/tcgia/ Decks for Beginners and Terminals

Not those terminals, fucking jonger https://dulst.com/pcgia

  1. /tcgia/ Decks for Beginners and Terminals
  2. Introduction
  3. Decks: Card Pack 15 Patch
  4. Decks: Card Pack 14 Patch
    1. Bees, Fish & Mold
    2. Moderately-Exciting Midrange
    3. Switcharoo Everything
    4. Anire Resurrection
    5. Shiina Stacks
    6. Classic Control
    7. Defense Ramp
  5. Decks: Card Pack 13 Patch
    1. Hostage Situation Aggro
    2. Ninja Breaker (Taimanin) Aggro
    3. Breaking Bad Rie Combo
    4. Bump Limit Swarm
    5. "Concha Tu Madre" (?)
    6. Remilia Necrophilia Tempo
    7. Wide Nasa Bees, Tall Sad Cats - Midrange
    8. XIII Burn
    9. Bean Debut
    10. Basically-that-one-pic-in-which-Dizzy-breastfeeds-Yuri-but-Yuri-is-just-helping-Dizzy-live-out-her-DigiFarm-fantasies Control
    11. Jurassic Ramp
    12. Lemon Stealing Control
    13. Big Yap Control
    14. Bloons Mill
  6. Decks: Card Pack 12 Patch
    1. Duplicate Aggro
    2. Corn Dog Aggro
    3. Updated Nasa Cat Aggro
    4. Burn & Heal Yap
    5. Wide Cats Nyaggro
    6. Updated Pikmin Combo
    7. Silence is D'oro
    8. Jelly Draw Combo
    9. Emburgers Chain Midrange
    10. Comedy Tempo
    11. Ashelia Reanimator
    12. Bots & Burgers Never Die
    13. Feline Mid-Range Surprise
    14. Erina Gang Otsu Control(-ish)
    15. Infinite Value Control. Code Name: "Grindr"
    16. Yet Another Pansexual Value-oriented Midrange
    17. Puss & Buff Taunts
    18. Macho Exodia Combo
    19. Updated Monkey Mill
    20. Control. Just Control
    21. Updated Big Girls Control (Heal Slut Version)
  7. Decks: Card Pack 11 Patch
    1. Doggo Aggro
    2. Fair Aggro
    3. Duplication Zoo
    4. Airi Power
    5. Switcharoo Combo
    6. Boring Midrange
    7. Yap Midrange
    8. Nasa Cat Midrange/Aggro
    9. Demon Lord Combo
    10. Yap Jellumi Combo
    11. Monkey Mill XD
    12. Super Ego Control
    13. Mill Exodia Control
  8. Decks: Card Pack 10 Patch
    1. Wide Face Aggro
    2. Hot Dog Tempo Ramp
    3. Never Trust Reanimators Combo
    4. Big Girls Control
  9. Decks: Card Pack 9 Patch
    1. Hime Ninja Combo
    2. Burn
    3. Pikmin Combo
    4. Dizzler Reanimator
    5. ShiinaBot Otsu Control
  10. Acknowledgements

Introduction

Unless you got lost while looking for https://rentry.co/pcgia-dicks, you probably know what you're in for: a list of competitive /tcgia/ decks to either shamelessly copy, draw inspiration from, or blame for your many losses. The decks are organized chronologically (and, secondarily, by deck type), partly to chart the game's evolution and partly in accordance with the Principle of Least Action in dynamics - a concept anyone too lazy to build their own deck should be quite familiar with. Revisiting old archetypes after a few patches can be surprisingly satisfying; perhaps even worth triggering a few PTSD episodes over. This list is by no means exhaustive, but it does cover each core playstyle. What you won’t find here is a classification of cards' usefulness by deck type. That said, it shouldn’t be too hard to reverse-engineer one from the decks provided.

Looks like a new patch. What’s that? Your d*ck is broken? Well, I’ve got one for you. Pay attention . In other words, when a new patch comes out, there will be an intentional delay (a few days/1 week) in listing new decks here to encourage critical thought, allow for empirical tests, and reinforce deck-builders' ego. It's not like old decks are entirely obsolete, and (you)r lists are precious, no matter the results.
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Decks: Card Pack 15 Patch

Patch is out. Go and try it out.
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Decks: Card Pack 14 Patch

Bees, Fish & Mold

 Bees, Fish & Mold: list  Bees, Fish & Mold 2: list  Jellology: list

Deck Archetype: Zoo Aggro/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 't depends.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, a certain individual who has been kissing white boys since 2004 and self-inserts as Alice’s white rabbit (Indexknight).
How to play? Some archetypes may die, but they can never be buried – or so they say from Buckinghamshire to Wiltshire. Zoo Aggro is such a specimen, for better or worse. A remastered version of Jelly’s least vulgar release (Where This Jelly Bloons), this deck takes on the role of an aircraft carrier armed with Shiina Bees high on divine wind, grooming water and cocaine – primed to super-helldive into the nearest baiter to feed the Mold Machine. Gone are the Beehives and Doremus, replaced by a squadron of low-curve aggro threats (Pafu, Rie, Wemis, and Cats) that apply immediate, relentless pressure on opponents. Rie and Michi Cat double as makeshift Flower Boy-fetchers, adding a touch of consistency to a bee-fish-mold trifecta that would otherwise have to be divined by the Fates, or the dev's cheat codes. The deck can flounder if Jelly doesn’t Bloon, so you might want to reroll aggressively. As usual, Sakana's role is to play Honey Select and keep the board sticky, now comboing with Bito Breaker (besides Fish Launcher) for unexpected takedowns. Contrary to first impressions, the deck boasts more removal options than one might assume – especially the alternate lists, which lean slightly more towards midrange than pure aggro. The list on the right actually does away with fishes (both launched and Sakana) to focus on molding, with Scientist Jelly flexing as Mary Shelley, and the classic Remi Car/Squibby Queen complement.
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Moderately-Exciting Midrange

 Boring Midrange Pack 14 Edition: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Oshiless.
How to play? It's Boring Midrange. Pack 14 Edition. Boring, right? WRONG. This version of the deck should get your heart rate to a... normal level. You're still playing cards that are individually good but you also have some new synergies: namely Adviser Yuri into Alice for a ton of early pressure and Adviser Yuri into Runie to protect your board or if you need emergency taunts.
...
That's it. The deck is just solid. You have Jelly to draw some jards when you're running out of gas or when you don't want to overextend. You have the classic and improved Iori + Aiko combo. Iori is also a good comeback tool (since you usually won't lose the board hard which means you can afford to play her without dying the following turn) and good against the meta-defining Defense cards, doubly so if she's kept alive by my gf Aiko or buffs. And of course, if the point of the deck is running the best cards, you will want Dumb Kani Juice and Lumi Train.
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Switcharoo Everything

 Trickery and Witchcraft: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Midrange/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2dmg? Yes? No? Maybe? I don't know. Can you repeat the question?
Mandatory Oshis: 8ball.
How to play? The title should be self-explanatory. It isn’t. In fact, checking the list might leave you looking like the Bride of Frankenstein's monster right after entering the blind hermit's hut (meowing for no reason), as the deck lacks the glaring attack/health gaps that defined its ancient predecessor. Your own deck doesn’t exactly offer prime swap targets: 2 Sleeping Dogs, whatever 2 Fish Launchers manage to land in/on, and 1 Aiko. If you’re feeling generous, you could count Lumi Train and the occasional Dumb Kani Juice sipper, to abuse defence. Likewise, with only 2 copies of Paper Shiina to go wide, switch-and-kill strategies become much less effective – though 1 Nikki, 2 Airis and 2 Ebers can still put in some work. So, why does this work? Well, ya got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense... Until you realize that it’s just a solid midrange with a few tricks to squeeze out unexpected damage and effective witchy finishers, which is a good recipe for success. Plus, Anomaly has progressively gotten better as an utility card, thanks to its ability to deal with the abundance of untargetable torture devices blasting Neko Arc AI covers on loop.
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Anire Resurrection

 Anire Resurrection: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Erina, Jelly.
How to play? Anire has a fairly decent effect that triggers at 1 health remaining, once per life. Muumi resurrects cards with 1 health. Healing and buffs naturally go well together (assuming your opponent's deck isn't packing silences), and cloning (Jelly is You) resurrected, shielded, fully healed Anires is a surefire recipe for success, albeit an expensive one. Firebugs are a bit of a wild card since the list runs plenty of 2-damage triggers; however, they contribute more to early board presence than Kindlings, and the deck already has turn 1 drops in the form of Machinists, so there’s that. Even an amalgamation of humanity’s confabulations resting on distributional semantics and circularly validated by echo chamber-dwelling primates should have seen where this was going. Indeed, Chat GPT did (kinda – it got fixated on "recursion" and wanted to call the deck "One Night Last Stand"); and yet here you are, reading this guide. Stop wasting time and Q.
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Shiina Stacks

 Shiina Stacks: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor or 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Yuri.
How to play? Utilize clever game mechanics – tributing the dev in the process. In this deck's case, the fact that cloning a card makes temporary stats permanent and that causes aura effects to be recalculated) to make Shiina as big as possible. But try to exhaust your opponent's answers first because even though this deck has tons of removal and a bunch of buffs and can use them multiple times with Sakana and Scientist Jelly, it has very few dedicated threats. If you fail to architect Shiina you can still win on the back of a self-silence swing turn or cloning some card turned immortal by Dumb Kani Juice.
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Classic Control

 Classic Control: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Yuri, Ember, Panko.
How to play? This is a classic control deck, and, just like any classic control deck, it is the result of a makeshift Montecarlo simulation involving systematic violations of the Workforce Recruitment Program for College Students with Disabilities. You do not play it to test your skills; you do not play it to have fun; you do not play it to win; you play to see whether the results are corroborated by yet another run or as part of a master-servant training regimen – priming your skirt-wearing opponent to always ask for permission and meekly accept denial. The new entry, Lumi Monorail, acts as the conductor of the deck and mid-game, presenting the opponent with painful riddles and making it surprisingly easy for delayed ejaculation patients to find comfort after God's death. With the inclusion of the neko package, this iteration of the archetype has a much more pronounced board presence, making it easier to keep removals in hand until the time is right. If you really want to be the junter, not the junted, the sexual predator, not the prey, you could fit randoserus and 1 Hunting Lepr in the list to make it even more cagey; however, some lines just aren’t meant to be crossed, if you ask me.
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Defense Ramp

 Defense Ramp: list

Deck Archetype: Ramp/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri.
How to play? Defense is super effective against lists that prefer going wide rather than tall, as well as against soft removal (quantified damage). And the more you have, the better it gets: once you have exhausted opponents' answers, and their wit, your Kataphrakts have free reign over the board. With another iron daemon (Lumi Train) choo-chooing its way into the game, Dumb Kani Juice being legalized, simp-hood being downplayed as a temporary clinical condition as part of DOGE’s new reforms, and hard removals being chastised in patch 14, it should come as no surprise that defense has never been this strong. As such, it makes perfect sense to leverage the newly improved manna-summoning dance mechanics to fast-track into a technological victory, multi-track drifting past all ethical concerns and the first few turns by appealing to all sorts of Yuri cards. Aiko and Nikki ensure that your neotanks triumph over any (6-drop, cost-effective midrange) kaiju in their path, crossing another potential challenger off the list. The paragon solid deck overall.

