn’t matter if my bullets don’t do enough damage for body shots! Even if I get one in the head, that’s still at least another half dozen charging me!”

“Bullets? Like a-”

Someone opened the double doors from the opposite hallway. All the Fatsimiles’ heads snap towards the noise. Nobody moves for a good few seconds.

The poor bastard makes a break for it, the feral darkners already barreling past the doors before it swings shut. Yeah Lynn was right, we would’ve been fucked.

Speaking of which, now that the coast is clear. I motion my head for her to go inside, slowly backing away from the double doors. Taking a deep breath, she quietly pushes forward, sticking her head in to scan the perimeter before slipping inside. In spite of the clear screaming coming from the parallel hall, I slowly creep forward so I can get a better look.

Before I can get a good look, I notice movement from the corner of my eye and spin around to face- oh. Just one of those post things, and a small one at that. Surely this can’t be too much of a hassle to deal with on my oh hey a battle menu.

* IMPOST – AT 1 DEF 1
* Forgettable.

Well that was useless oh my god the attack phase alright. Looks like it’s just strings of text coming in from right to left, and I’m able to move my heart normally despite it being green. Seems easier than normal, more like I’m moving a mouse cursor than using arrows. It’s kind of horrifying how seamless this is.

Okay we’re back, that’s good. Let’s... no, wait, the Charderly said it was either kill or be killed after killing one of these, right. Let’s FIGHT then.

...no QTE? Well, alright. Once again dual-wielding the scarf, I launch myself at the enemy and manage to land a blow right in its snout, for dominance. While it’s disoriented, I swing my knee right between where its shoulders would be, scarf around its neck, cross my arms and jerk my hands back. Looks like it’s working, its too choked out to properly cry out, helplessly flailing underneath my weight. Feeling confident, I figure to get a few punches to the head in before it collapses.

It dissolves into a red mist as soon as it touches the ground. I feel myself get a little stronger.

Lynn slips out of the dining room beaming, screwdriver in her hand this time. She looks around before seeing me to her left, still on my knees. She giggles at me. “What are you doing on the floor, Judge?”

“Oh, I just... killed one of those post things.” She looks... disappointed? “Was I not supposed to?”

“OH, it’s not that at all!” she reassures as she walks up to me. ”I was just hoping... we’d get to share our first battle, you know? But it’s alright, especially if you need to defend yourself in a pinch!” She offers her free hand, helping me up, and gives me the screwdriver. Seems like a KEY item to me, especially if I can’t change my weapon type.

“Oh yeah, I found something else for you in there!” She holds up a new scarf for me, seemingly made out of burlap. “This looks way more durable than the one you came with!”

I graciously accept it, checking my Equip menu just to make sure.

Oh, I didn’t even notice gaining any dark dollars from that fight. Already up to $46, not bad.

SackScarf - +4AT, +4DEF, -2 Magic
* A durable scarf made from recycled materials. 20% chance for consumables to remain in inventory.

That sounds overpowered as shit for my low level, I EQUIP it alright.

“Looks good on you, Judge! It’s smart to cover your nose and mouth like that in such an unsanitary place like this, you have good instincts!”

“I try.” Oh, there’s my stomach growling. “We can get food somewhere else, right?”

“Yep, there’s another dining hall right above us! We should probably grind a bit before making our way upstairs, though. Preferably while making some distance from the Fatsimiles. A Janny would’ve been alerted long before we found that mess, but you can’t be too careful around here!”

“Wait, would we still be on time on the euro side?”

Lynn’s visor flicks over to the time and she gasps excitedly. “If we hurry we’ll have enough time to get you a plate!”

“Perfect, lead the way!” Oh shit alright, she’s fast. Faster than I’d have figured for a laptop her age, anyway.

Okay she is stopping at the corners to let me catch up, cool.


Alright, so this is a moderately big building. Took a fair amount of time to get to this other cafeteria, even without any other enemy encounters. Sad that neither of us could gain experience, but I could stand keeping this reprieve from combat going. Lynn doesn’t hesitate to hold the door open for me this time, so I can trust the coast is clear.

Not too many other lightners in here, but with how many were still in their rooms, it made sense. All these guys were accompanied by their own personal computers turned darkners as well, with the only consistent visual motif being the LED visor display where the eyes would be. They and Lynn were greeting each other with friendly familiarity, I was getting all kinds of comments between ‘kys tranny’ to ‘would rape gote anon’. A little much for how I envisioned the artfag floor, but in person it wasn’t too bad.

Don’t have to wait in line to get my food, at least. No staff either, it’s just a free bar with plenty stocked left. Took the opportunity to stuff my inventory with free DD-Burgers and a little Spaghetti Code for good measure. Pick up a TV Dinner for my hunger now, before getting a table to myself.

