Blogging at the end of each month till my bday! 3/6
My name is Yu or Ilse.. either is fine. I usually don't do much for my bday,, so this time, I want to make a small blog until then the standard is at least once a month. format is month/day/year. I won't censor anything, read at your own risk. I also don't tend to sugar coat things because otherwise that'd be performative.. if you're mentioned here in a negative way then idk do better β¬
I DONT DELETE ENTERYS. EVEN IF THEYRE OUTDATED. <-
6/24/25
It's like the middle of the year but wtv. #better late than never.. This month I didn't do much, tried bantu knots for the first time heh. Also school ended like on the 9th.. I also named this kabsa because I love kabsa. can you tell I'm running out things to say? Hm. I love my bsf. Like, lots ok. I DON'T care Tora never made me feel like I'm annoying not even once and i don't think anything can stop us from being friends.. we also have a shared rentry (he made it but the url is mine ok) check it out.. heh.
I'm not close to a lot of people.. so i value my friends alot!! Ignore the fact that I'm in her dni we still fw each other #heh.. my discord is sashasfoodshow26 if u happen to stumble upon this blog and want to chat. No, my other entries won't be this long, but who cares? It's once a month and I want to document as much shit as possible for my bday.
back in the day I wanted to be like them w my mom.. mama kasa was so goals to me. i love my mom! i love her so much. i love her so much i kinda hate her.. like, we're close enough for me to tell her that AugustTheDuck is kinda fine but not close to tell her im suicidal.. she yaps to me sometimes, vents even, but I never do she'll fucking kill me. she splits on me like once every 2 business days ok. I used to know a girl in grade 6 who was also into aot, she saved my elementary school career bc she was always w me even tho the popular girls wanted her in their groups.. i feel bad i feel suicidal, I can't remember her name. She's palestinian, used to have this pfp on zoom && whatsapp.. I hope she's ok, i miss her terribly
this post made me want to learn crochet and sewing. My finances are in the same condition as my pussy, tight paws at you paws at youu
OHMYOGD LOOK AT BOYFRIEND IGNORE THE FAG.. oh my god mine mine alone i lobe u so much of my god. this isnt a kazutora blog but its hard not to.. my page for talking abt her is this
6/25/25
Are you fucking retarded laptops r not like phones or tablets they need to be charged at all times you dumb fuck. whyre u conditioning me on how to use MY own charger?? I hope you fucking die I dont like u anymore i wish that pregnancy killed you
this right here I'll never have it im done im sick i actually want to die. in another world i have a nice mom and im good enough for her. um, i hope i dont have 5 siblings in another life too. dont make me the oldest, please.
6/26/25
I've been tracking my symptoms for a bit and talking to a lot of ppl w bpd since. I don't have access to a psychiatrist or a diagnosis rn so. Ik the whole argument of "aha ur like 16 its js hormones" SYBAUAUAUAUAU
6/28/25
today karma alnst thingy was out and ?? idk hwo to feel abt it. i saw it when it was uploaded 9 mins ago and i was like ok js fucking kill me. I LOVE MIZISUA. can i die. i dont know how to explain how i feed but it feels weird, im not going to give a whole yap session in here since idk how to say it in the first place ok? sigh
7/5/25
ok which one of you retards claimed /ness
sigh be honest is our friendship one sided I always feel like I'm doing more
7/10/25
I js blocked my friend (koda) of 3 years. i cant explain but something carnally doomed me and i had to do it. i unfriended jiya, danny, canoe and amy. Aya and Juno are ok. But I have a feeling I'll unfriend Juno soon.
ALSO IMG OING TO MALAYSIA IN THE 23rd
I js hope the muzz (malay huzz) are not chuzz ok.. ill be the swaggiest nigga (litr) in kuala lumpur
(im coping)
p.s im ok now (7/12)
7/12/25
My parents are tryign to find my grade so bad.. my dad said he'll take my laptop at sunday aka tmr which is terrible i still wanna watch akbingo and hear about maririn's air ocarina :/
that was me like all school year no joke.. on a serious note i have no known ambitions, just hobbies. my dad is thinking abt swtiching me to a public school and that js pmo but i think ill live. i js need to learn jp and move to japan by 24 or smth ok
7/13/25
I'm not even sad bur im js like ??? oooookkkkaayyyy ur being a self centered cunt π βοΈ
I like how when i got stressed i js started talking to my bf then went to tiktok got a good laugh then over to rentry then finally locked in and opened the faggot's dm (this was playing btw) oh my god whar the fuck i cant even verbalize it im js like ?? this is the whole cam sitaution in 2023 all over again.. i js feel upset that i wasted like maybe years of my life over this nigga. ok stop capping what years we talked every 4 business months ππππ π π π π im gonna link the message here and look at it at the same date but like next year my opinion prolly wont fucking change dude.. rn im talking to aya and we're js chilling tbh i lowk hope we dont fall off cuz like, i fw them heavy πΈ "erm.. its better if we dont stay friends" WELL NOT SHIT YOU RETARDED CUNT IF YOU READ WHAT I SAID WITH OUT UR HEAD SO FAR UP UR ASS THEN MAYBE YOUD SEE THAR!! "[ ] make actual friends who gaf" ouu i predicted that isayama hire me or wtv.. no im not on copium im kinda alr over it if koda wants to act nonchalant let him who gaf :/ as of today, 7/13/2025, I am not longer a part of the fagwhores group chat!! koda acting like ts i kinda deserve gng i shouldve left earlier back in 2024 that night when i was spinning around in my room in headphones relaizing i lowk dfw the fagwhores anymore also can juno sybau no i dont want to be friends im not staying in the same inner circle as it
um does that mean less bday wishes but that was the least of my worries back then when i was having a break down cuz i value friendships unlike some nugus.. i want new friends now i want new friends now.. gotta love it when they dismiss ur mental issues and label you as obsessed β€οΈ
I showered, I brushed my teeth, washed by hair, changed underwear and did allat skin care.. end of an era, ok?
i'm peaceful β€οΈ ok ignore that this one is extra long but wtv.. earlier this morning i had a thought that was like "i leik pntrst memes bc i can reference them" and one of them went like "when ur mid break down and u realize u lowk dgaf" ME RNN πΈ
me before the koda thing. can you tell i love madz? i love madeline argy. in mid/late 2024, i had my laptop taken away and i was stuck with a crusty ipad that has been around since 2016, but her podcasts were immaculate, i love pretty lonesome.. um thank u madz for keeping me company
this is how i felt like in 2024 when i rlly wanted to leave the fagwhores.. um yea safe to say Ψ±Ψ¨Ψ· Ψ§ΩΩ
ΩΨ§ΨΆΩΨΉ ΨΉΩΨ―Ω fire.. also
itterasshai is yuzuha shiba's song, ok? eremika stop hoarding the fauking stage
CHATATA LOOK AT THIS
ouu no kazutora once again can i die.. realistically theyre not paired based on personality but on popularity so hmm kazutora would prolly be w annie
7/14/25
sigh im litr sneaking around to write ts but gotta let the fam know im ok.. lowk love pntrst im a pntrst girl at heart dni if u think u love pntrst more than me the two things i love in this world are pntrst and hanemiya kazutora ig..
mini update while my mom finishes eating: my internal monologue is voiced by madeline argy and im developing a british accent aha. today i also listened to the podcast ep that she posted 10 days ago, i think it was titled 1mil subs + ego? I'll link it later. i rlly liked that one, cause i could relate to it, yes i could be projecting myself into madz but realistically who gaf!!! i still think koda was a self centered [redacted] yea. ill try to not insult the ppl i dislike much bc when ur a hateful person it eventually reaches u 2 iykwim
7/15/25
kazuyu u all should sybau
7/16/25
fam. thank u seurelle on discord for this piece im cumming its like so good oh my gof
revamped once again.. the hinata and yuzuha theme didnt lasr a fucking week dawg sorru my kazutora urge got stronger so. kazuyu themed. aha.