Note that 'mana' is an archaic form of 'manna', supporting the thematical and etymological superiority of bread over coins. Yet another reason to prefer tcgia over its competitors.
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Decks: Card Pack 13 Patch

Hostage Situation Aggro

 https://files.catbox.moe/92i38r.mp3 : (not) liszt

Deck Archetype: Aggroest.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Kibawoo - Knight of Endings.
How to play? A refined transcendental étude on high-grade astrocytomas of screams and silences, orchestrated for the virtuoso Scaramouche (not the twink kind) of mackarel slapping. First bar: pretend to be mostly harmless by dropping some cute chubby sleeping-plushies (Sleeping Airi Dog, Remi Plush) dancing on rainbows, setting the stage for a classic French overture (not the escargot kind). For your second act, either have your allegro bito (TL note: "allegro" means "gay") launch into a rapid crescendo – in the hope of a fuga, or drop the bass with a classic Fish Launcher into Hostage legato, going from zero to hero (FGO) Hercules-style. The symphony of destruction doesn’t need complicated movements: buff your ensemble, then swing face fortissimo. Naturally, Neko Chibi Wemi is there for the damage(d) coda. If everything andante well, this chromatic (mostly pink, white and light-blue) toccata will transform your opponent into the corpse bride you’ve always dreamed of duetting con amore with by Turn 5; if not, you'll be strapped to a minimoo and dragged naked around Offkai's perimeter until the game is done as punishment for your attempted affair, à la Byron's Mazeppa.
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Ninja Breaker (Taimanin) Aggro

So damn aggro: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro. Very Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Oshi? No need for them. Just go face.
How to play? If you watched Digimon as a lonely teen -or as a lonely adult under the crushing weight of Dizzy's tits' pressure- you already know it’s a short hop from coomer to vicious crackhead (fuck me, da gan). With this deck, a spiritual successor to Doggo Aggro, you can skip the first self-indulgent step entirely. In fact, you can pretty much skip everything, including actually playing the game. Bito Breaker is dormant serial killers' new favorite card, whose flexibility in the deck is completely lost to gentlemen hitting only above the choker. The device can more or less be safely dropped on the board at any time (Anomaly does exist tho), setting up devastating value spikes in later turns. And while Hime needed Ringodachis to keep her out of harm’s way, Lumitchi and Iori can naturally sing the Rasmus by heart, watching, waiting, in the shadows, for their time. Still, pumping Hime with buffs delivers the kind of plays capable of retroactively inhibit Mullerian duct regression in your opponent, transforming them into full-fledged /pcgia/ denizens: three Bito Breakers and three Himebitos onto a single Hime isn’t just unethical 18+ content – it’s 28 damages done dirt cheap. That said, if you don't want to wayfarer jump your way into the eunuch job class, you'd better mulligan well, smorc pharaoh. Likewise, trading is basically not an option, so you need to secure an early advantage, or hope that your opponent doesn't respect your taimanins. As such, you’d be wise to keep your blood flow focused away from your genitals, at least for the first few turns. One way or the other, you'll be done in 3 minutes, anyway.
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Breaking Bad Rie Combo

Fun & Interactive: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Satan.
How to play? A cursed hybrid between Hostage Aggro and Elusive Aggro, this list zeroes in on one-turn-KO (or close enough) combos revolving around Rie. The plan is simple: play Rie, buff her, immediately Ringodachi her, pass, buff her again, and send your opponent to the Shadow Realm. Essentially, it's Hime Ninja but better. I hate this. Everyone should hate this. Sure, staring at Hime’s overbuffed assets might be fun every now and then, but this deck is like playing Russian roulette against your split personalities – with the added malus that someone else is also having a terrible time. Compared to the other variants in this patch, the only noteworthy aspect is the inclusion of 3 copies of Harlots, a surprisingly practical tool for board control while you prepare your cancerous combo.
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Bump Limit Swarm

Triumphant Swarm: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Shiina if you want to run Where This Jelly Bloons.
How to play? Triggering Triumphant Pankophile's effect feels better than sex. Not that I would know what sex is like. Anyways, with the addition of Bito Breaker it's finally Triumphant Pankophile's time to shine. Make the board artificially smaller by only activating your Bito Breakers once and keeping them around, spam a bunch of sticky minions that generate even more minions and then trigger the bump limit. Very few decks can deal with a combination of tokens plus a 7/7 by turn 4 or 5, and if you drop Triumpanks back to back or even two at the same time turn 6 the situation will be incredibly grim for your opponent. After you drop your Triumpanks or if you're in a pinch you can activate your Bito Breakers and free up board space for Bard Lumi + Paper Shiina shenanigans. You'd think this deck loses hard to AoE but with so many sticky or plain uninteractible cards on the board that's not really the case most of the time. Your opponent usually won't be able to interrupt your plan unless they're running certain anomalous cards. But even if they can't interrupt it, that doesn't mean they can't prepare for it.
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"Concha Tu Madre" (?)

Mexican Tempo: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Hime, Tu Madre, Fat-bottomed bricks hurled at your window by a passerby who is definitely not a /tcgia/ player fed up with your bullshit.
How to play? The list favored by Oda Nobunaga and every wooden sword-wielding Shonen Jump protagonist. Remi Plush and Michi Cat are your sticky, handicapping weapons/conscript peasants,and Bito Breaker provides the SOVL/gunpowder (most likely hashish) to transform your unassuming 1/1s into something deadlier than a katana folded as meticulously as a spiny lobster origami, reminding everyone that Conan's Riddle of Steel might not be just a sexual innuendo. Regardless of your preferred theory of value, this combo almost always trades up, mostly because it can hardly trade down due to how cheap it is. Your second wave of infantry -Rie/Nurse Shiina’s Pafus, Elaine, and One Raccoon- sets up the preconditions to maximize the impact of Manko and Bard Lumi, who steps into the role of commanding general through the power of friendship, just like Kerrigan. the Wanderer helps you navigate through taunts and deal with threatening effects, while Buff Airi Dog offers both protection and buffs to your Bito-Broken damage dealers. Neko Chibi Wemi and Hime Cube are perfect for cinematic endings, where you defy all odds with a dramatic final click and "gg ez". And then there’s Lumi, fresh from her extended Death Becomes Her remake break (which occupied her from patch 4 to 12.5): her role is standing there menacingly as a yappy 5/5, costing 5, and being the 5th card needed to trigger the related oshi effect (making it abundantly clear that “5” is her Chaos God number of choice, though one might have expected it to be "9"). Lastly, a single Alice has been included as an apotropaic device. Facing this list might feel like roleplaying as Frieza, or reliving The Last Samurai, but with the help of Makinists, Healbers, wonderland kiddos, and flute players, you can definitely conquer this survival horror. Throwing bricks at the players is always an option too.
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Remilia Necrophilia Tempo

Remilia Necrophilia Tempo: list Remilia Necrophilia Yumi: list

Deck Archetype: Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Hime, Wemi, high priest Imhotep (left); Panko, Lumi Yuri.
How to play? Behold: a devious deck that wields the powers of darkness and light to triumph over the grim reaper, progressively filling the board with death – your board, with increasingly powerful undeads acting as a reminder that "bandage" and "bondage" are only one vowel apart; their board, with the kind of Nothing which no Aleister Crowley's novel title-drop could banish. To kick off the Danse Macabre, Bito Break your Sleeping Airi Dogs awake oppa-Kafka (Strafkolonie) style; then, with poetic symmetry, have Hime draw King Tuooooooooht’s dagger to summon broken bitos (Pafu). You have some AOE (Alice) and single target (Beeko) removal at your disposal, but you'll want to get your Halloween Panko, and some other raccoons (more than one, preferably), on the board ASAP. While in other lists Halloween Panko might be just as reliable as Brave's image search, with this deck you'll have no issues imprinting her with Halloween Remilia, setting up the stage for large scale, high impact (4 attack plus) live embalming. Alternatively, you can just summon your skimpily dressed child mummy directly, and use Bito Breaker and Stimulant Provider to make every new gen deadlier than the one before. Remember, though, that those cards aren’t just Remilia-boosters – making full use of their versatility will greatly improve your chances. Victory typically comes from preventing your opponent from fully clearing your zombie horde (once again, Bito Breaker and Sleeping Airi Dog help you with that), making The NeverEnding Story cute and funny again; however, as long as you've got something to swing face with (careful with those attack orders, Eugene), you are still in the game: the deck sports surprising burst damage potential, even without its core pieces. Finally, the 2 Embers are in there to throw off Lia-loliconcons and your own, personal FBI agent. The right-hand list trades a bit of speed and dog-day shenanigans for some comfy value engines (Beehive, Squibby Queen, Elaine), Nile river flooding style. Bard Lumi slots perfectly into this new architecture, with Yuri&Lumi taking onto the role of the pyramidion.
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Wide Nasa Bees, Tall Sad Cats - Midrange

WNB, TSC: list More, Taller Cats: list

Deck Archetype: Zoo Mid-range.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Hime, Sad Bee forma de The Others chico con el fantasma de la hermana G-cup nee-nee (left); just Lumi (right).
How to play?Spam 1/1s (Remi Plush, Pafu, Michi Cat, Nasa Cats, Elaine, Paper Shiina, Hagneko), buff them (Sad Bee, Bard Lumi, Alpha Nasa Cat), multiply your cheerleaders (Paper Shiina), and defend them (Smug Wemi, Royal Knight). That’s the gist of it. Aside from that, Rie and Nurse Shiina thrive on buffs and help you get your Pafus on the board, while Hime Cube is perfect for closing games. The deck has minimal control tools, struggles when playing from behind overall (having basically no immediate interactive tools), and is particularly vulnerable to Yuri board wipes. However, you’ll find yourself in a position to rebuild quickly and continue trading until you seize full control of the battlefield more often than not. Given the limited number of cats in the deck, don’t expect Hagneko to come online quickly. Be patient when deploying your Sad Bees and Bard Lumis – extracting value from them is you wincon. The version on the right gives up on the Pafu package to for more cats; as such, it is strictly superior. Uruka is fine too.
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XIII Burn

Bad Luck delivery: list

Deck Archetype: Slow Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi, Ember, Train Heartnet, a Porcupine Tree – whatever that might be.
How to play? Not any different from any other burn deck in this rentry. Cutting to the chase, you really want Smug Wemis to deal with Bito Breaker decks, and Nikki to curb Halloween stuff and other flavors of cancer. God can basically win some match-ups on its own, so it's a nice addition in a list which is a bit slower than usual. Having abused my military-grade recommendation system integrating content-based and collaborative filtering, I know that burn-deck players will likely enjoy this one too. In short, if you see anyone playing this deck, eradicate them, for the greater good.
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Bean Debut

Bean: list

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Yuri, Beans, Crocs.
How to play? I'll tell you all the truth (but tell it slant). Ever since its release (Pack 6: it has been a while), Soldier Airi Bean has been the kind of passive, egotistical, self-flagellating card desperate to be picked without so much as lifting its fingerless hand or murmuring a haunting bedtime tune. And the one time it dropped the trench wife act? It ascended to infamy as the linchpin of the most abhorrent, soul-crushing combo deck to ever defile /tcgia/. A cursed existence, to put it bluntly – straight out of a grimdark fantasy penned by a repressed PhD in mathematics, burdened with a disabled child, holding secret-level clearance with both the US and UK governments, and despising crows for no apparent reason. Now, after a transorbital lobotomy (curing its premature ejaculation at the price of its license to kill... players), Soldier Airi Bean is back to deflower unsuspecting 2/3-drops with the aid of Bito Breaker (which can either buff it directly or trigger the effect with a +1 damage bonus). Again, more or less every card in the deck can pull the devil trigger: Paper Shiina can either DeLorean the opponent to The Third of May 1808 or take a memento of the victim; Yappy cards buff your Щелкунчик while allowing you to play the deck as a classic burn archetype, running two copies of Yuri and one Lumi & Yuri for good measure. Overall, this list shines at board control and steamrolls decks lacking effective hand removal. However, when the board is well-jannied, Soldier Airi Bean and Bito Breaker are left awkwardly waiting for a post, or to be pegged. Abuse of that if you are having issues with this deck.
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Basically-that-one-pic-in-which-Dizzy-breastfeeds-Yuri-but-Yuri-is-just-helping-Dizzy-live-out-her-DigiFarm-fantasies Control

Bean: list

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy, an afk opponent.
How to play? Through the divine intervention of NordVPN -our lord, savior, master, suntiang-wearing-mandate-of-heaven-wielding hypostasis of financial support- we interrupt this re-broadcast of the BBC's documentary on /pcgia/'s wildlife to bring you the long-awaited sequel to super ego control, now enhanced to silence the entire repertoire of snow leopard vocalizations (with 2 Hostages, 2 Wanderers, 1 Lepr), including prusten – a sound made by members of the Felidae family, Lemoine Affair fanboys and menheras, if they don’t fucking hate your guts, which, is basically never. Silencing the Hyakki Yagyō of Christmas Pasts can help you keep it together until you’re ready to serve your opponent a festive dose of epididymal hypertension (Woe to you, o’er Earth and Sea), courtesy of Chef Dizzy or one of the aforementioned silences. Just remember: those very silences can be more useful targeting opponent's threats or even Anire, should she miraculously avoid getting zoroed the instant she lands on the board; so choose wisely whether to save one of your cubs from (Wuxi) finger holding, or let them join Panko Cat on maternity leave. Finally, Halloween Panko, Beehive, and Dizzymuku are in the mix to provide some extra unpleasant surprises for your opponent, all while trying to catch Dizzy’s attention with their hipster quirkiness. Don’t be afraid to experiment with other solutions.
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Jurassic Ramp