...huh. I don’t have to take my scarf down to get the food in my mouth. Convenient, like the meal. Dunno what kind of meat this is, but it definitely kicks ass.

My immediate reaction to someone grabbing my chest is to elbow them directly in the face. My second one is confusion, since it was definitely not how that would usually feel. Like, I know this body feels different even without the green skin, but it’s not like I’ve found any mirrors.

“So is it female?” someone shouts a few tables over.

The groper responds with “If it is it’s flat, I think!”

“Faggot.” I repeat myself when his head swivels my way, confused.

“...you’re tall for an underage.” Oh, I can work with that.

“Yeah.” A moment of silence and a few awkward glances later, and he’s gone. Glad that didn’t start a battle, that could’ve gotten messy.

Man, that hit the spot. Glad I was able to finish my meal without any further interruptions and ow. Okay this guy’s big and he’s already got me bent over the table. The involuntary moan did not make this any better. I don’t need to see the bar to feel the tension points slowly start to build.

“Mmh. You’re used to this, aren’t you, Ralsei?” Shit. I could really use some backup here, Lynn. I can’t help but wriggle under his grip, but that’s only gotten him to push up against my clenched asscheek, already throbbing. “Oh, fuck yes. You’re going to be just as tight around my cock, I can tell.”

He’s taking his time by lifting up the bathrobe first. Doesn’t look like he can see my combat UI off to my side, and luckily I can still navigate the menu without any free hands.

OW, he had to yell RIGHT in my goddamn ear. I practically dive out from under him as soon as my hands are free. He crumples over the table in humiliation and mind-numbing pleasure, totally at the mercy of the massive gray phantom cock rhythmically ramming itself up his ass. I turn to Lynn lowering her pistol, the emoticon on her display mirroring her stunned expression.

“ANON!” A bulky darkner to Lynn’s left cries out in a panic over his Lightner being in trouble, quickly stepping around the other computers to come to his aid.

We take the moment of concern as our cue to bolt from the cafeteria altogether, not intending to stop any time soon.

We got a few unpredictable turns in, but I cannot keep this up. I nearly trip from the momentum as I stop myself, Lynn skidding to a halt when she doesn’t hear my footsteps. She tries asking me if something’s wrong, but I raise my hand to stop her, trying not to throw up. It’s still too much, so I stumble up between two of the doors to properly collapse to the floor. Doesn’t take too long for Lynn to slot herself right next to me.

“You good, Judge?”

“Yeah... no, yeah, I’m fine.” Good, the nausea’s wearing off a little. “I figured I could pull some looney tunes bullshit if it was just one guy.” I stifle a laugh. “Didn’t think it was gonna spawn a whole ghost copy of his dick.”

“You weren’t expecting to clone a willy?” This silly bitch.

“Nah, wasn’t expecting a duplicock.” Her shit-eating grin cracks me up. We both have a reasonable chuckle over the whole thing, exchanging a couple more puns as the moment fades to a comfortable silence.

As comfortable as I can get with this whole... whatever this situation was.

“Am I in a coma?”

Lynn blinks. I repeat the question.

“No, and I think I’d be honest with you about that kind of thing.”

“Fair, I guess. Hard for me to believe something like this is actually happening, though.”

“Oh, this is definitely real for us. Very obviously, too!” She pauses for a moment of thought, her face going on a journey. “It’s hard to put into words, but it should be clear by the time we get to the top floor.”

“Great.” I take a deep breath, running a hand through my hair. “You think there’s anything for me to go back to?”

“What do you think will be there?”
It takes me a minute to remember any relevant in-game lore. “Well... I’d be able to leave through my front door, I’m guessing. But I wouldn’t have a place to come back to, if I didn’t seal the Fountain. Then again, with how many anons are here with the same Fountain, who knows if there aren’t any more that need to be sealed?”

“So close, yet so far. Again, I think it’ll speak for itself the further up we get.”

“Well,” I say, propping against the wall to stand, “Let’s go see for ourselves.” She nods, standing up effortlessly, and I’m once again following her lead back into the grid of one-story hallways and cells ahead.

Doesn’t take long for us to find the exit door. Lynn gestures for me to open it, with an ‘After you!’ for emphasis. Doing so reveals a boring set of emergency steps against darker stone brick. Eh, as long as it doesn’t break under us.

It takes me a few steps before I notice the Fatsimile staring me down from the top of the flight. It stares at me hungrily, whetting its lips in anticipation.

Doesn’t compare to the thing looming behind it, though.

next chapter

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Pub: 20 Aug 2025 14:18 UTC

Edit: 22 Aug 2025 07:43 UTC

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