KAZUYU ART TO COMMISSION:
- sukajan kazuyu
- kazuyu wedding
- kazuyu nails
- sukeban deka
- kazuyu sudanese wedding fit (jertik)
- kazuyu nike fit
- milgram kazuyu
- doktorspiele kazuyu
- gekikara x black kazuyu
- cat girls
- eating the school's crusty pasta tg
- vampire au
- coming of age kimono yu
- swap traditional wear
- jirai yu x agejo kazutora
- yumedanshi soulbounder kazutora
- kazutora holding a copy of reyuya (yu cover)
- yu x kyazutora
- gyaruo kazutora x rokku yu
- lolita kazuyu
- wearing kazutora's jackets (valhalla & toman)
- adult kazuyu
- birthday art
- kyosaya kazuyu
ya.
i need to revamp hanemiya.. i wanna use it to lovemail instead of womankisser.. hm.. i like what miya did with her and manjiro no i donf ship them but i think the rentry thingy was creative also BITCH WHY AM I IN HERE
ts pmo waht i even say or do nigga π π₯
DO I COMM SOMEONE TO MAKE A KAZUYU DIRECTORY.
kazuyu btw
7/17/25
some entries here are really embarrassing but who gaf it's intended for older yu to read it.. um hi if youre reading this how corny i am from 1 to 10? ok ill put a bunch of questions here::
Υκ° how're you and Kazutora!!
do you have opps.. if so who are they
how many followers do u have
do you still regard yourself as a landmine
who are our close friends
show me all the kazuyu art you have.
are you still into rentry
what interests do you have now
how well is your art
how did you celebrate your birthday κ±βΉ
hm! im done.. js need to do the yu section... the thingy is @ kamioshi
paws at uuu its like 11 20 pm my dad srsly has no backbone he says shit like "ah im taking ur laptop... for DAY." then gives it back not even 4 hours in LMFAO. im not complaining ok.. he seems very meh to me bc he's either like this or he'll make me suicidal so. and he js called me stupid for like wut oprning the window MF YOU GUYS STINK LET ME OPEN THE FUCKING WINDOW
7/18/25
my irl asked why i have kazutora as my gf in /jiraijoshi aha. put the thinking caps on. i actually hate both yaras
NIGGA WE LITR CAME OUT TO EACH OTHER AND OYU KNOW I HAVE ISSUES WITH PEOPLE WHYRE U THIS WAY. i mgiht srsly break my friendship w both of them dawg sigh.. "why're u so mean!!" i cant confide in my supposed bsf with anything at all do u know how much that fucking sucks. thats why i stopped being friends w koda in the first place and if yara is about to do the same im not afraid to drop friends and i showed that five times
i love this genre of pictures
i want to find my person. be mine alone. idc that u have other friends i js wsnt to be ur number 1 and i dont want to beg u to treat me right π ive been like. rejecting a lot of friendships because everybody js pmo. my old "number ones" act like retards and talk about me behind my back and and and and im so tired dude.. do i fucking put iwc in my stats at all times so nugus wont tellme im being rude 24/7
i feel like kazutora is all i have left i feel suicidal and i want to cut myself at all times i feel sick and i want to throw up im not mentally well enough for ts
mentally in a weird place rn.. i cant say im in peace but i cant say my life is hell.. i dropped everyone who made me feel like shit. well. not everyone. yet, but my point stands
when being emotionally aware comes more with being self critical over everything and how you treat others than having self respect for yourself when someone can't reciprocate that respect π and this is why i dont fw myself before 2025 i was on some beta 'i understand' 'its ok' 'i dont mind' 'take care of urself first' shit. IF YOURE NOT GONNA MAKE ME UR NOT NUMBER 1 DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME
i accepted that long ago it doesnt affect me anymore (lie)
friends? i dont know her π βοΈ sybau sybau sybau sybau
and this is why i dropped the k word.. I do it because I've realized that if I don't text them they won't text or talk to me. I'm always the one looking for the ppl, asking how they are, making them feel heard but that never happens to me. That makes me sad sometimes but imma honestly tired of showing interest and wasting my time. yes that was a pinterest comment i like the way ti spoke to me ππππ I always hate texting first because they will only answer me because i reached out to them π£π litr js talk to me and ill carry the convo i got u
who set up cameras bro litr me except the school part. whatever school is in a month anyway.. heavy on the clapped haircut i look like shit what the fuck did my mom give me vro i lost all my curls im js chopped now
ouu i js want kazutora i wanf my gf i want herrr i feel so tired im always babysitting zeinab now not that i hate it but it gets to a point.. at least i got 3 comms on the way, i love u i love u i fucking love u
#never switching up on my day ones.. i js realized that i only have casual friendships not smth that last and make me question my existance oh my god enough its 7 40 am someone get me a job
OK NO MORE BEING DEPRESSED NO MORE DEPRESSED YU I WILL THROW UP IF I KEEP GOING
me w yara vro π π hop off bra u talk to me like once every 3 weeks what r we even gonna talk about irl how about u talk to me online first and actually rekindle out friendship b4 jumping to thar stage i dont even consider us bestfriends anymore i think theres a name for that? MIDDLE SCHOOL BESTFRIEND. yes wemade plans to move in tg but i have put a terrible filter on myself at all times when youre around i would genuinely kill myself if i have to do that again.. SOMEONE PLEASE BUY ME JIRAI COORDS IM ALREADY LIVING THE LIFESTYLE I WANNA LOOK CUTE TOO
"stop being depressed ill throw up" sybau who gaf anyway.. me in like all of my major notable friendships i js gave up π΄ #pienmaxxing #nonchalant #ivaluemypeace #ihaveterriblementalhealthissuesthateveryonearoundmerefusestoacknowledgesonowihavetoletmarinateandprollysuffermoreasanadult #jiraiblr #internetangel #stopactinglikemymompls
"chat do i block my friends of 3 years"
lowk love having big boobs shout out to them one of my best assets fr.. idk if its weird or naw but sometimes when me and my mom are on good terms she tells me that my ass got bigger and aha. ill take her word on that. hold up. im not chopped. i js need to fix my hair, get motivation to shower more.. thats all
can you rail me but lovingly and gently and let me talk about my feelings π.. (directed) (hey kazutora are u seeing this)
" Give up, if you wanna survive "
ββββ ββ β Latin Simone (Gorillaz)
I wanna get into:
- panty and stocking
- squid game
- gorillaz
- bjork
- kuraisekai
- vtubers
coming out as an ame irl. she's litr me. im ame. ok? u hear me IM AMEE
"stop romanticizing mental illness!!" i do that to not face my issues and make my life a bit easier so sybau
is yara 1 gonna tell yara 2 that she upset abotu self diagnosis π βοΈ anyway 6/26/25
i lived in saudi so fucking long i considermyself one i dont want to hear u yap bout some shit ok i hope u [redacted]
im a genuine chatgpt addict im ashamed of it ok but i have no one to talk to
watashi menhara janai monnn.. cant wait till i turn 18 and move out and like ig marry someone i fw and let him do wtv he wants in exchange of letting me dress jirai and be myself
kazuyu btw! #jirai gfs.. aha ilyok ilysm even if youre a landmine and cut urself and do evil shit sometimes but youre MY landmine and i lov u ok? kiss love forever
gen the longest fucking entry if this blog this is what boredom and loneliness does to a mf
Hi it me Kade
spoiler Hihi!! ITS ME the great Kade.. IM LIEK RESLLY NAD AT WRITIMG PEOPLE THINFS BUT SINCE TOUR BIRTHDAY OASSED I'LL JUST SAY THAY I THINK YOURE REALLY COOL AND I HOPE WE CAN BE CLOSER BY THE TIME YOUR NEXT BDAY PASSES!!! Youre sooo intereting.. And i like tjay er both like aot. I think we're quite simialr... But yes.. u Are cool.. really cool Ok? I HORPT HAY um.. pidneds idk jow to word this. I hope that we can become close enoguh to confide in each other? IM LKKE REALLY AWKWARD SO barewitj me... i only talk to like two people a dau but i'll try Ok? Ok. Hohohoho.