Jurassic Ramp: list

Deck Archetype: Ramp/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: depends.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly.
How to play? Tired of people vomiting cards on the board? Not me. I'm the one doing it. But if you are, this deck is for you. It absolutely obliterates decks that flood the board by running basically every AoE card. The Ham Cat combo seems to get better every patch due to its ability to deal with sticky and/or mid-sized boards. Maitake Dance and then start spamming AoE and play an Emberjho turn 5 or 6 and vore another one of their puny cards and further neuter the enemy board in the process. And then if they can't deal with your Emberjho you clone it and that's normally game over. The deck is anti-aggro but Kindlings allow it to also have a decent chance against midrange by allowing your AoE to also sweep larger cards along with the smaller ones. It doesn't have enough threats or inevitability to beat bigger or controlly decks, so you'll have to rely on unanswered early Emberjhos or dropping The Rippa + 2x Jelly Is You in a single turn to win.
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Lemon Stealing Control

Yoink: list Yellumuri: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Jelly, Yuri, Ember. That's a whole harem (both).
How to play? If you believe in metempsychosis, this deck is the reincarnation of Cross Ange. If you don’t, it’s a chaotic decoupage loosely stitched together around the theme of using your opponent's deck against them à la HS rogue. The adhesive holding it together? Time-tested classic card packages that have consistently proven their worth. And glue. Can't forget the glue. With not one but two copies of Lumi and a Jellumi, the core is undeniably slow 'n tardy. To compensate, the rest of the deck is designed to dictate a slow tempo for the game via an arsenal of soft and hard removals, alongside plenty of AoEs benefitting from yap. Ember, Healber, and Nikki provide a solid backbone, while the Yuri package offers the potential for massive board swings, with Yumi (Lumi + Yuri) doubling as a finisher by inducing Ga-Rei Zero PTSD. Thanks to the amount of late-game yap, Alice and Gumi remain relevant well into the match; meanwhile, Jelly is You adds another layer of thievery, synergizing nicely with Kindling + Ember or Nikki. As a deck centered on stealing, your strategy will often depend on what your opponent is playing. This demands a level of flexibility akin to catching airborne sushi mid-fall with your toes and feeding it straight into your partner’s agape mouth while sporting a full Ramlethal Valentine cosplay. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Anyway. In general, the most efficient way to play this deck is to be so high on yap that you directly contribute to Kessler syndrome. The list on the right sacrifices some flavor for win ratio.
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Big Yap Control

Big Lemon: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Erina, Jelly, Lumi, Yuri.
How to play? A fusion of the deck literally above this one and Big Girls Control. One of its main strengths is being able to play Tenmacho liberally and transitioning into FUCKMODE without worrying too much about fatigue (or making The Rippa unplayable) since you have Lumi and Yumi to add a surprisingly significant couple of cards to your deck. As is the norm with Yap-centric decks, your opponent will have a bad time the moment you manage to stick a yapper on the board (which isn't very hard considering how FAT Lumi is for how early she comes down, and how Jellumi and Yumi will usually swing the board in your favor the turn they're played). With Yap active, the deck has a surprising amount of burst (especially if you're a filthy purple power picker) and an honestly hilarious amount of healing after playing Koufukuron that ensures that if your cards aren't immediately removed, they'll probably be back to full HP at the end of your turn.
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Bloons Mill

Bloons Mill: list

Deck Archetype: Mill/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, bees & monkeys and yet no jello.
How to play? The Grendel-like, nerd progeny of patch 12.5's most successful control and mill decks, respectively – an ungodly chimera of monkeys, bees and hair removal. There’s really not much to say about this list that hasn’t already been said about its predecessors. You have every kind of control tool at your disposal, so use them wisely and avoid getting baited. If you prison-lock yourself with bees (Where this Jelly Bloons), you are a fool. Baka, Baka. it is also worth remembering that bees aren’t as good as comedic reliefs when it comes to tanking friendly fire. However, they are just as adept at dying for your sins – and significantly better at handling certain types of wide, -def aggros. Again, if you’re into this kind of passive-aggressive control gameplay, it’s safe to assume you find conceptual priming more intimate than sex, and your favorite sport is cackling at your watch as it ticks down the number of cards in your opponent’s deck. As such, your only hope of reproducing involves being raped by an exasperated aggro player while you’re lost in masturbatory musings about the solitude of prime numbers, which might be taken as you implying that your sad self and your putative love interest are abstract entities or something along those lines.
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Decks: Card Pack 12 Patch

Duplicate Aggro

NOT THE BEEEEEES: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Remi, Sad Bee.
How to play? The latest version of Duplication Zoo: ensuring bees' sadness by making them homeless. The /tcgia/ equivalent of "pray and spray", in which your patron god is a nephilim living life on hardcore mode, your unreliable Tommy gun sounds like a flock of vuvuzelas (thanks, Armscor), and your opponent has been, or will soon be, possessed by Nicolas Cage. There is little subtlety in this list – just raw aggression: overwhelm your opponent with a relentless barrage of high-attack, low-health cards, banking on their inability to clear the board fast enough, and their limited patience for bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz Kenshiro references; if the preconditions are met, have Sakana proc a buffed card's Kage Bunshin No Jutsu, and watch in empirical delight the relationship between pressure and temperature take effect as your opponent is cooked. Doremu, Jelly Bito, and Idol Remilia handle attack buffs, while Fish Launcher, and sometimes Remilia (when she isn't on cute-aggression duty), keep key pieces in the fight. Remi Car is there to provide cover for your offensive, and Mini Mold can pivot the board from wide to tall, realizing the dream of most Reddit users. Reroll aggressively for Doremus and prime buff targets, and don’t forget to record your opponent’s bewildered reactions at your ability to keep going for your Tinder profile.
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Corn Dog Aggro

Corn Dog Aggro: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: NSAIDs and copious amounts of caffeine.
How to play? Laying in ambush between Doggo Aggro and Hot Dog Ramp, with all the subtlety of Tyler1 channeling his inner scene tree (a bonsai, specifically) because he didn’t get to play Puck, despite his deep spiritual connection to every Neil Perry. You can only play this deck if it is one of those days, when Airi Dog doesn't wanna wake up – you drew no turn 1 Plushie and Fish Launcher won't let you smash. So, toss everything gay, soft, and fluffy (that is, Pafus, and even Yuuna) out the window, and show your opponent why both Khorne and Makima favor hounds and office-lady attire. Ignore all that trading/taunting bullshit, and prove that you can do better than Russell Mulcahy, working with a budget crippled by Argentina's hyperinflation, as you vore corn dogs like a rule 63 Kurgan employed by the Pon Family prepping for the Sacrament of Penance. Great Pon Wolf Airi’s milk is reserved for her finest Airiheads, and you’ve got no time (or mana) to waste on insurance if you want some eggs to go with it. So scream it loud: PON FOR THE PON GOD; SLIMES FOR THE HAG THRONE. And remember to always believe in the heart of the cards, and bring a chainsaw. WHAT?!

Important medical note. Among the symptoms of sleep deprivation for Airi Dogs: increased appetite for meat, biotype-5 depressive cyclothymia, a spike in slurs-per-minute, and eventually the transformation into an Aldous Huxley-Neil Young-Senator Armstrong cerberus-like chimera with an oddly specific fixation on Manitoba wheat in relation to grain dust explosions and sperm membranes' WGA receptors.
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Updated Nasa Cat Aggro

Nasa Cat Aggro: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Jelly, Panko, the polite yet hard-to-pin-down cat lady who is whispering a nursery rhyme encoding tactical missiles launch codes, which might or might not be Lumi.
How to play? A more consistent take on Nasa Cat Aggro featuring the triad Panko, Beeko, Manko (Panko Cat) instead of token Nasa Cats. In short, it trades some burst for more removal and staying power, provided that any list that fields both Panko and Rie is terrifying in the first 2-3 turns by default. This version is also less vulnerable to Alice-induced instant loss 2komas. While the list doesn’t boast as much (underage) pussy as Schrödinger might have preferred ("It is easier to live with a canary than with a colt. I prefer a colt" t. Sylphiette his cuck wife), Michi Cat will now likely fetch you that meow card you need. The Manko count remains high and the new entry combos well with Hagneko for unexpected VIP takedowns. You might want to throw in a copy of Hime Cube now and then, as a sort of Crazy Ivan, just to have your opponent develop schizophrenia.
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Burn & Heal Yap

Burn & Heal: list

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, improvisational theatre's applications in psychotherapy.
How to play? An updated take on Burn, this deck perfects the art of impromptu yapping. Relinquish your material possessions and the board, retreating into the masturbatory tower of hand solipsism. Prune your opponent's foolish ambitions with Fish Launcher and the Ember firing squad; and when the bonds that keep the wolf Fenrir shackled to her 9-to-5 (+ overtime) break loose, wear with pride the ragged cloak you made out of a fursuit stolen at your first con, unleash Yuri, and put them to rest. With 3 Makinists, 2 Hostess Embers, and the full set of single-target bounces, this deck can heal you for up to 34 life points – even without taking yapping into account; as such, time is on your side, though the list does struggle in junts involving monsters with more than 6 health. By the endgame, expect your life total graph to look like the emotional highs and lows of an unmedicated menhera listening to emo death metal on a Trainspotting-themed rollercoaster; but what’s important is that you’re getting that minimalistic victory screen imprinted on your retinas. Hostess Shiina can snowball hard, securing freebies against opponents unprepared for her wild riding rhythm; after a decise Yuri airstrike, the Ember armored division is more than capable of taking over the town like cowboys from hell; chip damage from your oshi power eventually adds up, especially when yapping is in the mix. You are a wizard, anon. Prove yourself and rise to become the next magister ludi.
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Wide Cats Nyaggro

Wide Cats Nyaggro: list Wide Cats & Bees: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Mid-range.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Remi (left); Lumi, Panko (right).
How to play? With the addition of Paper Shiina, pack 12 makes hybrid builds combining Wide Face Aggro and Nasa Cat Midrange/Aggro not only viable, but Rotten Tomato-approved. On one hand, the Nasa Cat block fixes one of Wide Face Aggro's core problems: lack of sustain; on the other hand, Remi Cars and Mini Molds bring much-needed removal and finishers to Nasa Cat builds – resulting in the best symbiotic relationship after that between Twilight yumejoshis and Bela Lugosi-wannabe theatre kids. Summoning a Paper shikigami of your Remi Car while Mini Molds are on the field? That’s a board-flipping move that only Hari Seldon fanboys and normodotated primates can see coming. And granting a marching band to your very own Uma Thurman's Dr. Pamela Isley morphs her into Nonon Jakuzure, turning your expendable chaff into a mojo-powered battalion of bane-posting Primaris Spice Marines (and Hagneko Lumi into the king of Gondor). The version on the right has a bit more removal in Beeko, though sacrificing Idol Remilia is like giving up hope.
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Updated Pikmin Combo

Pikmin Combo: list

Deck Archetype: Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or 2 health.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Jelly, Remi, the Mulligan Goddess (/draw card).
How to play? A fresh (kinda) version of Pikmin Combo that abuses origami mechanics, Yomiko Readman-style. Doremus have a prime target in Paper Shiina, who can now churn out some weird n/1 paper tigers. Naturally, Paper Shiina also pairs beautifully with Remi Car for removal. Sleeping Airi Dog is mainly there to add some early-game punch, but feel free to swap them (or Idol Remilia/Venerable Ember) for Fish Launchers or Remilias if you want to focus more on getting your Pikmin ready to play rollerball against Cthulhu while roleplaying as a natural triple-D Gandalf skimpily dressed as Sailor Jupiter. With this list, you can fill the board with them – who knows, maybe they'll break into an unreleased post-rock version of "Heigh-Ho" recorded by Eber herself. Maybe. You never know until you try. While you're at it, see if you can make Doremu & Paper Shiina work with Soldier Airi Bean. Consider it a bounty challenge, you nerd.
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Silence is D'oro

