⠀⠀⠀⠀O6 . O7 . 2O26 ⠀⠀⠀⠀<3

hai .. this is lovemail for my best friend & partner who i love so much. this is a bit of a birthday present ( started O6.2O.26 ) when the idea came to me, regrettably a day only before their birthday. idfk who else would be reading this besides you, Geno, but I plan to periodically update this with notes / messages etc. it is a sign of my devotion to you, in one of the few ways i know how to show.

alongside this is a playlist ; songs that remind me of you, my love for you, our relationship ... everything. the playlist was initially all i was going to give you since i was at a loss of what to do for a while ― but an idea struck me, and i knew how to make this an even better present. the playlist will be occassionally updated in the future as well when i come across more songs.

you are the sun to my moon ; the stars to my sky, and every beautiful thing in the ocean to me. i adore you more than anything or any word could properly encapsulate ; with all my fancy words, i can still never express just how much you mean to me, but i still need to get it out somehow, if not directly to your face.

i love you, my most dearest sunstone ♡

𓊆⠀O6 . 2O . 26⠀𓊇

hello my love.. and happy brithday, when this is sent to you.

being with you still feels nothing short of a miracle, a dream ; one that i never hope to wake up from. i find it hard to believe that someone so endlessly beautiful in all ways, from your personality, to your soul, your eyes, your features, your outlook in life ― in how you help others, in how you love me, could ever return my affections. i do not mean it in a way that i don't think i deserve it ― though i won't lie and say it's not something i don't believe. you're too good for me, i sincerely think so, but i know why i think so. but, i mean it in the sense that it feels so surreal, it's a feeling, being loved by you, that i thought would only exist in my fantasies.

regardless of whether or not i think i deserve you, i will never drive you away and i will love you with all my heart as you've done for me. i am so glad, and proud of myself for taking that chance ― swallowing my anxieties, my fears, and confessed. it hasn't been very long and you've already been the most perfect partner i could ask for ; you are so, so so understanding of all my worries, fears, and you love me even through the worst, the ugly parts i am so fearful to show you. i would always do the same for you, but since our worries are similar ― you understand the most, how hard it is to trust someone to that degree, which is why i'm also honored that you trust me enough, and have faith in me, to love you during your worst as well.

i'm also sure that since you know of nearly of all of my past relationships, that i have so many reasons to be afraid ― but when i am with you, in the moment, when i'm not in over my head, i feel so safe and secure with you. you give me that feeling, just by being you. i don't have any reason to be afraid, and i'm comfortable going to you for reassurance ; i truly love that a conversation with you, no matter how hevy it is, i know we'll be alright in the end. like we've always been, we'll always be okay together.

sometimes i ponder and regret things from the past ; how i treated you, how little i said, i always felt like i should've done more for you and then i still somehow never did it, but who cares? i know better now, and i aim to treat you as best as i can, you're worth it. you're worth everything i can give to you, my heart, my love, my soul, my dignity, my honor, my life, my pride ... anything you'd ask. i know you'd never ask for anything but my heart and my love. but, i'd still give you everything ; the world if you wanted it, if i knew how to give you it.

Geno, i love you so much, too much, for ever and ever beyond the stars, the sky, our idea of infinity ; i love you for as long as you'd allow me to show it, and even longer beyond that. i want to live my life with you, grow old with you, as your best friend, as your partner ― it doesn't matter to me, so long as you're in my life forevermore, as you've always been. i hope i can show you that. thank you for being you. i love you. ♡

𓊆⠀O6 . 25 . 26⠀𓊇

hi, my love. my sweetheart, my sunstone.

i love you so much. i'm not sure what to say this time around that isn't just going to be a total repeat.. but by God do i love you. making actual plans to see you one day puts a lot of hope in my heart, that one day i'll be able to visit. ♡ i can't wait for it. to see you, to hold you, to love you in person just as i have from across the country through the screen.

i mean it when i say i have passionately fallen for you, and i do so by the second, every time we're together.

𓊆⠀O6 . 29 . 26⠀𓊇

hi...

i know the last entry was short, but really these aren't going to be huge paragraphs of things to give you all the time. i might be a writer and poetic, but i can't manage that every time. it's more like little notes to write to you without actually giving them to you, just to talk about how much i love you. though my love for you is endless and can't be expressed properly no matter the length of my texts, i come here every time i love you too much to mention to you and feel too shy to express it to you. and all the small things of course, so i can express myself to you at your own pace. this i also a place to remind you how much and how often i think about you, how often i acknowledge how deeply in love with you i am.

i really do love my best friend, and that would be you! you're so sweet, i can't get over it. you remind me of one of my favorite desserts, flan. i love flan. i don't know why you remind me of it, but you do.

flan pic :D

it always surprise me just how fast you're willing to help me when i need you; when you picked up your phone after that nightmare i had, it meant so much to me. so, so much to me that you picked up and let me cry to you and then stay up with me a little because i needed it. i was nervous to even wake you up because i knew you had work ― but it meant a lot to me. thank you.

i genuinely can't wait to see you when we both have the money. it excites me a lot, more than i can express. it makes my heart flutter when i think about being able to hold your hand, cuddle, play with your hair, sleep together, wake up to your face, or just go out together. even just being able to play games in your presence excites me... even if we'd both be a bit limited by what we can play because i'm too scared to bring my laptop on a plane. ipad games ftw...?

ah, but sometimes i think about telling you when there's a new update here, but i get too shy thinking about telling you. it feels better for you to just find out, i guess... it makes me happy knowing you read this, though admittedly i don't know when you check this, i don't know how often. uhm. i wish it was easier for me to find songs to add to that playlist too, i feel like i don't know enough niche songs to add that fully express my love for you, and i want to add more niche songs to it. i think that's a rather silly worry of mine, but i also want you tto discover songs through me, like i have with you... "right now", "i knead you", "anchient rome", and "hey," are all songs you introduced us to. thank you for giving those songs to us <3

this is it for now, but i promise i'll be back some other date. i love you so, so, so much. my geno <3
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