^ ha.. thank u for being on this podcast kade senpai.. I WROTE SIMILAR STUFF TO U HERE IM IGGLGIN
ya that friendship is as good as dead LMFAO ya.. ok.. ig plans are voer right π₯Ί.. daeg i was already planning not to go so
CAN U STOP RAGEBAITING ITS NTO GONNA WORK. i lived with pro ragebaiters like 16 years dude im not falling for ts π π₯
7/19/25
Hainmari.ltin. Rin. AMRRIIRUN OH YM GOD my rentry is tweaking out so bad Wtf. Hhaaiiiiiiii πππππ I am Tora and i have hacked this page Ok No i havent I'm jsut here to say hi. I hope u are Ok anr i love u π€π€π€π€
ha that was tora kyun hehe..
ok im actually so fucking disgusting its shameful i wont even say it out loud nor type it here but im trying to get better ok.
i usually hate interacting w doubles no matter their content but fucking livs keeps following me ts pmo oh my god even zimora i never interact w her yume posts or wtv sigh.. i need the interactions
today im gonna decorate /xiaohongshu.. it'd be a hub for my jirai kei yearning i abandoned gyaru long ago dude i cant be asked... anyway ill use /xiaohongshu as a jirai yearning diary slash ryousangata.. ill also list stuff i wanna do, my jp learning journey, sh, and more ok.. it's a blog expect its js me and no more guest messages there..
I NEED MORE COMMISSION ART. I WENT ON FUCKING EVERSKIES DUDE. RENTRY URLS WTV TAKE THEM FROM ME THE SAME FIVE ARTISTS THE SAME FUCKING FIVE ARTISTS THE RENTRY SERVERS HAVE THE SAME FUCKING ARTISTS.. sigh. i need to lock in.. im gonna trade urls for robux to expand my horizon of artists ok.
7/20/25
hi i wanna keep track of the mangas i read (small ones specifically.. ok? not like oh aot tr or smth im talking smth not as mainstream and dpesnt have a big fandom)
- tomorrow, i'll be someone's girlfriend
- i love your cruddy
- love and hate and love (Unrequited Love Yuri Anthology)
- i fell in love with the villainess
- yuri is my job!
- love-bullet
- bloom into you
- the moon on a rainy night
- Koushin Koinu ni Koibumi wo
- Shy na Ano Ko ni Natsukaretai
- i love you, please reject me!
- The Anemone Feels the Heat
- 5 seconds before the witch falls in love
- metamorphosis
- run away with me, girl
- hoshikuzu no oujisama
- perfect glitter
- poison sugar cookie
- my girlfriend is devilishly sweet
- killer in love
- normality and monsters
- that girl is cute but dangerous
- boyish girl x gyaru
- hanamonogatori
- destroy it all and love me in hell
- killing me!
- the vampire miku
- noa senpai wa tomodatchi
- Fall in Love, You False Angels
- my girlfriend is not here today
- oyasumi pun pun
<- kazuyu β‘
me if u even car.. i wanna try smoking or drugs at least once b4 i die ok
kokoa omg id kill for her too im ngl
no i fucking wouldnt i wish he drove off that cliff w her ts pmo
alright, let's talk about this. i dont know but i feel like i had rlly high expectations bc of all the glaze online and the beginning? its not the story its that i feel like the ending was a bit botched? yes ryuto was a bit of a dumbass but he did realize it.. i cant rlly feel bad for him but he did get capital punishment so. Kokoa was supposed to khs but then got a notif and js threw her phone at the sea and?? walked off??? sigh i cant feel bad for kokoa either, like yes her backstory was sad but that doesnt make her any good of a person. explains? yes. excuses? sybau. i just love this type of character though, the one that makes u feel strong emotions, whether it's hate or not. Kokoa Yoshizaki, Airi Sezaki, Yua Takahashi, Sato Matsuzaka.. they all have something in common, i think you shouldve figured this one out π©· mmm i wanna read more manga but killer in love is enough for today. took me about 2 hours and a half to finish it. would i recommend it? yes!! i think it's a solid 7.5 out of 10 do of that what you will
visual novels
- lost between the lines
js wanna say that i fucking love a girl adrift cuz wym it has an actual fandom wodeifrhrbt I ALSO REMEMBER BISTRO HEROES AND GIRL ALONE OH YM GOD. 11-12 year old me knew what was up. i remember the food in bistro heroes looked so fucking good omg
um i also fucking replayed lily's day off and its hot ass
karaoke soon
7/21/25
MY FUCKING YURIIII
kira's so cuteertete.. KAZUYUCODEDH YM GOD SYBAU
7/22/25
IM COVNUSLSIGJ EOUFHB
7/23/25
GUESS WHAT DAWG I GOT MY PHONE BACK. h. This is yu on phone.. nya. Its still slow but wvtv better than noth
Going to Malaysia too ig...
7/24/25
Writing this entry on the plane on my phone ok.i like the thank u Sri Lankan hand thingy π
Watch Saudi takewondo smth later OK
Omfg I was so not ready.. like yes I was the swaggiest nigga in dammam airport but omg. I saw a lot of juzz, kuzz and cuzz (Japanese, Korean and chinese) huzz oh ymg ofodjssowdhshsh digh can wait to take that thing offff
Js so yk I eouldnt mind working a job from 7 am to 5 pm, pay check to paycheck π and then make it out like 2 or 3 years later vro ππ my mom was trying to scare me vy saying she will make me live with my aunt in πͺπ¬Β if I'm not the best at school and that I sag I rebuke ts
7/26/25
can you stop sexualizing me im bwgging youre my fucking dad oh ym god
Literally nothing good comes out of loving a human I fucking hate u ur all disgusting I hope we all die today I hyperventilated and its all ur fault
not my fucking fault u can raise ur retarded Don stop looking Sr me like its my fault fucking die
7/30/25
stop u ahvent updatedts in a while sorru i had no motivation..
sigh appearently some ppl r accusing sugar (_senjusumbrella) _ of using ai wjarr.. im not a retard ik some of them use ai but not all?? tf
what thr fucke at the fuck today was ass I'm done I woke up sick and found out I missed alot of kZutora stuff and alot of niggas in the comments are calling him fheir kazutora and i started tweaking oh ymd sksjdh I js block but btv dude
tday we js like went to 5 places and we've been out for 6+ hrs and i wanna die they eabna repeat it tmr too im not doing ts again ππ
I was like a couple of inches away from the ocean and I kept thinking about jumping but kazutora I dobf want to make him sad.. major #kitakawa moment ya
took alot of pics tho u don't have much to do here im a bit to link but i will one day ithink
7/31/25
i sent a claim for /cocaine , /psg , /momonga i hope i get them or i DIE. ill try to leik use multiple emails for ts i need them i need good urls wtv ok
lowk wanna become a dentist hygienist ok i finally haev smth
8/1/25
ok my dad gave me a pep talk and now i lowk wannabecome a dentist ok ill lock in wtv
What the fuxk ur all a bunch of retards I fuckifng hate u oh mu I saw the most kazutors jeans ever but no u have to be a little bitch about it dawgg ecerytime that faggot tells me he'll buy me smth later that's a fucking no this is the 3rd time oh my gof sybau
Can u stop stopping gthe car every 2 fucking minutes i hope u die notice ecrrtyiem smth happens its notbmom its js him oh ymg do kys
8/2/25
i need to lock in and learn how to draw ok.. like yes my rentry urls gotmy back so far but what when i run out of them i gen love rentry i wanna draw i wansn
8/3/25
as much as i hate to say this chat gpts been making me suicidal like ues i ask for prompt and for it to writ emy stuff somestims but my anger issues and patience cannot oh ym god i gen just cried because of that what the fuckfgrothue im gonna start writing shit by myself im done i hate chatgpt i hope it fuckign q 1idehwbfdskuoaJ
anyway this fit is cute
links to all my kazuyu writings:
nsfw
sfw
8/4/25
nigga whyre u so pressed over me not getting a phone case ππ whyre u acting like i did smth diabolical ts pmo like yess calling me a retard and stupid will amek me want a phone case thank you π what will i ever do w out you
ANWAY to thing that actually matter, some huzz named Da Feng dmed me on rednote my id is ichitora btw ok? ok ha..