Silence: list

Deck Archetype: Combo/Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri, Airi, Jelly, Lumi, Simon, Garfunkel.
How to play? You pray – and leap. This deck is for those who savor seizing control of the conversation, bending silence and yapping to their will in non-Euclidean, explosive synergies. The Rule of Cool is a spouse as demanding as Ango Sakaguchi's cherries in full bloom, and you'll burn through your arsenal, and your sanity, faster than Adlet Mayer just to keep her pleased. Speak sense, anon, or not at all: bide your time, wait for the perfect opportunity (triggering on a natural 20 luck roll), and you’ll steal the show with your own Shichika Hachiretsu Kai of blood and dazzling blossoms: damage from hand (Yuri, I love You), silence (Wanderer, Hostage), twin-linked power (Venerable Airi), free power (Strip Club Airi), yapping (Airi, Jellumi), direct damage (Gumi, Neko Chibi Wemi), and bounce (Starknight); that is the order (the order may change: sometimes silence is useful in its own right, even if it isn't used to prevent Yuri's graduation cum eventual revenge, and you might want to bounce your removals more often than not). With Lumidoro, the Brotherhood’s foremost pupil as a... decoy, and Jelly as your informer, you’re ready to either assassinate your target while Teardrop plays softly in the background, little Hinas flitting around in cinematic slow motion, or to reenact the iconic swordplay scene from Indiana Jones – paying homage to the Arabic origins of “speech is silver, silence is golden” one way or another.
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Jelly Draw Combo

Jelly Draw Combo: list

Deck Archetype: Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Panko.
How to play? It happened again. Instead of waking up to your oshi giving you a sweet lap pillow, you find yourself surrounded by a horde of low-cost creatures, perched atop a pile of rubble – where you landed after a Gen-Z hipster, cosplaying as Che Guevara, hurled some Gura-themed, "Cómo Te Voy A Olvidar"-blasting, LED-adorned bolas at you. Your only chance of avoiding extinction? Playing it by Bangkok rules. No, no happy endings: nobody draws until the bean plushies leave the warehouse. While everyone else is foolishly glued to their phones, you draw (Rie + Pafus), draw (Michi Cat), draw (Jelly), draw (Jerry), draw (Plankina), and when the field is clear, you drop the Rippa (Jelly the Ripper). Not once, not twice (maybe twice, if you want to hide them with Ringodachi), but thrice (Jelly is You). The list's got a nice low mana-curve, letting you fight for board control while you kansei drifto your way through your deck like it's work mail. You’ve got some hard removal (Beeko) and delays (Kyoufuu Allback) to handle the most dangerous threats, but be wary of AOEs. Soon enough, you'll understand that the fate of your games hinges on how skillfully you handle your Panko Cats – which, for whatever reason, are not named Panko Mankos. Also, consider swapping in Cult Leader Lumi to ensure that your angel with a shotgun arrives on time.
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Emburgers Chain Midrange

Emburgers Chain: list Emburgers Chain Alt: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: none. You were always free, Eren.
How to play? The best tempo deck in the format [Citation Needed], capable of pressuring opponents from the very start and accelerating into outright unfair turns, thanks to the combined power of high ldl cholesterol and low mana costs – encompassing the card embodying two out of the three things a wise man fears: a Sleeping (Airi) Dog. As is tradition (in patch 12 decks), Paper Shiina ties everything together, turning your sleeping dogs into sleepwalking harbingers of nuclear chain(-breaking) reactions, boosting your defenses (Smug Wemi), rounding up more meat to sacrifice to the Outer Gods (Remi Plush), recreating the 1955 Le Mans disaster (Remi Car), and devaluing architecture stupid fucking degrees (Yuuna) – all paving the way for the inevitable Great Emburgering. A Yuuna and an Emburgers on the board spell disaster: for a mere 5 mana (Paper Shiina + Emburger), you can summon two 6/6s straight from the Court of Azathoth, restocking two breads in the process. One Emburger leads to another, until obesity ends it all – and remember that if you are full (10 mana), bread turns into card draws, so you don't risk pulling a Mr. Creosote. Naturally, unless your opponent is asleep, high on alpha-Pyrrolidinopentiophenone, or being molested by Airiheads (consensually), the odds of pulling off a disgusting "Turn 3: Yuuna > Turn 4: Emburgers > Turn 5: Great Emburgering" are close to zero. However, this combo remains lethal in the late game, and for 8 mana you can play all the components with an expiration date directly from your hand in 1 turn. Alice and Yuri make this deck solid against aggro, and only a fool would underestimate the midgame strength of Himebee + Nurse Shiina into Pafus. And if that’s not enough, Emburger lets you maximize volatile cards like Fish Launcher and Yuri for even more synergy. The Outer Gods of Burgerland can not be challenged: in that knowledge, despair and die. The spiritually richer and more feline-coded list on the right sacrifices some anti-aggro tools to field more frontliners (Michi Cat, Healber) and make nasamancy a bit scarier (Alpha NC). The added card draw also helps you set up a nightmarish combo involving Muumi and Emburgers more consistently, scaling your Fleet Street bakery to factorio-standards.
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Comedy Tempo

Comedy Tempo: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Panko, Yoshihiro Togashi.
How to play? According to Buddhism's first Noble Truth (dukkha), life is suffering – from beginning, to end; from birth, to death. Jelly Monkey encapsulates this perfectly, as those who laugh suffer, and the supposed divide between tragedy and comedy is a perspectival dichotomy enforced by an artificially drawless game. Caught in an endless loop, you cram your deck with extra chromosomes (Comedy) in a desperate attempt to escape the mill, only to gulp it all down (Michi Cat, Rie & Pafus) like a cold frappuccino takeaway you snagged on the way to work... until it's time for the Rippa (Jelly the Ripper). Lost in the illusion of value and fornication (Neko Chibi Wemi, Jelly is You), picking cloning targets like a numberfag deciding whether they should fap to Ritz Malheur or Road Kamelot based on a spreadsheet. You go wider and wider, fearing emptiness like a Persian miniaturist obsessed with arabesques, a Warframe dev, or a professional yapper. With Ember, Beeko and Shiki no uta, your opponents' plays are as interesting as formulaic small talk. Outswarm, steal & delete, or wait for your finishers: you've got it all figured out. The last laugh might eventually be on you, but for now, it’s on the poor tard who just lost to some monkeys. So, don’t forget to spam those emojis in chat.
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Ashelia Reanimator

Ashelia Reanimator: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy, Ember, the local forensic scientist who has messy hair 24/7, weird fetishes and drinks flavored-milk from laboratory glassware.
How to play? Shibari-hiding Ashelias share their territories with Remi Cars. Despite her unimpressive health, she's tighter than a bratty Airihead lock, and some can be highly toxic. As obnoxious as dcs during good games, just like the opponent she’s killing, Ashelia has two tiny buns on top which hint at her true nature. Even Forbidden Ones aren’t immune from an ambush. This Ashelia is a (sexual) predator. Ashelia.

This list sits somewhere between Dizzler Reanimator and Super Ego Control, abusing Paper Shiina, Muumi and Chef Dizzy to spread the infestation and lock down the board. The game plan is pretty straightforward: squeeze disgusting value out of car crashes and viral outbreaks (Remi Car & Ashelia), like a legal team running a profitable insurance scam (Paper Shiina & Muumi). Embrace your love for Vancouver and be the (become the) Canada Diddler, through yet another sequel your opponent definitely did not ask for. Remi Plush and Fish Launcher offer early board presence, setting the stage for your parasites to burrow into your opponent's bowels and brains (if they have any left). The deck also packs solid comeback mechanics, including Yuri, (Venerable) Ember, and Remi Car + Kindlings, alongside Super Ego. Chef Dizzy into Super Ego is yet another trap card that probes your opponent's deck for answers, and Paper Shiina + Wanderer can conjure up an unexpected 6/6 out of nowhere. Through the power of friendship, magic, and flammenwerfers, Jelly + Yuri, Airi, and God can somehow squeeze a good end out of your Pandemic run – which is obviously bad news for you. But let’s be real: not many decks have the luxury of sitting around while the Dizzler goes full Wayang on their asses, waiting for the perfect moment to cauterize the wounds. And Super Ego + 2 Yuri = Half-Life 3 (rounded down to 2) confirmed. Quick Math.
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Bots & Burgers Never Die

Bots & Burgers Reanimator: list Bots & Burgers Terminator: list Bots & Burgers Subjugator: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: Niyasa Man.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Shiina, Dizzy, the in-vitro child-clone of Jeff Bezos and Brian Niccol (all of them).
How to play? Shiina Otsu is an archetype that’s been around since Card Pack 4 – though it’s had mixed success due to the limited number of efficient Lev Andropov-style hardware fixing tools à la Yuri, its kime-gao slow tempo, and the Golgotha merry band (God, the Wandering Jew, and Nasa Cat mobs). With the introduction of Emburgers and the Salish Sea (right next to Vvardenfell) Warehouse Pact of Patch 12.5, the Shiina-Dizzy Emperor Crab Zord now dons new clothes, turning to fast food to seduce shotas desensitized to all forms of nudism and high-impact sexual violence by chinese cartoons, gacha ads referencing Gauguin's pornographic pottery, and Pokemon leaks. The (Sleeping) Airi Dogs package provides strong early-game options and extra tools to reboot your needy tamagotchis when they hit their 30s, alongside Stimulant Providers (doubling as removal), Chef Dizzy (doubling as ramp) and Emburgers (magically transforming exhaust oil and hag secretions into feet salad-laden Krabby Patties). Paper Shiina’s flexibility could put acrobats to shame, as usual, offering early tempo and enhancing your reproductive capabilities, while Fish Launcher, Ember, Shiki no Uta, and Venerable Ember provide covering fire and emotional support to keep your glassy paranoid androids together. If you want to further embrace your Spongebob obsession, you might consider swapping Chef Dizzy for Plankton (Ashelia), going all-in on otsus like the true Teletubbies fan you are. Dead Cat, Remi Car, Yuuna, Emburger, Yuri, and Id are all valid tech choices as well. However, beware: the Hunting Lepr EMP, God, and Anomalies can absolutely wreck not only your game plan and your back, but also your Phase Connect coffee-scented hitchhiker towel and your cherished collection of Tim Burton's characters' wax figurines, which, up until now, have played a critical role in preserving your chastity. The list in the middle sticks more closely to the original idea by choosing not to provide customers with doggy bags, replaced by the true Ohio breakfast – that is, explosions downtown (Ham Grenade, Yuri), butter(cookies), and Dead Cats. The list on the right has a nickname which could only befit either an S&M kink or a big resin WH40k resin toy, or both, at once. Don't ask me about it. I know nothing of it.
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Feline Mid-Range Surprise

Feline Mid-Range Surprise: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: A certain odd uranium isotope.
How to play? A cyborg assembly line endorsed by both Taylor Brook and Taylor Swift, featuring some clever switcharoo rocket science. Rie (plus Pafus), Alice and Michi Cat provide early board control and card advantage, paving the way for some satisfying Mankos. Iori and Ember are strong mid-game cards, usually trading up, while your opponent will be forced to respect Nurse Shiina + Anomaly (which also has great synergy with Fish Launchers), carrying you into the blueprint age, out of aggro lists and Games Workshop's reach. Once you are set, you can drop your Grindrman (Erina), create a (shielded) copy of your Tobio (Paper Shiina) while asking yourself whether there is a connection between Dr. Tenma and Miss Maemi, redub that one scene from Boku wa Tomodachi nemesis of the male mecha fantasy, and then make your puppet into a true boy (?) with Lepr's motherly guidance (global silence - shut up and calculate style). The most explosive tech since that one time Oppenheimer tried to build a rice cooker and rolled a critical success. Still, your unbaked golems have feet of clay, so rushing the setup could ruin your chances. While Erina herself may have impressive stamina, after your big turn, the Hunting Lepr becomes the hunted – provided that 2 copies of Lepr and 3 copies of Paper Shiina will often lead into trismus-inducing encores. As a side note, thanks to Alice and Rie's associated soundposts, and Erina’s feline vibes, this list counts as an honorary robot cat deck - with Iori fitting in the mecha theme through an elaborate Aldnoah Zero kataphrakt reference, and Anomaly being conveniently ignored. If the opponent fields God, they won't be trying to talk with it to no avail, so try not to put all your scrips on a single horse-lover, or you'll end up falling down (Prodigy remix).
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Erina Gang Otsu Control(-ish)