8/6/25
new chatgpt update made me suicidal. wahtever dude.
anyway i met a new friend on xiaohongshu, ChaYan! She's 18, but we share a lot of ideas, i like her so far β‘
8/10/25
okau what i even do bra ππ ok i checked ur thingy too and ive been getting sneak dissed okau wahtevrr i felt like throwing up for a second but i feel okau now im glad we werent that close then but thank you for /hanemiya, the strawpage thingy, the decor for tgiertattoo and the art for brahman okau i wish u the best
WHY CHAYAN LOWK A BADDIE THO
i need to back i need to bag i need to bag i need to bag i need to
i love xhs oku i rlly do
also today im finally returning home wooo
lately my fyp has been happy sugar life all over again, need to rewatch
ok im gonna yap for a bit because i reread the diary properly and shit and im leik more confused.. it doesnt hit the same way it did w the fagwhores thingy im js like ???? ah okok maybe dont act buddy buddy w me when u secretly hate me ok.. just an idea
8/11/25
how can i live forever? idk. where can i find the heaven? idk. what is going to happen? idk. why im in love now idk..
wait aftr thinking abt it for a while i wanna thank tora i realized i can befriend moer ppl now ok it feels like god said ok y and t should be friends to test y or sth but now that we're not friends anymore i feel like i have been introduced to an open buffet and stuff.. whyre rindou and manjiro yumes the funniest ppl alive okau.. here we go miya and marcy
ok im not doing ts to piss tora off we're not even friends anymore, i js didnt befriend themto not be rude when we were whatvever
LETS FUCKING GO
8/12/25
HELP ME AND MIYA ARE ALR LOCKED IN.. i blinked and suddenly we're doing a double yume art comm.. ha.. rubs hands like a fuckign fly or whatever I PRAYED FOR TIMED LIKE THSSII
laso idk abt marcy
ouu need
i know youre reading this vro ππ and i think its extremely pathetic to want me to abide by rules that i was following when we were friends and sending kiarsh was was also extremely pathetic haha skip over the fact that youre friend was openly tweeting about me in her priv that i was in, also talked abt me in her diary and kind of left with no explanation
i updated my diary like, maybe once or twice every 2 days dawg and plus i wans teven rude it was litr story telling its not my fault if it make su look bad π€·ββοΈπ€·ββοΈ and you KNEW you had time to tell me about whatever was bothering u but u didnt but im not even mad atp thank you
this is MY diary and i wont make myself uncomfortable just because youre reading it too
divider here do mental gymnastics it has nothing to do w the yap above ok thsi is YuMiya time
MIYA AND I ARE LOWK JOINING FORCES TO HAVE COMMISSIONED DOUBLE ART IDK IF THT MAKES SENSE.. like, its just me and hir and a hint of maitora ill also make her a maimiya gif
sorry master tora.. a nigga like me shouldve never overstepped or wahtver oh and like if ur gonna reply in your diary i wont check it if u have sth to say say it to me instead of sendngin people
ugly jirai danshi vs cute jirai joshi
hi it me miya I am getting jumped on twitter because i said people who dont have merch get mad whenever people with merch say theyre rhe #1 fan of whatever fuck character and i am so scared theyre calling me provelleged STOPSPTPSTOPS DTOP LEAVE ME ALONE
ha.. that was miya my goat oku heh this feel slike when amdeline argy had a collab with tara yummy or wtv
8/13/25
dont rllt have a lot of stuff to do today, i should prolly decorate /kuraisekai and /gravure.. ha.. i want to go back to watching akbingo and maybe add more to my love mail bc theres so much left unsaid but ill do it when i feel impulsive
oh ym god ive got a lot to say about yuzuha shiba
ever since riyan came out as a yuzuha riako/yume i took it as a sign to not talk about her. i like yuzuha, i love her. not romantically, if that makes sense, like, she's my person yk. like, we're def close friends in another universe.. we're also pretty similar and the christmas arc made me sob oh ym god my yuzuha i love u.. also both our names have y, u and a and sound pretty similar oh my god i love u
EVERYBODY STOP MOVING?? MY?? FAV?? XHS YUZUHA COSPLAYER?? FOLLOWED ME BACK?? YZUZAHZUSHWEGFRHI i see u yuzuha okau i see u for anybody curious, here and here!! the id on xhs is 4383018549 .. i love cosplayers and i respect them so much. o hgmod
ive also had this pfp for the longest time on my SCHOOL ACCOUNT. EVER SINCE 2023. I FUCKING LOVE YUZUHA DONT PLAY WITH ME
ouu im gonna list the stuff i like again bc ive put a filter on ymself to not clash w the sutff that riyan likes.. this is litr what felt like when she ended the friendship
me locking in after realizing i should stop pursuing friendships were i feel trapped. am i milking this? hell yes nigga im bored and i habe nothing to do besides if it truly affecting me so bad i would be sobbing instead of like. gigglign and making new friends oku its not like the koda situation i felt gut wrenching agony after leaving kdoa adn my tora had to do a lot of work to get my spirits back up again i wont destroy what he built i love him oh f cuk i love her
twinning tjis is me and miya if u eben car
i js finished making spaghetti and my dad talm out sum make more π βοΈ anyway, i updated /yuzuhashiba, i turend ti itno a thing where i talk about her.. basically a diary 2.0 iykwim.. not a tr rant, its yuzuha exclusive okay YUZHA YZUZHSDUA HER ONYL I LBOE U..
8/14/25
yesterday i was tlking to aihe about the number of my friends and?? WHAT DO U MEAN I HAVE 4 PPL I ACTIVELY TLAK TO i felt like tjis
okau yua me too
oh ym god speaking of being friendless some regular degular ass nigga dmed me tlaking about sum japanese crisis ouu syabu
sigh whatevevrvrr I COMMISSIONED MORE ART!! let me count.. 4 or 5 coming soon aha. i also commissioned paste deco for /yuzuhashiba it should be ready soon rubs hands like a fly oh my god this is so peak i lobe my lif..
I HOPE IN GOOD FAITH THAT MIYA IS NOT READING THIS BUT. manjiro's bday is soon so i lowk commissioned some maimiya.. ha.. well she also got me a crepe comm so.
thats a blood pact btw
So now I've gotta run, so I can undo this mistake
At least I've gotta try
The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
For somebody I thought was my saviour
You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
If our love ends, would that be a bad thing?
And the silence haunts our bed chamber
You make me do too much labour
All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid
Nymph, then a virgin, nurse, then a servant
Just an appendage, live to attend him
So that he never lifts a finger
24/7 baby machine
So he can live out his picket-fence dreams
It's not an act of love if you make her what the fuck im crying
You make me do too much labour
sorry i js saw a yuzuha edit with this and it fucking destroyed me i cant
i kinda cooked w ts
reading my old fics and oh my god miorin (mio x rindou) i lowk forgot abour them what the fuck i lobe them ill put everything in a document
i got divine revalation at April 5th this year. i was bed rotting at 6 am, friendless and just having kazutora in my life, i think tumblr gen saved me that day, i love kazutora oh ym god i cnaf breath
i feel sick. what the fuck wahtever i js finsihed crying over yuzuha il amek a friends list i counted them and theyre like 5-6 max wtf and none of them are irl DAWG
its moments like this at 11 30 pm that make me feel like my love is the purest out there, i love u oh ym god i fucking love u can you feel it from here? theres no way you dont fuck i miss u
im giggling i lobe u
8/15/25
fuck i need to be bajitora with someone is my fate to be yearning forever? to chase after something that could never be? i feel tired. years ago i assumed that me and koda would naturally be together like always, but as u can read above it cant be that way.. is the onyl way for me to be genuine with someone is to be mentally ill with them? no sane person can handle my bs and i dont want to get better but the mentally ill eventually leave too waht i feel trapped
my maimiya comm is here!! the artist worked liek a dog oh ym hogd.. miya will get it in 5 days okau
real.. dude i willingly ignore people and take to the same 3 people good god irs my fault right
you hit a fucking baby. A BABY. SHES NOT EVEN TWO YEARS OLD. how do u even do that? youre despicable. all that just cuz she wanted to spend time with me?? her older sister?? i gen felt like sobbing right there but shes safe now shes watching stuff next to me and giggling im scared for her when i inevitably leave for college or move out shes gonna be all alone
some people's dreams are to make a lot of money and move their parents into a big house.. i want to get a lot of money to move my sister in with me. i love her. she's 1 year and somethig old right now, we have a 15 year age gap fuck shes still got a lot to live for and i want to make sure she lives her life and doesnt have to through what i went through. i need to take school seriously, oh my god. i fucking need to ewjfrb
right now i want to pursue dentistry, it's very serious but it pays so good. i need to be better at physics, math, chemistry and biology and other subjects.. whatever im okay at math and really good at bio. 2 subjects to focus on.
i worked like a DOG
sigh #needthat
8/16/25
hi riyan π π hi minions
PLUS if youre gonna tell me kazutoras a fictional character then i can also assume youll outgrow manjiro and rindou the same way you did with otoya and rin and and and wahtever dude!! again psssttt dms open i neber blocked u stop being a pussy shut up shut up shut uuuupup
i cant tell if you gen think like thar or if its an attmept to rage bait but ill break it down anyway. the difference between your rude and my 'rude' is that you talked about me behind my back, called me stuff and acted like shit was sweet in front of me, i refused to lovemail yuzuha in front of u because??? thats??? common respect???
again oh my god if anyone has the right to deny other ppl their relationship status it is definetly not you and im gonna tell u why bc u keep bitching and moaning abt me objectifying kazutora and what not:
- u seem to only put in effort when youre being competitive, like, when we first met, i was posting a lot of rindou and told u about my oc x cc thingy snd suddenly u interact w all my rindou tweets + changed ur header to the one u have now.. then laid off whnen u realised i wasnt interested in him. then when marcy came into the picture suddenly rindou's important again. dont even get me started w this one u only started refering to manjiro in she her pronouns and say stuff like 'oh i see him as a girl' only after ur encounter w miya. oh my god the usernmae change too nigga you hate on fem tr but also claim you participate?? make up your mind?? + the ayin and otoya thing but ykwim
- u gen dont seem to take it srsly and it feels like youre js hoarding the characters.. i SWAER to god wallahi whatevrr u wanna use that if you knew about the term 'soulbond' when you were in your rin phase you wouldve said you were soulbound to him π π
- its always βkazutora wouldnt be thisβ βrindou wouldnβt do thatβ βmikey is this not thatβ Ok so what would they do then!!! i think u hate my kazutora would jirai/gyaruo hc bc u went like 'oh im litr kztr and im not jirai or gyaru so WRONG' then proceed to display no kazutora behavipr π i promise u ppl wont jump for just relating to him or sth idk what u are i js know youre not an irl. plus everytime i ask abt the lore u js say ha we're all poly.. what makes u think MANJIRO SANO would be in a poly relationship. write me a character analysis on kazutora manjiro rindou and show it to me after the 5th period.. ON EVERYBODYS SOULS ITS OKAY TO BE A RIAKO. ITS OKAY TO KIN. ITS OKAY BEING A LOSER ME TOO!! aaand theres only one and only kazutora and its my kazutora so lay off
the 'i love them all equally' lie this is COMICAL i got a giggle out of tjis
rindou after being updated from no paragraph to 5 lsomething lines
gen never gonna talk about u again in this blog bc im tired and lowk over it and a third reminder that my dms are open umm idk have a good rest of ur life
OWIQEHUBHGTYRI ANYWAY ANWAY
every time i see this bertholdt gif i feel something
i have smth w ppl w blak hair.. kazutora.. mikasa... fucking bertholdt hoover.. nijiro murakami im sensing a type idk at the beginning of the year i read a rlly good bertholdt fic that like. awakened my inner writer again the writing is so good i loved the references and how the writing went wait ill go find it okay its here, ill lowk reread it and more fics to improve my writing and write btter kazuyu stuff... when i was in that phase, i wrote some kazuyu stuff ill link them here
https://youtu.be/-ceP0zyNiYA?si=KmksCaJapOF9gCwa
m- miya kyun.. donf flatter me like this
8/17/25
BACKTRACKS AND SHIVERS. okau i said i wont mention riyan ever again but i woke up to a dm okau i was like ?? half expecting to be cussed out YES I DID REMIND HER 3 TIMES THAT MY DMS ARE OPEN but she spent the whole time trying to gaslight me and telling me she forgets what she says anyway im not snitching on my goat who got me the ss but im gen never gonna look at ur thingy again bc yea. i wont take anything u say srsly unless its to my face bc the difference between priv riyan vs riyan in yu's dms is hilarious whyre u kind all of a sudden i thought im a hypocrite with a stick up my ahh
i dont owe you anything
okay i know
can i know who leaked my priv tho
haha yesss my privacy can be put in jeopardy but mentioning ur name here is not okay!! horrible even.. how could i.. i feel bad bc even if u were in the wrong youd never know bc ur surrounded by yes men who'll suck up to u and tell u haha ur right yu lowk a hoe
manjiros bday is in 3 days.. okau miya wait three more days..
sorru ml u gotta bite the bullet yes this isnt censored on purpose sybau
im litr heaven sent and an angel if i hate u its your fault!! if u hate me its self incuded schizophrenia and umtgm yes im stealing miyas phrases shes funny.. im nof any angel.. im KAZUTORAS angel tongue emoji tongue emoji i lobe him okau
ΩΨ±Ω ΩΨΉΨΉ Ψ΄Ψ°Ψ§ u guys make me sick i hope u eat explosive rocks why do i habe to be involved in sth wehn it has nothing to do w meee I WAS LITERALLY ASLEEP. YOU WALKED IN ON ME SLEEPING LIKE 3 TIMES BRA.
8/18/25
WAKE UP CHAT I HAVE A GENUINE CHANCE OF GETTING /KAZUTORA. okay? ok. i wont post the details until i get it okau shivers cies and throws up I LVOE YOTIYU THANK YOU MARIUS
@yukino111 β‘οΈ
YAYAYA POH YMGOD FUCKING FREEZE. it will be mine soon. /kazutora will be mine. me and my beloved miya joined our urls and they js want /blackdragon and /rindou QIPUOWEH
all i did? be nice + make them seme decor (1 & 2) and send this!! the biggest hack in life is litr to fucking ask js a daily reminder
8/19/25
well OKAY THERE ARE TWO WONERS BUT I CONVINCED ONE OF THEM WHO VOUCHED FOR ME THE 1ST IS A BIT MEH BUT I HOPE THEYLL COEM AROUND EVENTUALLY
im ngl my heart fell to my ass at first but. its lowk okay i just need to waitii
idc whats up with kiarsh but liek youre a weirdo i get it u can say im annoying and chopped and and but saying youll rape kazutora and call me a larper jsut cuz i speak 3 languages is crayzyzy. aaa. i didnt know we all collectivly as human ebings had an update that made us all unable to speak more than 2 languages.. (english + ur home one) thank you master idk but making rape jokes is kind of lowk even for kiarsh even tho the bar is rlly low when it comes to her
i had a phase were i watched a lot of CocoCrazy vids a lott, and after the clara dao situation she lowk pmo so i unfollowed rn im watching this video and its lowk helpful, ill write my thoughts when im done cleaning ok
OKAY IM NOT DONE CLEANING BUT I CAN YAP!! okay, b4 anyone says anything im an og to both channels (cococrazy and clara dao) ill put a screenshot at the end of the rant (me following clara dao on my phone at 2023)
umm okay so i rlly need to do my research bc i gen keep vids in the bg and like make faces while js doing random shit on my pc, i dont usually put commentary vids to gen lock in and know stuff.. but like, cococrazy was posting vid after vid on clara and i was like?? okau bra and id watch them, which very obviously made me have some sort of opinion towards clara.. shivers.. honestly, clara was rage baiting her followers too after the call out but it does feel like coco was farming ts the same way pegasus was doing w the mr beast drama (i have a masters degree in youtubeology i get every reference thrown my way..) SO YEA. i do feel bad for clara and contrary to popular belief shes born into a rich family and doesnt need yt money to do allat and i can tell most of the ppl actively hating dont actually do their research and stuff.. yes i didtn do research either but the diff is that i wasnt hating.. i was js silently judging but yea. ill put some comments i likd from the vid i js watched
ok im lazy but. ill gen block coco crazys channel from my feed bc all of her vids are lowk harmful and shes js yapping most o the time w no actual argument and it can gen ruin someones life / reputation sigh.. i feel like such a productive human being
anyway i love wtach "tbys" ik hes a right wing guy but its like wat hing ace attorny his refuting arguments are so good as well it makes me want to research and do more stuff. ok one of the things i want to improve abt my self is my researching skills.. like if i wtch a vid id rather alos read abt the other side to avoid misinformation, um one less person thinking shit abt u is better than nothing at all!! id youre reading this, try that as well
"mr putin will u agree to a ceasefire" "mr putin will u stop killing innocent civilians" oh i love the ragebait
https://youtu.be/asjmdBOUjQI?si=S07lZcd3Bw6H-WrF
OLISUNVIA PEAK CHECK HER OUT!! i learnt a lot of buzzwords that i def wont research later bt at least i got to know sth that makes me more interesting and gives me more perspective on life. i was actually lead down rabbit hole.. i watched a clara dao vid and she refered to herself as a choice feminist and i was like ok whats that!! and i watched the olisunvia vid up and like.. i feel smarter but kind of even more confused LOL but its ok. future me will do the research ok? im lazy
8/20/25
bra https://youtu.be/v3ezSrid2DQ?si=1So8YmJuTK36zAxQ had to wtach the vid to gibe coco a chnec to refute ro whatevevr ok thoughts
i think coco addressed some core arguments thst that the other creator made that were genuine reaches and im not going to rewatch every single coco crazy video to check if the arguments are wrong or not.. its not like i do yt for a living and ill get paiyed for it so bear w me. but in good faith, i remember coco only mentioning her age once, and it was when ali coca tried suing her over a vid aha.