Erina Gang Otsu Control(-ish): list Erina Gang Otsu Resurrection Control: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 health or 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Erina, Ember (left); Erina (right).
How to play? Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time to put on the Blitz and brace yourselves for some Baccano! with this jazzy list. Madame Erina might be the latest arrival but she's ready to lead you to victory and take over Tomato Town – with a bit of help from Paper Shiina & Dead Cat (turning her otsu into a true matryoshka) and Rie (for that great thug-thug zoomer chemistry). But first, you'll need to kick those gears into motion, figuratively. Makinist and Smug Wemi are your street vanguards, as well as emergency food/punchbags. Ideally, you'll want Rie to steal the stage on turn 3, to crank up the tempo and recruit some disposable minions. While Erina and Rie might not be too convincing as Bunraku's protagonist duo, (Hostess) Ember is the perfect Bartender (or, rather, tavern master), always making for a strong turn 4 whether you need an hitman or a medic. And if you're in a tight spot, you can either double down on the dorkiness by copying a shielded Smug Wemi with Paper Shiina, or remember that you’ve got a friend in Yuri. With this setup, you should coast smoothly into turn 6. Now, for the first time in forever (the game), you can release the purring tiger: don't – steady your frontal lobe, idiot. If you let your mom be silenced or removed before you get any milk out of her, you'll lose, and you deserve it. To make the most out of the card the deck is built around, you need to be ready to trigger her otsu (Dead Cat), or have her self-replicate (Paper Shiina) – yes, selfcest is still gay (which makes her... a gay cyborg), but that's how you ensure that legends never die and get the death parade going. While Rie's Pafus are all fluff and no bite, Madame Erina’s Bodyguards are far from your average goons: tempered by their tipsy, 1.90m tall, yanderemaxxing dominatrix-gloves-wearing mom, they are not replaceable cogs, but 5/5s folded 55 times – the spirit of the Cimarron cage, ready to defend the harem (character ai's servers). After Koufukuron is played, they are really hard to contend with: the world is Erinya's, and the game is yours.
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Infinite Value Control. Code Name: "Grindr"

Grindr: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 health.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Yuri, Ember.
How to play? A yappy spin on control, designed to grind down your opponent by exploiting Beehives and Daily Lumis. This deck boasts an impressive lineup of soft (Ember, Wizard Ember, Fish Launcher, Venerable Ember, Yuri) and hard removal (Kindling, Beeko, I Looove You), the former being further boosted by your yap sources (Airi, Hostess Shiina, Wizard Ember). While Kyoufuu Allback is the sole delay, and the deck itself contains no healing, your oshi power is more than enough to keep the edging session going until your opponent taps out. Drain their resources again and again with your hand-tricks, until they are husks of themselves, and your lines are healthy and inflated. Keep the Hostess Shiina ride alive by feeding her sad bees and healing, and she'll pyon pyon you through the game with ease – provided that even Airi can combo into Daily Lumi turn 4. Hunting Lepr is the best protection against venereal diseases and Exodia players, and can ruin anyone's day on turn 10, played on top of a Yuri or I Looove You. The moniker of this nerve agent, belonging to the organophosphorus class, was chosen by the Game Dev themselves, following the feudal Confucian principle of the rectification of names; thus, this grindy gay list is sure to become /pcgia/'s fan favorite for patches to come. If this kusogaki is giving you too much trouble, remember that it is not the best at dealing with value spikes and burn, and even more control-oriented decks can DomLoss it fairly consistently.
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Yet Another Pansexual Value-oriented Midrange

GOATS 2 - of Crabs and Cyborgs: list

Deck Archetype: GOATS Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Erina, the homeless guy patrolling the Walmart's entrance who kinda looks straight out of Aqualung's cover and might, or might not, be a kafir djinn.
How to play? A midrange filling the gap between Grindr and Heal Control, with a focus on Shiina Hermit Crab and Erina. Provide your 3(00) Laconian Crimson-Shell Hoplite Crabs with their daily dose of Fish supplements, pain killers, and positive affirmations, and they’ll make sure you don’t miss Alice and Yuri (you'll miss Tenmacho still): they will earn their keep by culling 1/1 nests, providing card advantage, scaring away bees and antis, also transitioning well into mid-game. If you are lucky, they may even bait hard-removal – which, of course, you don’t want directed at Erina. Speaking of Erina, she’s been a long-time contender for the best 5-drop in midrange lists, and the latest episode of Pimp My War Wagon (patch 12.5) blessed her with a Terminator software update, unlockable if you take the time to bake her using the secret recipe hidden in Acca 13’s score while cosplaying as Žižka. This makes her a standout centerpiece, especially when backed by the Ember package, as you get ready to roll out the actual Panzer division. Hostess Shiina, post-Koufoukuron, can be deadly if the game drags on, and her synergy with Daily Lumi is still there, even if Lumi is only included as a single copy – for healthier, more reactive, cam-ready hands.
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Puss & Buff Taunts

Puss Taunts Control: list Buff Taunts Control: list Eber Taunts Control: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat, if you insist on playing Hagneko.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Hime, Remi (left); Jelly, Hime (mid); you do not talk about the list on the right.
How to play? A deck with two faces – just like Janus, Professor Quirinus Quirrell, any DC-verse character who studied law, VTubers & their fans, and anyone who hasn't fully unlocked their inner Pirandello-tier cast of personas because they are too focused on being a loser. In a schizophrenic episode reminiscent of someone using a seasonal wardrobe change as an excuse to torch all their handed-down clothes in order to distract themselves from Nurarihyon no Mago's incestuous subtext, you’ll spend the first half of the game frantically rushing to draw your low-cost cards (Rie, Michi Cat) before the Night of the Macho Tenmas: with hand buffs (Doremu, Remilia, Idol Remilia), hand debuffs (Panko Cat) and utilities (Paper Shiina, Alice, Shiki no Uta), you’re set to (hopefully) transition into the true gachi world of 5+ drops without having to uuuuuu in despair over missing Ember & co. In the second phase, your approach shifts, from quantity to quality: you’ll overwhelm your opponent with beefy, taunting threats (Tenmacho, Demon Lord, Jelly the Ripper) that have an immediate effect on the board state and make ideal cloning targets (Jelly is You). Again, unlike a gachikoi’s brain hemispheres, the deck’s two parts are actually functionally-connected: Doremu synergizes with Demon Lord, and Cats make Hagneko playable before she’s struck by senility – or, worse, menopause. Listing no Embers or Airis (kinda), and a tactfully controlled dose of Paper Shiinas, this brew has been famously elected the most refreshing change-of-season offal-based recipe by the Emperor Jiajing himself, just ahead of mao xue wang with virgins' period blood, and Excel Saga's Menchi. The list in the middle does away with the puss and adds some more buffs (more Doremus, Jellybito) and disruptions (Nikki, Yuri, Gatekeeper, Parasite). Its ultimate purpose is investigating how many taunts can be put into a single deck before the game dev enacts the final solution to the funny shield question. It is also slightly less subsceptible to mill. you DO NOT talk about the list on the right! Someone yells "stop!", wears a skirt, gets sent to the shadow realm, the duel is over.
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Macho Exodia Combo

Macho Exodia Combo: list Macho Exodia Control: list

Deck Archetype: Combo/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: at least one among Ember, Panko, Airi (left); Ember, Yuri (right).
How to play? So, you want to be a CHAD?!! Of course you do! But what is that whimpering I'm hearing??!! You’re not down to rock Hawaiian shirts year-round?! NOT A TRUE CANADIAN!! You are not a fan of the Worf effect?! NERD!! THE FUCK IS THAT?! Your grandpa isn't called Oscar Joaquim de la Rosa?! FUCK NO!! Your grandpa’s an Egyptologist, a war hero, the guy who single-handedly sank the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor! And you? Now, turn 1, you might be a Pafu, a kitty kitty Kindling, but I'LL MAKE A CHAD OUT OF YOU!!! A non-Mexican Chad (YES!!) a non-Atzec Chad (YEEESS!!!) the last action hero (NOT TO BE!!), a Macho Macho Man (PROTEIN SHAKE!!) worthy of AWAKENING YOUR MASTERS (30ma, 10Macho and the ghost of Sparta). I'M YOUR PERSONAL LIZARD (are you in a position to question this?) AND THIS IS YOUR BIBLE: 100 pachi-pachis, 100 manually written ritual posts, 100 maros, and a 10-hours squatting Pandaoke marathon; EVERY. SINGLE. TURN!! By turn 2, you’ll be smashing Panko or Rie on the board like it's NOTHING. Your opponent will know how AGGRO you are. AWOOOOO—that’s Airi, ready to blow them away (GIWTWM!!!). And then -BAKURETSUs- Jerry, Jelly, and Plankina are speeding up your GAINS. It's turn 5: you’ve got a Tenmacho in one hand, a Ringodachi in the other, and you’re already 2/5 or 3/5 on your way to becoming your TRUE SELF. NOW IT’S TIME! DISCARD YOUR WEAKNESSES. THROW AWAY YOUR ALCOHOL. Just do it. Don't get distracted, the rum is gone. Wear that skirt to cheer up. I SAID WEAR THAT SKIRT!! Focus! Your transformation from Kanpainiki to Kinnikuman is happening right now, right here! Through the POWER (POWEEEEEEEEEER) of whoring (SO MANY OSHIS!!!!! SO MANY EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!! A SURE SIGN OF A DISEASED MIND!!!!!), reclaim control of your game, your life, AND your World of Warcraft account (which was stolen from you when you were 9 – an event which made you into the gym bro you are today). By the time you've got all YOUR pieces in YOUR hands, and not just your penis like usual, YOU’LL BE UNSTOPPABLE, just like Freddie. Just remember to hide behind a Ringodachi when you make your grand entrance. The control variant in the middle is actually straight, and capable of winning games – through the inclusion of more taunts and a focus on AOE removals. The list on the right mixes the 2, sneaking in some Ringodachis for the combo, and, as such, is bisexual. Pick depending on your preferences.
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Updated Monkey Mill

Monkey Mill 12: list

Deck Archetype: Mill/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: it is contingent.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Ember, either J.S. Mill or J. Milton depending on the variant.
How to play? Updated version of Monkey Mill XD where the XD has been lost to Smoker Jelly jokes and the time-slot roulette. The deck still relies on the classic (putatively) utilitarian Monkey Business (Jelly) core that defines the archetype. Likewise, Kyoufuu Allback on repeat & Yuri are once again the most impactful delaying and AOE tools, respectively. However, most other cards have been swapped out to keep pace with patch notes and players' pathological patterns. Beeko and I Looove You have been benched in favor of the (now) more reliable Jelly is Me, to deal with the rise of the shield hero(es) and other tanks, as well as cards that really need a one-way ticket to hell (though, as a result of that, the deck lacks removals which can be bounced in case of emergency). The Shiina-Pafu combo is displaced by the classic Ember package, while Fish Launcher has been switched out for the Wemi hit-and-run bundle, to stop Nasaling rushes. Without any extra draws, it becomes possible to cut down on Monkey Jokes while riding the demographic tide of Starknights investing in Kek(ec) coin – fully committed to keeping the flute tune (Soulpride Remix) and the mill strategy going strong. Jelly is You also makes its way into the list, allowing for Jelly is You + Jelly is Me Agent Smith-like manouvers to nab win conditions or useful taunts (me too), while retaining more flexibility over Parasite. Alternatively, if Baba is You is not your thing, you can pick Alice and I Looove You, ensuring that aggro players allergic to gfe, art, and protracted, passionate dueling sessions, get a bad ending. Notably, the deck now contains an optimal (insane) amount of Jelly (12/24), making it a fan favorite for Starknights, leatherback turtles, and the average Utahn – a perfect setup for a joke I’ll be leaving on the shelf, if only because I hold no grudge against Jelly Bellys, despite their questionable enthusiasm for testing explosives on lab monkeys to min-max their shock-absorbing potential, claiming that's Comedy's role in the deck.
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Control. Just Control