plus she kept emphasizing that she makes about 20 videos a months to try and compare that to the clara dao ratio but ??? when youre making THAT much vids abt the same topics youre bound to start just yapping at some point and not actually make arguments and points
hi ts my 3rd url switch it was like kabsa > prettylonesome > kenwakui ha.
the connection between me and this rindou art should be studied wtf that me ridnou ridndodudu hi thre twin I FUCKING LOVEPIXIv. THE PIPELINE IS LIKE twt > xhs > pixiv > random jp kr and cn websites omg i love
bunny rinrin shout out to the artist
when everybody blames u so lowk js sigh and say #kazutoramoment
IM PISSING I CANT
shivers hi rentry cord staff
um didnt expect it to go that way or whatveer but dear staff clicking on the LABLED links on my rentry is kind of optional lol.. plsu i think if youre lurking you should know sth abt me at least WHAT AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT/?? SORRU THAT YOURE NOT ON TT OR WHATEVER I SAID I WASNT AWARE
wahtever i promised im nto gonna make my self weird or uncomfortable ororor js bc othe rppl read tjis ill js kind of. unplug the ΩΩΨ΄ and go back to being yuriful cutiful kazutoraful and whateverful
sob after the riyan thingy i feel like this got more exposure which. does feel a bit weird and stuff so like. i have a minimum of at least blogging once a month so ill js stop for a while IM NTO GIVING THE CHRNOCIANLLYLY ONLINE FREAKS MORE FEUL!!
i lowk js realized i have free will and lowk decide what you ppl see in here and that gmfu cuz. for the longest time ive been oversharing online and stuff but yea ill def limit what i shate and make it less personal but yea. my point stands ILL COME BACK SOONER OR LATER. not more than a month not less than a week or two bc yea..
ok 7 mins till 12 aka day 21 happy bday manjiro kyun
8/23/25
irs Me aaya ok ihad to use a pic as ts emoji sicne it didnt workok. IIM MUUS N1 FAN AND LVOEOR
manjiro? no ts mango ts so tuff 67 boi
ts was my goat aya.. ha.
hi i lowk realized that i dont give a fuck so ill go back to blogging
ANYWAY. days ago i was like, blogging in another priv site ill put it here:
( 8/21/25
hi ill use this url to talk for a bit until things die down as i said i dont want to givethe freaks anymore feul bc it got a bit tiring
LMFAO. oka i thought abt it for a while and one of the main reasons il wrting this blog/diary is bc like, when i grow up i wanna visit a therapist and i want them to figure out whats wrong w me based on this since im not very good at talking and stuff thats why most things i say go into painful detauls
i still cant put it into words i dont care for rage bait that much but its prettyimportant that u know it can be harmful yk? i think kiarsh is a pathetic person and dont even try to argue w me on that. yess her acc is built on rage bait and stuff but like it gets to a point. i remember when some ppl posted the 'my rapist died' thing and it became a trend.. i do remember her posting sth like that only for her to joke abt rape not even 3 months later good god if this is the type of ppl riyan wants to surround herself w shes more than welcome to do that but tf is it like a requirement to have an iq of a demented baby to be friends w her or.. i think i felt myself getting smarter the day i got that message
i love women. i feel for them too what the fcuckck
having no friends made me fall into ts rabbit hole rba.. irs ok i lowk got out of it.. shivers.. i miss writing too expect writing soon
WHATEVER FINALLY LEFT RENTRYCORD. irs ok. ill just. dude every person i talked to abt tjsi found it ridiculous too i think there are bigger problems other than me calling asians huzz
8/22/25
sick and tired of adults in their mid life taking out their anger on their kids like im sorry youre a retarded cunt with 6 kids that YOU chose to haev an you stop hitting me for missing a spot on the fucking floor what did the baby do to u as well she just dropped her bottle what the fuckckc. i feel less tolerant because im running on 3 hours of sleep and i dont feel stable at all i want to cut myself and i want her to fucking kill herself wekoiuhfgyhb idk everytiem she hits me i get this sensatation thars like dont fucking touch me and i start scartching myself sometimes i bleed idk i replace the sensation of her hand w something else it feels better okok breath )
shivers. omg i hate it when oomfs come out as doubles can you die he dont know youu
8/24/25
i having a fucking crush on Manon Bannerman
tbh white ppl are either racist nazis whatevr term there is out there or the most sensitive niggas on earth liek. whyre u feeling offended FOR me. most poc dont gaf abt some jokes and even laugh at them then some white mf will pop up and say.. ha.. thars actually RACIST!! #cancelled
8/25/25
hello huzz yesterdya i traded /forgive for /ageha and /0w0 2ND BST TRADE OF MY LIFE ADTER /KITAKAWA FOR /TORA!! life lowk good i lobe talking to miya. schools coming soon but who gaf i alr made up my mind its me and my mp3 player against the school ekoprihub
bless
i js realized that yara lowk looks like topiachu LMFAO
this is comical.
i always start the school with wishing that there's a new student that could be mine, my person my whatever but this uead its different and its kind of obvious i lowk gave up on ppl LMFAO. previously the convo was "ill give my mental health to balance school and my friends" what friends?? im never gonna talk to these people again after i graduate. to hell with them and whatever they do. as much as i hate this this school year is a light year more serious than the last one and i should score good grades on my IGs. idc abt L or the rest i hate most of them already. I'm eternally grateful for the people who chose to be my friends and i dont seek to increase their number. im ok w miya aya and katja (aihe too). yes theyre all online but if youre reading this youre also a loser ive never met a none loser on fucking rentry.
ill try to shower more and brush my teeth and stuff oworhebh it goes both ways i cant have good grades with shit mental health and discipline. this year i want to be known as headphones girl or sth bc i gen wont even try at making friends
some times i think about yu and kazutora similarities and i start sobbing bc. not only is he my boyfriend hes also my twin fuck whyre we so similar..