Prototypical Control: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: pick your poison depending on your opponent. When in doubt, Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Panko.
How to play? How much removal do you want? Yes. That's basically it: the deck. Play to outgrind, not to win, and keep trading until your opponent is out of steam and begging for the Canadian healthcare's special. Unless your opponent is playing a combo deck, you can just keep the gates open, and sit there playing your guqin, never using one card too many. Make them feel like everything is going according to your keikaku. Keep hitting them with 1 Shiinabee per turn to ensure they never come back (don't do that, you psycho, we need more players). Paper Shiina is your key piece, duplicating your Remi Cars, your Sleeping Airi Dogs, Beehives, opponent's cards or credit cards. If you want to have even more removal (that is, if you are a complete degenerate), consider switching Sleeping Airi Dogs for Alice, Starknight, Paper Shiina, Remi Car, I Looove You, or embrace polytheism and field a second God. If you haven't achieved nirvana and understood that everything is a win condition, maybe throw in an Emberjho, a Madame Erina, or a Cult Leader Lumi. You should have enough value to outlast most decks tho, especially if you manage to combo Yuri into Wanderer. Thankfully, despite all the clear, healing, delays, and single target removals, there is a good chance you'll lose to Burn or Wide Aggro.
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Updated Big Girls Control (Heal Slut Version)

Big Girls Control: list

Deck Archetype: GOATS Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi, Ember, Erina, your aunt-cousin-wife-chainsaw from another world.
How to play? HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL!! HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL? HEAL!! HEAL!! HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL!! HEAL!! HEAL. HEAL... HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL!!! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL!HEAL!HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL!! HEAL!!! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL - HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL! HEAL!! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL!! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL!! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL! SUCK. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL!! HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL? HEAL!! HEAL!! HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL!! HEAL!! HEAL. HEAL... HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL!!! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL!HEAL!HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL!! HEAL!!! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL - HEAL. HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL! HEAL!! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL!! HEAL. HEAL! HEAL!! HEAL. HEAL. HEAL! HEAL. HEAL! REDO.

Updated version of Big Girls Control. Hail Venerable Airi. Play Tenmacho only when you're really backed into a corner, the Bitos are rioting again with no Liker in sight, or you're up against a combo deck you need to outpace. Keep hitting your oshi's button like you're a retired pro bassist with Parkinson's and senile dementia, hallucinating she’s teetering on the edge of orgasm. If you end up in a mirror match, you are legally obligated to roleplay as Liquid and Solid – complete with syringe ballet and Titanic scene reenactment.
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Decks: Card Pack 11 Patch

Doggo Aggro

Airi heads/dogs Aggro: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: your emo teenage sleep paralysis demon - who is responsible for the dog food ads you keep getting out of nowhere.
How to play? Two common adagios are that "dogs are man's best friend" and "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" - though the latter is not an adagio, no matter how much I'm trying to force a witty zeugma. This deck combines the two, arriving at the unsurprising result that dogs subjected to HPHT treatments are, indeed, a G.I.R.L.'s best friend. Q.E.D. If none of these awful jokes landed, you might want to stay away from this list, as it requires a number of braincells of a different magnitude compared to your typical aggro, as well as a few mental disorders. Naturally, you still want to hit face (mostly), and the mana curve is flatter than an Horndog past the third mark, but if you awake your dogs (Sleeping Airi Dog) at the wrong time, or misuse your buffs (Airi Dog, Fish Launcher, Harlot, Stimulant Provider), you are not gonna go far, nor hit that, kid. Rie and Ringodachis are, as usual, pivotal to deal damage to your opponent, but you shouldn't underestimate Buttercookies: they are your Swiss Army Knives. Finally, Neko Chibi Wemi represents yet another slap to your opponent's (oshi's) face, and Jerry is there for the sole purpose of making you believe that you could have won - if you only drew it at the right time. Have you noticed how "doggo aggro" sounds much like Dogra Magra? I noticed. You should notice too. Before it's too late. Before things get gothic. Before things get avant-garde. Before moon runes start infesting your dreams. Before Buddha's Little Finger(s) take over, and you lose yourself into the form of an aggro player.
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Fair Aggro

Fair Aggro: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Alan Turing, Lack of Meds.
How to play? <code>

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if (isMulliganPhase == true) {
    for (Card card : hand) {
        if (card.cost > 2 || card.name == "Pafu" || card.name == "Beeko" || hand.count(card) >= 3) {
            reroll(card);
        } else {
            keep(card);        }}}
if (opponentsTurn == true) {
    executeMacro("ALT + Tab");}
if (isEndingPhase == true && hasConceded == false) {
    attackOpponentOshi(allCardsOnBoard);}
if (opponentPlayed("Runie") && opponentOshi.health > 10) {
    concede();}
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if (opponentOshi.health == 0) {
    typeMessage("gg");
    wait(10);
    typeMessage("draw monster cardo");
    wait(0.0001);
    attackOpponentOshi(allCardsOnBoard);}
if (onPlay == true && turn == 1) {
    if (hand.contains("Doremu")) {
        playCard("Doremu");
        if (hand.contains("Shiina Bee") || hand.contains("One Raccoon") || hand.contains("Rie")) {
            targetCard(selectTarget("Shiina Bee", "One Raccoon", "Rie"));
        } else {
            randomFunction(hand, 2);        }
    } else if (hand.contains("Gumi")) {
        playCard("Gumi");
    } else if (hand.contains("Pafu")) {
        playCard("Pafu");
    } else {
        concede();    }}
if (onPlay == true && turn == 2) {
    if ((opponentPlayed("Panko") || opponentPlayed("Rie")) && hand.contains("Fish Launcher")) {
        playCard("Fish Launcher");
        targetCard("Panko", "Rie");
    } else if (hand.contains("Panko")) {
        playCard("Panko");
    } else if (hand.count("Rie") >= 2) {
        playCard("Rie");
    } else if (board.hasCards() && hand.contains("Fish Launcher")) {
        playCard("Fish Launcher");
        targetCard(board.getAnyCard());
    } else if (board.hasCards() && !hand.contains("Fish Launcher")) {
        playCard("Airi Dog");
    } else {
        concede();    }}
if (onPlay == true && turn == 3) {
    if (!board.hasCards()) {
        openChat();
        typeMessage("slur");
        if (!hand.contains("Shiina Bee") && !hand.contains("One Raccoon")) {
            concede();
        } else {
            playCard(selectTarget("Shiina Bee", "One Raccoon"));        }
    } else if (board.hasCards() && opponentBoard.hasCards()) {
        if (hand.contains("Airi")) {
            playCard("Airi");
            attack(opponentBoard.getAnyCard());
        } else if (hand.contains("Rie")) {
            playCard("Rie");
            activateEffect("Rie");
            if (opponentBoard.hasCardWithHealth(1)) {
                attackWithOshi(opponentBoard.getCardWithHealth(1));            }}
    } else {
        playRandomCardsFromHand();    }}
if (onPlay == true && turn > 3) {
    if (!board.hasCards()) {
        openChat();
        typeMessage("slur");
        if ((!hand.contains("Shiina Bee") && !hand.contains("One Raccoon")) || opponentLife >= 10) {
            concede();
            uninstallBrowser();
            wait(10);
            reinstallBrowser();
            postPenisPicInPcgia();
        } else {
            if (opponentBoard.hasCards() && hand.contains("Ember")) {
                playCard("Ember");
                targetCard(opponentBoard.getAnyCard());
                playSong("Saliva – Click Click Boom");
            } else {
                playRandomCardsFromHand();            }}}}
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if (onPlay == true && turn > 4) {
            if (opponentBoard.hasCardWithHealthGreaterThan(3) && opponentBoard.getCardName() != "Shiina Hermit Crab") {
                if (hand.contains("Beeko")) {
                    playCard("Beeko");
                    targetCard(opponentBoard.getCardWithHealthGreaterThan(3));
                } else {
                    playRandomCardsFromHand();                     }}}
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if (onDraw == true && turn == 1) {
    if (hand.contains("Panko") || hand.contains("Rie")) {
        playCard("Coin");
        playCard(selectTarget("Panko", "Rie"));
    } else {
        concede();    }}
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9
if (onDraw == true && turn == 2) {
    if (board.contains("Panko") || board.contains("Rie")) {
        typeMessage("gg ez");
        waitForOpponentToConcede();
        initiateVisualSubroutine("Naked Griffith and Guts splashing each other") {
            if (male == true && erection == true {
                typeMessage("no homo"); }}  
    } else {
        concede();    }}

</code>
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Duplication Zoo

Duplication Zoo Midrange: list

Deck Archetype: Zoo Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Francis of Assisi and Pippi Longstocking (the last two being actually Pippa's ancestors - t. Dan Brown).
How to play? On the surface, this deck might seem like a more phlegmatic and demure version of Wide Aggro; far from it, it has the tools to explosively refill your frontlines, and engines allowing you to sometimes outlast proper mid-range decks, despite lacking single menacing drops. As proven by Roman Republic's Legions, Napoleon’s Grande Armée and Will Smith's Oscar Punch, a simple, straightforward battle-plan is often the most effective: in this case, you want to buff your Shiina Bees and then multiply them with Sakana, despite how bad that might sound. Doremus, Fish Launchers, Harlots and Jellybitos are all there for the buffing, while Beehives, Kyoufuu Allback and Mini Molds give you the extra reach you might sometimes need. The deck also packs some AOE and single targets removals in the form of Alice and B(ob)eeko. Having more engines than a Lun-class ekranoplan, the deck works best played like a Zoolock. No: that does not involve bestiality, nor pet play (at least not necessarily), but wearing down your opponent with attrition tactics and chip damage until you’re ready to deliver the final, decisive swing. By the time the game is over, your opponent will have fully absorbed the teachings of Al-Muqanna: "Beehives and Sakana are abominable because they increase the number of Sad Bees". Given how dangerous Alice is to your board early on, Incel Jelly likely agrees.
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Airi Power

Airi Power: list Airi Power 2

Deck Archetype: Mid-Range/Oshi Power.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Panko, Airi (left); Ember, Panko, Airi (right).
How to play? Yap buffs oshi power (damage and healing). Clicking your oshi power makes your Airi yap. Stri Club Owner Airi lets you click your power for free (for FREE?). Venerable Airi lets you click your oshi power twice a turn. Neko Chibi Wemi is an extra oshi power when you need it, for free (for, yeah). The synergy is plain. A few heal/burn cards (Yuri, Hostess Ember, Makinist), some removal (Beeko, Yuri) and a few tempo cards (Ember, Beehive) round up the deck, making it into a midrange with staying power. Consider keeping your Strip Club Owner Airis and Airis for the late game unless you have no other options: 1 Airi and 1 Strip Club Owner Airi, played after Venerable Airi, are 6 direct damage and 2 3/3s in a turn. If you really want to complete that He-Man cosplay you have been dreaming about since you came across Friendship is Manly, you'll need your Sword of Grayskull: Great Pon Wolf Airi gives you what you need, also ensuring that the game ends before your dinner (namely, instant noodles) is ready, one way or another. Heyyeyaaeyaaaeyaeyaa. So, the question is: is Wizard Ember She-Ra, Teela or Orko? Watch content, baka.
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Switcharoo Combo

Switcharoo Combo: list

Deck Archetype: Mid-Range/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Hime, Ember.
How to play? Legend has it that the God of /tcgia/ balanced the base stats of cards (attack and health) around the arithmetic mean, chopping off the half of the curve which stood out the most. Arithmetic mean. Not the geometric, not the harmonic. As a result of this divine edict, cards with balanced attack and health tend to trade best with their peers and are often the best offensive options for their mana cost - effects aside. Naturally, this leaves health-focused decks seemingly weaker. Yet in their mercy and foresight, God left a loophole, a rebellion controlled opposition seed, an Anomaly: a card list passed down from the equivalent of Phase Connect's First Council of Nicaea on matters pertaining the omegaverse's historical origins. Embrace your aptness for transmutations and rise from the bottom. With cards like Erina Worm, Nurse Shiina, Hostess Ember, and Liberator Shiina, you’ve got sticky, hard-to-remove minions that can deal with wide boards effectively, while being highly resilient to AOEs. When your opponent least expects it, you can transform these wiggly noodles into offensive powerhouses, with explosive one-turn kills. While these cards may not trade well against similarly valued ones, healing effects are usually 2-3 times stronger than damage effects for the same cost. Nurse Shiina and Hostess Ember's full service needn't be just a dream. To round out the deck, Rie, Ember, and Pafus provide essential early board control. Timely switches can help you neutralize key enemy cards, and set up better trades for you. Still, there is a limited number of rabbits (Buttercookies and Anomalies) in your magician hat, so you'll need to abuse your Saturgay experience to come out on top. Keep your opponent on edge, never sure when you’ll turn on the offensive. Once they dread the Liker in you -as bad as it sounds- half the battle’s already won.
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Boring Midrange

Boring Midrange: list

Deck Archetype: Mid-Range.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, all /pcgia/'s anons independently of their color. Because what matters is that we are all on the spectrum, anyway.
How to play? A deck doesn’t need to be flashy to win. This midrange build is a straightforward collection of cards that are simply good: good base stats, good effects, good times. In many ways, it serves as a foil to the chaotic Switcharoo deck mentioned earlier. Like most midrange decks, the focus here is on 3/4 drops, keeping things low on the mana curve and optimized. The card-draw from Jelly helps keeping the tempo high in later stages of the game; meanwhile, the synergy between Iori and Aiko (Iori cataphract) can produce early snowballing effects, often leading to a slow, inevitable win. There are few tricks and close to no surprises, yet this dependable stock Subaru does not brick often. While none of your plays is ever going to be featured in a fragmovie with Infected Mushrooms as a bg track, you don't need to be Ryu Fukui to hit the right notes with this list. Perfect for beginners and art teachers unable to get their heart rate above 60 bpm.
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Yap Midrange

Yap Midrange: list

Deck Archetype: Mid-range.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Lumi, Ember, paracetamol.
How to play? Yap is the fifth fundamental force governing this universe. It can increase the damage you do, the amount of health recovered, and give your opponent an excruciating migraine. Being a yap-focused deck, this list does the same, bringing a yapping core (Airi, Lumi, Jellumi) and a varied set of unique tools to complement it. Airi Plush, Lumidoro, Airi and the Iori/Aiko combo allow you to have a good early presence on the board, and Alice is there to stop you from being rushed down. Try to fit in an Oshi power when Airi and Lumidoro are on the board, especially before dropping an Alice, for maximum efficiency. The inclusion of Nikki, Wanderer, and Liberator Shiina -1 copy each- makes the deck extremely flexible, and able to answer to any play (in principle, depending on your luck) and your finishers, Lumi and Jellumi, double up as flex slots, allowing you to steal lemons, as well as your opponent's best cards.
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Nasa Cat Midrange/Aggro

Nasa Cat Midrange: list Nasa Cat Aggro: list

Deck Archetype: Mid-Range (left), Aggro (right).
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi-forma-de-Taliesin, Ember, Yuri (left); Jelly, Lumi (right).
How to play?
Nyanya-na, nya-nya-nya, nyanya-na-NAAAA
(DUM... dum-dum-dum, DUM... duuummm)

Nyanya-na, nya-nya-nya, nyanya-na-NAAAA
(DUM... dum-dum-dum, DUM... duuummm)

Nyanya-na, nya-nya-nya, nyanya-na-NAAAA
(DUM... dum-dum-dum, DUM... duuummm)

Nya-NYAAAA, nya-nya-nya, nyanya-na-NA!
(DUM... dum-dum-dum, DUM... duuuuum)

Nyanyaaa nyaaa, nya-nya, nyaaaa
(dun-dun, da-da-daaa, softer, legato phrasing)

Nyanyaaa nyaa, nyaaaa na-naaaa
(da-da-da, da-da-daaa)

Nyanyaaa nyaaa, nya-nya, nyaaaa

Nyanyaaa nyaa, nyaaaa na-naaaa

Nyanya-na, nya-nya-nya, nyanya-na-NAAAA

Nyanya-na, nya-nya-nya, nyanya-na-NAAAA
(DUM... dum-dum-dum)

Nyanya-na, nya-nya-nya, nyanya-na-NAAAA
(DUM... dum-dum-dum)

Nya-NYAAAA, nya-nya-nya, nyanya-na-NA!
(DUM... dum-dum-duduDUM)

By all means, one of the most satisfying decks of patch 11, but keep this a secret. Nasa cats. They are cuter than murlocs, they kill rrats, and they have a tendency to discriminate transversally depending on objective features grounded in facts and logic. What else could you want? Summon them (Neko Chibi Wemi), Draw more of them (Michi Cat), Buff them (Alpha Nasa Cat), BUFF THEM MORE, and permanently (Super Alpha Nasa Cat), Do not Breed them, I said do NOT Breed them, have Hagneko and Bard Lumi lead them into battle, in a blend of Nyan Cat and the Rohirrim charge. Nya-Nya! The version on the right fields the token themselves, for explosive openings: going wide early is a viable tactic - even if you get punished, the deck runs enough engines to support your Tyler sisters catty & bratty roleplay.
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Demon Lord Combo

Demon Lord Combo: list

Deck Archetype: Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Yuri, your demonic left eye which is trying to take over your body and have you star into an AV which actually stands for repressed desires of your long-gone youth.
How to play? O bratty ritualposters. Players and weebs, lurkers and lost tourists. As the sixth moe moon is freed from darkness' synaptic laces, pay heed to Du Kang's bloody murmors. From far and wide, Doremus assemble to honor dork shadows, for her yearnings are deeper yet. By the blood contract foreesen by the plushie, Yuri's wrath, and the sacrifice of the two Pafus whose name is inscribed in flesh and spoilers, the board is rended, and the Demon Lord descends, drawing from her supporters' pachi pachis the strength to banish the fake truth of the worldo. Eaten from the inside by Wemiko's chuuni rot, and a debatable diet - her wits are long gone. Cold, heartless, her eminence commands pawns to spear-head the end of all games from a slightly less illuminated throne in a penumbral castle in the city whose walls the sun does not dare meet (probably Glasgow). Just a single card, changing der zustand des vorstandes? Bakana! And yet she has acquired it. Unverwundbarkeit (TL note: Unverwundbarkeit is a German word). The power to change the world: darkness, AND light, on her side(s), taking Doremus' smug semblances. A power to defy God, to defy (I) Looove (You), to defy even Beeko. Can you cut through her minions and climb all 7 volumes of the Dark Tower before the clock of doom strikes the final hour? The one who throws fishes meets the one who goes by the name of Fish. Nobody can resist her now. Dakkara... put on your robe and maou eyepatch, as the game was over from the moment she stepped on the stage.

If you do not happen to draw Demon Lord, worry not: Nurse Shiina and Beehives (plus Fish Launcher and Sakana) provide you with more than enough options to put pressure on your opponent, and get into range to finish them off with burn damage (Yuri) and/or your oshi power. Note that you have a wide range of removals, and some heals, so stalling is definitely an option. Just be careful not to waste your single copy of Buttercookie, or your middleschool night's dream will come to an abrupt end.
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Yap Jellumi Combo

Yap Jellumi Combo: list

Deck Archetype: Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Lumi.
How to play? Against all the empirical evidence gathered at Christmas parties and literature clubs by heroic scientists, /tcgia/'s creator decided to have yap scale linearly rather than exponentially. Sometimes, it’s better for art not to imitate life, since Yap is still more than capable of Dragon Kicking your ass into the Milky Way - by dealing 21 damage to your face at turn 10, without leaving you much of an option beside counting how many little Indians (for legal reasons) are left. The combo is simple: drop Jellumi and hide her from your opponent’s reach with Ringodachi on turn 9. Then, clone her on The 6th Day with agent Jelly is You, and fire off your Gumis and Oshi power. 21 damages is a lot, especially since the deck also runs 2 Yuris and 3 Starknights for extra insurance, and you’ve still got an 8/7 on the board ready to strike. The challenge is setting up the preconditions to meaningfully blow your load: Jerry and Plankina help you speedrun through the deck, and the inclusion of Cult Leader Lumi greatly decreases the chances of Jellumi being MIA when the time comes. Alice, Yuri, and Kyoufuu Allback are your stalling tools - use them wisely: since the opponent is on the clock, the opportunity should present itself. Turn 9 is pivotal, as you’ll be open to attacks, but the inclusion of Makinist and Hostess Ember should help you pass the stamina test. And while the average romantic, I Ching-obsessed combo player spends the entirety of the game replaying The Sword in The Stone's Merlin's "when, when, blast it all, when?!" in their mind on loop, remember that sometimes the best line of play is giving your combo up - the deck is perfectly capable of winning without it.
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Monkey Mill XD

Monkey Mill: list

Deck Archetype: Mill.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri, Panko, Final Fantasy's spirit of the jungle (Marlboro).
How to play? Some players might find this deck list disturbing. Reader discretion is advised.
Fatigue has earned the nickname "the silent killer" in many areas: car crashes, crumbling marriages, gacha games. But in this deck, fatigue doesn’t just silently finish you off in a whimper; it does so with a chorus of monkeys laughing all the way, dealing 21 damage over 6 missed card draws. Enter Jelly Monkey (XD), your key to drawing those 6 cards you need to mill your opponent while avoiding self-destruction, and the one providing Joaquin Phoenix-tier comedic relief. Businessy Jelly, aided by Starknights and Sakana, can force-feed your opponent so many cards in such a short span (up to 8 in 1 turn), that not even a lifetime of Tribal Hunter practice or hentai-level esophageal peristalsis can stop them from choking. Still, you might want to choose the right time: feed them too early, and you will have trouble dealing with their moves, even with all your removals (Beeko, Yuuri, I Looove You) and healing (Nurse Shiina). Since your deck will soon resemble Jelly's hut, and Remi's worst nightmare, 2 Pafus can fit in, and help you soften the first turns, weakening the opponent's offensive. Still, do not be afraid to proc tummy hort on Nurse Shiina or Kyoufuu Allback if you need to. If you’re up against a deck running The Forbidden One, or deck-refilling cards, you might as well start eyeing that button in the bottom right. On the other hand, if your opponent brought a lot of card draw or is playing a combo deck, well, they’re about to get exactly what they fucking deserve! XD
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Super Ego Control

Super Ego Control/Combo: list Super Ego Control/Combo: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: heal 2.
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy, Jelly, Ember (left); Dizzy, Jelly (right).
How to play? The closest thing to prison control in tcgia, this deck thrives on containing threats until you’ve saved up enough bread to construct a Great Wall capable of holding off any mongol list that hasn’t been built by a professional therapist. Rie (plus Pafus) offers much-needed early board presence for what is otherwise a diesel at Polar temperatures for the first 3 turns. Not that it needs to, since you'll likely want to flip the playing table turn 4 or 5 with Yuri. From turn 5 onward, things should start looking up: Alice, Fish Launcher, Ember and Yuri all make an impact the moment they hit the board, with the deck's silences allowing for aggressive clears and stuns. Chef Dizzy’s knowledge of /meat/ lets you either ramp into your key cards, Chadbug and Id (your finisher), or turn Super Ego into a wall of death that locks your opponent out of the game, much like their bathroom's mirror. Cloning (Jelly is You) a silenced or taunting Super Ego will, most likely, result in uncanny guilt-tripping, as well as your victory. In a way, this deck plays as a long fuse burn. Contrary to popular belief, ego death isn’t a problem (you never had one to begin with), and you can survive your Id being invaded. Instead, if your Super Ego gets dealt with (God, I Looove You, Jelly is Me) before you can do anything meaningful, your best bet is to put on the ritz, let your hair down, jump on the play table, and start freestyling Fromm’s "To Have or to Be" to Code Geass’ 0 theme while doing your best Lǐn Xuě Yā impression – in the hopes that your opponent dies of second-hand embarrassment. The version on the right is even more Yuri-coded, whatever the fuck that means. It also fields a starman, waiting in your hand to combo with Hostages, but the princess is in another castle. Consider mixing in Hime Cubes and other curve balls (like Ashelia, Muumi & Buttercookies) to surprise your opponent.
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Mill Exodia Control