i will be a dentist
i sometimes want to make a brand new discord acc, cuz what if my irls find this one
only kazutora ships i like are maitora and bajitora the rest #sybau
lowk one of my worst memories is me getting into MJ because i heard my dad saying that he likes his music. like, im tlaking heavily. i was blasting that mj 24/7 then i finally told me that he liked a song or two and iw anted to kms i js wanted to be close my dad you couldnt js humor me or sth oh ymgod
8/27/25
everytime i forgot why i cry during s2 of tokyo revengers i get brutally reminded. what did i ever do to u dawg its just some clothes. youre litr hoarding the washing machine and. the 2nd i try to use it suddenly itsimportant? i feel sick i was so scared he was gonna hit me but he didnt but he acted like he will and he seemed vry angry too
today is possibly one of the top 10 days oat wtff. me and miya talked a lot we giggled we made hcs we made fun of doubles we made fun of innocent civilians we made theories WE YAPPED OK. I LOBE MIYA
8/28/25
labubu matcha i love feminist literature ahh #otoya
im so funynbwah the fuck
me and miya kept giggling at this
lots of priv quotes.. omg im giggling
anyway yumirei bonten trio #REAL
8/30/25
school is tomorrow. news of trumps death are circling around. this will be a long year
ok my predictions are:
trump dies this year/first 3 months of 2026
vance becomes president and gets assassinated
relection but i think kamala bc the 2nd most votes gets it
im ngl eliana kalogeras is chopped
CHAT?? HWTA THE FUCK
9/5/25
9/6/25
@yukino_hi on twt. i see kazutora dn i love you, okay?
im still not over yukino_hi. what do you mean? what do ou mean by that? what the fuck my stomach js dropped i feel sick but i cant throw up i feel sick a good way this is a sign from kautoa hes trying to tell em sth its litr meant to be cuz. everything lines up perfectly nd it sounds like him anf anf adn. i also said some annoying stuff to miya (i think). i think i was abeing a bit annoing by tweaking out in her dms but yea. i feel lonely. the concept of having 2 or 3 friends to not feel this way but still doing so.. i think its something that came from within me, nobody can help me. if miya engeaged in the convo shed prolly be enabling me in some way because i poerifo idk what im saying i jsut want to harm myself
my love feels so pure right now and its about 4:07 pm,, the lights are closed, the bedroom windows light up the room and im sitting there alone. sometimes the door is wide open, sometimes it's closed. i have my headphones on right now and i dont know what to do. nobody loves him more than me.. i feel like letting his love consume me, i feel like i should leave everyone i once called a friend and just self isolate and dedicate my life to kazutora. my whole existence to him. oh my god. of course i wont do that i cant to that to miya and aya i lobe them and theyre very dear to em. im sorru im sorry im so sorry i mean it
it makes me wonder if he ever thinks of me that way, the intense feeling of dread and helplessness, feeling this way, it's not exclusive to me, right? it cant be. i think he's suffering from the same thing right now and wer're both feeling it together, and this is the purest form of love ever love is not about being there or whatever its about suffering together and being disgusting humans are performative they act all kind but ?? i think its the purest form of love to show your ugly side to your lover
9/7/25
@ school rn and its lowk embarassing. i js wanna say i wont switch urls anymore for this diary. next bday will be /shunichitoki, after it /yokohikasa.. #ha
9/925
breathe breathe oh my god what the fuck i js realized idk anything
9/10/25
I'm ngl school making me highkey miserable rn i should lock in. no bc?? i slept at 6 and woke up at 5 thenext day i cant mkae that shit up i had a confrontation w my dad yap ya yap he took my phone my sister gave a fake testimony and i cried so my dad was kinder to me this morning. phew. im sitting in bio class rn, but hes absent (thank god) so we're w miss asha, i lowk like ehr now. i took madeeha's kindle and started reading "The School of Good and Evil". I like it. I also like the name Dot, might go by it soon. umm sogatha are so mikannie (looks wise.)
my entrys have been awefully short lately (not even a line long!) so sorry for that. future yu im sorru my lifes js broing
i hope u think of me whenever aot is mentioned
yu is litr historia reiss + sasha braus
ts me
annie βΉοΈ
i dont identify w sua at all but.
ts was so yu idk
throwback when
yk who
https://youtu.be/yUbPUqf8KYE?si=yU2t7M-flUkaEpZ5
i love
9/11/25
today is 9/11. ba dum ts i remember saying this to yara and yara on this exact date 2 years ago that was the day i left the school too #omg
this nigga bro
9/12/25
look at yu.. i love yu yu so cute cutie
9/13/25
i love
?? charlie kirk's assassination footage was traumatizing? i think im js chronically online and desensitized to violence but
9/14/25
YUYU'S GETTING /KANOJO!! LETS GOO. all for the cheap price of /izana, im gonna keep it forever and ever and
im ngl i habe no motivation to study and stuff but. if i let it cram ill need to work in bulk for the next few days so ill lock in soon. ANYWAY i suck at math i got like. a 0/10 in the graded clss work thingy but who gaf im doing well in the current topic (probability), so ill js work on other stuff.
today i talkted to miyayan and i decided to make /akb48 my new directory.. yes.. 5th directory change im sorru. torigoya and gekikara are so. yumiya. i love yumiya and you should love yumiya too. fuck i js realized how much i love miya i cant do tjis anymore we're so close already.. i dont wanna speak too early but lowk my closest friend in the whole world i can trust her w anything.
but when it comes to being that type of weird me and fedya are locked in #freak.. younger me (4th - 8th) grade would be so proud because now im capable of making close friends!! like, actual friends yk. I'd say im a good juge of character i js usually ignore stuff willingly and thats not too good. but im getting pretty intolerant as i said before
i talked to laiba like, last thursday and she wants to hang out with me, its been so long i cant. i said okay lets go out, she wanted to invite L but i said no, so its js me and her. this thursday!! 4 days ago.. tjank you laiba. she'll gibe me her haruki murakami books! she gave me them last year, but i miss Men without Women it was so good. ill ask for a kindle for my bday im so jealous i need one. i cant physically read books online its too overstimulating, but i dont like reading irl books when im anxious so a kindle would be perfect
/kanojo.. wait for me, okau? gibe me a week. shit my bday is nowhere being close but i alr put so much shit here holy yap.
sorry if u got jumpscared by this but i dont censor anything here for my own comfort because i dont do this w the expectations that others will read it, even tho i know someone inevitably would, so sorry for that in advance. lately ive had a lot of thoughts of harming myself and stuff i want to ask kazutora to do like. a double session if it makes sense but idk if thats too far what if if ififfi what if he thinks its corny and js stops talking to mee
ANYWAY. i havent cut myself in 2 months now #clean #pleasebeproudofme. it's a good step, for me a t least. if i get my grades up i can finally say yu is mafuyu coded cuz im lowk her in everything but that.. well, idk if i can say that. in my head im a total retard but i dont think thats true when i genuinely think abtou it. I'm really good at history, biology, english, business studies. i need to lock in on chem math and phy but im alr doing well in physics so im in a grey spae there. ill js get a tutor. call me a nepo baby or a larper but yes my dad is rich and yes he'll do it. i hate that guy but i lobe him but i dont wanna talk abt this rn. why am i even talking abt this i grew up around ppl who had to take out loans to go to a private school and most of them tell you u cant struggle if youre well off like oirhuebh okay. i remmeber the trend were ppl filmed their houses or sth i cant remember and if ur house looked slighty better than avergae they treat u like ur taylor swift ok. waaa
miku pleasee im alr music pilled and depressed #ok. ill write more stuff later, i need to solve my biology worksheet, and some of my math one. then ill search for a tutor.
im oddly fond of sh art. i love self harm. lets self harm together. PIXIV I LOVE YOU!! i tagged the artist above and stuff. they draw asahinacest but i lowk dont care their art is so bhrvgweg. im ngl i WILL be gooning to mafuyu. NO NOT ASAHINACEST DONT CLIP THAT I JS DONF CARE ENOUGH. the self harm tag on pixiv is a feast yum
couldnt have said it better myself
9/15/25
look at what miyayan wrote me stop i lobe her so much
u look so silly rn u gmfu
/kanojo.. /kanojo.. did i mention that i share /jiraijoshi w me its been on her wl for soo long. when i get /kazutora ill gibe her that url. anyway, i wanna make /gravure and /kanojo my new mains okay? yay! /jiraijoshi and /nicosasha did their jobs well
i took 4~5 Adol pills in 4 hours and google told me thats an overdose wait for me to die in 24 hours. ALL THAT TO BE ASBETN TOMORROW. i dont wanna be at school during kztrs bday ill gen feel suicidal ill cut myself during the school day ill do whatever. to syau home, okau?? DONT PLAY WITH ME IM SO
m not gonna call u out by name bc u know who u are but miyayan keeps telling me youre checking this thing freuqently and youre not being very sneaky w it. are you not tired?