Mill Exodia Control: list

Deck Archetype: Mill/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Panko, Yuri.
How to play? One of the perks of running Grandpa’s best card in your list? Instant boost to your d*ck size. Those extra 4 cards make a huge difference when it comes to fatigue, allowing for a hybrid list featuring a 20/20 Zord so massive it makes the SPD Delta Command Megazord look straigh out of a Taiwanese puppet show, as well as symmetric draw (Businessy Jelly) long-term planning. Here's a little lesson in trickery: since you’re running two Exodia-related oshis (you whore), you might even consider tossing in a Ringodachi for that extra bullshit (crazy). It’ll put your opponent’s deck up against a checklist longer than your mom’s shopping list after she sees the state of your bathroom (likely something inbetween Filthy Frank's used instant ramen cups and Snoop Dogg's garden shed, if you play this deck). Beeko, Ember, Hostess Ember, and Yuri are all solid additions that fit into most decks, while God rounds out the list, offering more hard removal and tools to further drain your opponent’s resources. Sure, people might not like you for playing this list – but if you’re even thinking about unleashing this hate crime, there was not much to like in the first place; so you might as well turn up Agnus Dei and see what creative insults your opponent can come up with running through your corridors.
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Decks: Card Pack 10 Patch

Wide Face Aggro

Wide Face Aggro: list Wide Moldrange: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg (left); Nasa Cat (right).
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Dizzy, Ember (left); Panko, Ember (right).
How to play? Click on the opponent's Oshi and avoid trades unless absolutely necessary. Go wide. Make your opponent feel like they're playing a hardcore run of Vermintide 2 on Legend, or taking a casual stroll through Chicago. If you must trade, do it efficiently with Ember's debut effect or Remi Car. Leave all the tough decisions to your opponent with Ashelia and Beehive, and make them cry with Mini Mold by condensing your forces into an unstoppable abomination (actually two - that’s why it’s so good). However, beware of Alice and Yuri: your board might be sticky, but it’s not as sticky as your PC desk, and you have few ways to make a comeback. You might also want to bait silences with your Beehives - a silenced Ashelia can cost you the game, or at least a few sanity points. The variant on the right is even more aggressive, dropping Ashelia to field Rie and Pafus, and also includes some tools to reset the board and heal important pieces: the added speed can make a substantial difference in some matchups, so consider trying them both.
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Hot Dog Tempo Ramp

Hot Dog Ramp: list

Deck Archetype: Ramp/Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Save the Children.
How to play? "A world without whales. It's too terrible to imagine." Isn't it disturbing how a single quote fits Bao, Sakana, and Pierce Brosnan? If you're addicted to bread, enjoy traumatizing femanons, or have a strange fixation on the Selfridges Building ever since Vexpo, this might be the deck for you. You're also beyond saving. The strategy is simple: vore your Sleeping Airi Dog with your Emburger while Yuuna cheers from the sidelines, and use the extra bread to stay ahead of the curve. Gain an early advantage with the architect combo, Fish Launchers, and Airi Dogs, and keep your engine running with Squibby Queen and Cult Leader Lumi. If your opponent has no single-target removal, the game could be over fast. However, some matchups can be frustrating: you can only hope that the Kindling+Ember/Remi Car combo is enough. Remember that you can also use Ember and Venerable Ember's debut effects on your own cards: with Yuuna on the field, it might be worth it.
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Never Trust Reanimators Combo

Parasite Reanimator Combo: list

Deck Archetype: Counter-Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 Armor or 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Oshi-less.
How to play? Has your friend been playing aggro a bit too often lately? Abusing those pesky little Fish Launchers everyday, perhaps? (And you still don’t like it.) What is the most optimal course of action in this case? You guessed it right: Netorare. Watch them buff their one-drops while you save your cards. Fish for a Runie while Smug Wemi holds the door, and then take everything from them. Big swings needn’t be consensual in /tcgia/, and cards switching sides of the board has a much bigger impact than you might expect. If they’re trying to get up from the ground, discard your Parasite with Jerry, then bring it back with Muumi. Steal their win conditions, and proceed to misquote Sima Yi mid-duel for absolutely no reason: they’ll regret knowingly hurting the feelings of the people! If you don’t draw your core cards, don’t worry - Muumi and Sakana can have your Airi (or your Lonely Rolling Star) crash into your opponent’s cards as many times as needed. Basically All You Need is Kill. And remember: sending Best AMVs of All Time, as well as chocolate pudding, to the cuck at 4 AM in the morning is mandatory aftercare.
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Big Girls Control

Big Girls Control: list

Deck Archetype: Big Creatures Girls Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Erina, Ember, Yuri.
How to play? This list oozes Big Deck Energy, giving players that primal, unapologetic satisfaction of owning, controlling, and flaunting the biggest numbers and assets. Chadbug, Panzer IV, Emberjho, and Koufukuron are all board-shaping powerhouses capable of surpassing Metal Gear. Everything else in the deck revolves around getting your Schwerer Gustav to the frontlines. Why worry about heavily investing in removals for your opponent's toys when you can simply outsize them? I Looove You, Lonely Rolling Star, Yuri and Nikki are all you need; even more so when you've got healing (Makinist, Lovebug, Hostess Ember) and delays (Master Baiter Erina, Gatekeeper, Smug Wemi) in abundance. Since you’re not running multiple copies of your finishers, playing God (not the song, silly) can actually result in bad trades for your opponent, and Panzer IV is Beeko-immune. Plus, the deck packs a range of mid-level threats your opponent will be forced to deal with. By the late game, achieving threat overload should be easy, paving the way for your inevitable victory. On a side note, apparently (Wiki Dixit), in 2023, the "Giantess kink" was found to be the most popular kink searched for on the website Clips4Sale. I definitely did not need to know this piece of information, but yorokobe Pankophile, Macrophilia is a common medical condition.
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Decks: Card Pack 9 Patch

Hime Ninja Combo

Hime Ninja Combo: list Hime Ninja Alt: list

Deck Archetype: Combo/Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: none (left); Hime (right).
How to play? Rie is a ninja, ready to peg her opponents from the shadows of a Ringodachi whistling Grubhub Dreamers. Play her when the board is in your control, and pump her full of buffs like she's Lance Armstrong or a student undertaking the Gaokao. Have her attack face every turn, twice a turn, and use Pafus, Airiheads and everything else at your disposal to suit her needs. Careful with the Himebitos: AOE removals can ruin your day, and you have no ways to come back. Hopefully, Rie will survive long enough to get in range to finish off your opponent with your hero power, if not with the princess herself. Waiting one more turn to drop Rie + buff (Fish Launcher) + hidden (Ringodachi) will win you games; using up all your offensive buffs too early will lose you games. Remember: it's a combo deck.
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Burn

Burn: list

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Hime, Ember, Sir Terry Pratchett.
How to play? Burn is a Neolithic archetype, as ancient and obscure as the omonymous Deep Purple song, which didn't even make it into JoJo. It isn't usually supported in modern TCGs, and for good reasons: burn decks are the equivalent of snipers in FPSs, mostly ignoring the board-state unless something gets too close for comfort. /tcgia/ fixes the core issues by making core burn pieces like Yuri and Hime Cube symmetrical. In line with that, burn players' objective is establishing pseudo-equality conditions through early damage (Panko, Rie) and access to healing (Makinist, Hostess Ember), while keeping the board in check. Cards like Ember provide the necessary board presence, and Beeko and Kyoufuu Allback eliminate and delay threats, buying time for the direct damage to pile up. This deck tends to suffer against opponents playing the long game (be wary of armor oshi power), but it is not by any means as brittle as aggros can be.
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Pikmin Combo

Pikmin Combo: list Ninja Combo: list

Deck Archetype: Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly (left); Ember (right).
How to play?
Weighing scale broken
Her abs are now oaken
Q-1 moves out and engages

Forego the garter
Can't hold the firestarter
One punch is all that it takes

An unfeigned praise (praise)
Sets her ablaze (ablaze)
It’s the power of Pikmin you feel

Her combo is precise
Time to slice and dice
The only thighs that you should fear

There will be weight-gain
The bud in the mirror cannot be contained

Not a single pome-left
The architect smiles and nods his head

Because your d*ck doesn’t have what it takes
Oh no
There will be weight (weight)-gain (gain)
It's the only card I've ever read

This deck operates similarly to Hime Ninja, with Pikmin Ember at its heart - it is a bit slower; however you get the satisfaction of fielding the biggest girl of them all. A single Doremu can turn her into a solid 5-drop, so take her to the local daifuku fair and stuff her full while you wait for turn 5 (or 6). Since your entire strategy revolves around her, consider holding off an extra turn to shield her from hard removal using Ringodachis. Once she’s safe, you can duplicate her with Jelly is You, while harrassing your opponent. When it comes to this combo, AOEs and soft removals can hardly inconvenience you; however, do keep in mind that, depending on the matchup, you might be facing heavy pressure by the time you can pull it off. Both Ringodachi and Jelly is You trigger Pikmin’s ability, quickly pushing Ember past the 10/10 Schwarzschild breakpoint, recreating a few Totally Spies! episodes in the process: your opponent will learn the hard way that Ember's Young's modulus only increases the more you feed and pamper her, and that, sometimes, Just Dance's score is best measured on the Mercalli scale. The list on the right mixes the "ninja decks": it might be less frustrating to wait for the pieces you need, but the resulting combos are less likely to finish off your opponent.
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Dizzler Reanimator

Dizzler Reanimator: list

Deck Archetype: Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor or 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy, Ember, BEATRICE!
How to play? This deck simultaneously proves that Bong Joon-ho's Parasite is objectively good, and Solo Leveling objectively mediocre. And if you think I'm going to elaborate on that, you're in for a sore disappointment, passive brainlet. Lovebugs/Kindlings + Fish Launcher and Smug Wemi give you solid options for the first 2 turns, setting the stage for you to transform the game into an 8 Queens puzzle variant for your opponent. Dizzy and Ashelia can apply a deceptively large amount of pressure, weaving a tangled web out of their play lines. Muumi + Ashelia/Remi Car are devastating value swings -though a bit pricey- and Sakana can either make your Shiina into tcgia's equivalent of Age of Empires II's bombard towers, or have Muumi Pipiru Piru Piru Pipiru Pi (why is there no Dizzy cover anyway?) overtime; the choice is yours. You might sometimes feel like you cannot get value out of your cards: it's a skill issue. Pro tip: if you don't chant "keshite riraitoshite kudara nai chougensou wasureranu sonzaikan o, kishikaisei riraitoshite imi no nai souzou mo kimi o nasu gendouryoku zenshin zenrei o kure yo" throughout the game, you'll be cursed with either ED, saggy tits, or both.
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ShiinaBot Otsu Control

ShiinaBot Otsu Control: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Shiina, Ember, Yuri.
How to play? Play conservatively until you can drop your Shiinabots on the board and multiply them using Dead Cat. Alice, Shiina Hermit Crab, Smug Wemi, Ember, and Nikki can give you the time you need to set up a board which never truly Blue Screens (though it is always on the Verge of Death). Once Shiinabots are on the board, you can truly start abusing your board clears (Yuri, Hime Cube) and gain incredible value, reassembling your attackers like it's a vintage cult horror movies marathon. Cult Leader Lumi, Nurse Shiina, Venerable Ember, and Fish Launcher can also help you fix your Shiinabots when needed. Notice that God and silence are your worst nightmares, which automatically makes you a Scandinavian Metalhead according to Worship Leader Magazine - please roleplay accordingly during duels.
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Acknowledgements

If these decks cannot carry you, you should probably l2p, or stop playing against terminally-ill, overly competitive no-lifers. Actually, just get good.
Buy Phase coffee: it probably won't help, but you never know how rigged this game is until you try.

Last updated: patch 15 (03.03.25) [yeah, it's redundant. I just like useless fields]

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Pub: 09 Sep 2024 18:46 UTC
Edit: 02 Mar 2025 23:47 UTC
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