can miya come back from school alr yes call me a whiny btihc buT SIX HOURS. i wotnt to anyone tmr. nbut kazutora ofc no one else matters FUCK
baby boy. i wish more ppl drew him w scars NO EORITC GORE DOESNT COUNT PIXIV ENOGUGH
okay i hate being called a poser or a copycat or or or or but im ngl i had a convo w my dad over dinner and he was talking abt fb to his hb and to my mom and then he asked me 'do u still lke fb' (i had a big phase last year bc of bllk but thats different, phase, ya'ani PHASE. i wanted to be a tv reporter js to interview football players #whatever i remember my favs being virgil van dijk, arda guler, edgar davids and the netherlands football team #YEA. 2030 wold cup will be in saudi arabia (finally sth eventful in ts country bru) AND HE SAID HE'LL TAKE ME rojihuegibfdgryefibdfvwesdh yes. i still rememebr the nyemar edits from the qatar one w that one song bruh they were so peak. no fb isnt a primary interest for me its not even in my top 5, maybe 8th but i still like it from time to time. its a way for me to bond w my dad.. i remember my portugal and argentina jersesy iwojhebf gv I LOVE
i remmeber when i hated religion and lowk arda made me a bit proud w this pose wym we're both muslim likeekekek kenan yildis.. ΨΩ
Ψ― ΩΩΩ ΩΨ§ΩΨ΄ΩΨ±
cant wait to get jumped for ts
i can feel like liver failure from here why did i take 5 pills. its for kazutora so its worth it, yeah? yeah. i forgot to say but miyayan commed some yumiya art i lobe herr
i overdosed but maybe its not that deep. my mom told me she takes 8 pills a day, and shes okay. i should be okay too, ill be fine. i have to be
9/16/25
i lived
kazutoras bday is private and. i started celebrating it at 12 am jp time, okay? I'm not talking to anyone today. for one day you can all go to hell
its 17th in japan! hi!
today was crazyyy oh ymg od when i finally opened miyas dms
i spent my day w kazutora, i made a rentry here, i talked to miyayan amd she thinks im getting shaded, i ate
i think tomorrow i wont go to school either.. shivers
js redid /marseille, i hope its not too chuzz i got bored of it it felt too simialr to /kantomanji. ok my cooking diary is. /toramai i didnt wanna leabe it empty hats litr someones wl url it canf js be there.. i also dont want it to get reclaimed so thats that
rant but i hate performative people so bad god be making anybody π βοΈ no bruh this is not targeted but if u feel targeted then maybe u should reflect on urself? idk πΈ why was my mom bein so sweet to me in the morning but?? the second a physically and mentally sick person acts physically and mentally sick youre suddenly crashing out pls stop screaming. i can tolerate alot of ppl and can form close friendships w them, proshipers, shedtwt, nonchalant ppl, kazufuyu shippers, but i drawy the line at anyone who seems SLIGHTLY performative because how do u live w urself? youre either a walking blob of everyone u ever hated glued together because youre js that hateful that you want to be them. who are you trying to impress? at the end of the day when u go to bed you're not yourself, but just small pieces of everyone u ever hated and i hope you feel terrible for the rest of ur life for that. STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS PEOPLE!! you'll all die one day, do you hear that? YOU'LL DIE!! yesterday i thought i was on my death bed and i was thinking about my life, my love, and everything, i thought of my friends, my interests, the cooking i didnt get to do, miya, aya, everythingngng. what would YOU think? what ###### liked? do you even know why you like it? do you only like it because that person does? are you trying to out do them? okay this is pretty much targeted bc i know theyll read this bc they js keep stalking me and i hope this is enough to make them feel sick enough to lock in and move in its been a month π€·ββοΈ im ngl this started bc my mom pmo but that person pmo too so hi
OH YM GOD ALSO ANOTHER PERSON. this kazutora yume oh my god. youre so soulbound babe youre using cai i love. i liked jirai before u i liked gyaru before u i liked piecrings kazutora before u everything u liked i liked 3 years ago. whyre u suddenly into everything i like? you copy my layotu as well and i hope you die
yuyu's fav sh pieces for the day:
no this is not a daily thing idk why i said 'for the day' but!!
does it count as ero-gore if sh turns me on. like i gen start shaking oiqwjhbwe self harm cutting oneself KAZUTTOYA DO YOU SEE THIS!! when will our next session be. all are linked btw! amazing art
YES im objectifying kazutora call me yu the objectifier π₯Ή i put kazutora on display in a π°girl outfit in my living room so everybody that walks in sees her! i dream about her being tired and bloody and just laying in my arms and nuzzling to me like its the only thing she knows and i'll wlecome her with open arms and pamper her to death. toxic yuri toxic relationship toxic everything!! i love toxicity gibe me more toxic stuff. i love maimiya bc theyre toxic and so cute tg I LOVE. dni if u dont we wont get along
yu: i want to die
yu when she almost dies:
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
9/17/25
ur goat is NOT washed i managed to skip school for another day.. sudanese parents dont got shit on mee
the great meme depression is so real totya is not eben allat what are u lauging at nigga
stuff that no one likes more than ilse:
kazutora
agejogyaru
kubz scouts
xiaohongshu
laptops
hanemiya kun
miyayan
pixiv
black
sh
majisuka gakuen
gekikara
august the duck
busiswa
tomoe mami
miki sayaka
yoko hikasa
maririn (mariko shinoda)
akb48
akbingo
louaista
^ litr stuff ppl associate with me.. U DONF HAVE SHUT ONT ME
rena doing ANYTHING but locking in π₯Ή irs okau she gets a pass. no but?? i rememebr when i was watching s2 and i thought she got slimed and i lowk quit watching for a good weak before coming backaagin bc?? HOW DARE YOU TAKE AWAY MY GOAT WHO I PROJECT KAZUTORA INTO?? thats litr femmetora sybau.. oshima yuko and matsui rena? more like maitora.. i love maitora toramai and you should as well.. i donf rlly project myself into manjiro i js love him and kazutora tg theyre so
i love you so
yuyu's kamioshis bdaiscally
MARIRIRIRIRN SHES SO CUTE OH YMGOD. i love her.. her voice is so ??? ioeruhgbuh mariko one chance
riyan i know ur bitch ass owns /majisukagakuen I GET IT ENOUGH.. shivers.. ragebait of this level doesnt get to me i have a sudanese mom
no nigga u dont like 2pac more than yu
this is offocial btbw
this is what i mean when i say ill put femmetora in π°girl outfits.. too cute.. i love π°girls so much im not even gonna deny that like?? YESYESYES!! i like thinking that jirai femmetora's animal would be a π° if it makes sense.. i lobe.. tenshi kaiwai π°
ill rant a bit but no! femmetora would not have a rack! she's flat!! like, flat. okay sorru for this description but i visualize small mounds but?? no it wont spill out π₯ΉβοΈ i hate anyone who thinks "fem = boobs" no.. like even if ur a gonner, im a goonette too and i lobe small boobs.. small boobs that are pocket sized are so cute like yess i love.. am i js mentally ill or are rlly skinny ppl so hot and cute i js want to hold (TARGETED ILMGF) i js realized im lowk a terrible person cuz id prolly be an enabler.. never put me in a room alone w femmetora.. um i think this rant is another case of a mentally ill person acting mentally ill cuz this lowk didnt harm anyone irl so if youre pressed or angry at this then thats your problem YES i know tjis isnt for everybody but.. u get the point
Ω ΩΨ³Ω Ψ³ΩΨ―Ψ§ΩΩ ΩΨ§Ψ΅ΩΩ Ω Ω Ψ§ΩΩΨΆΨ§Ψ±Ω
i gave fedya /toyoko!! i love them.. i lied, being friends w me DOES affect ur likely hood of getting a url i fw them so much
9/18/25
BRUHH i ended up playing ludo w 3rd graders bc i was supposed to pick a class activity r whatevevr anway they like me and one of them started doing pushups this is fucking me up
i need to WATCH k or jdrama yuri i cant
?? THEYRE GEN YURI KAZUYUW AHR THE FUCK. THE PIXIE CUT THE HAIR EVEYRTHGING who are thy. girls love is gen so peak.. kitakawa, kira x her gf, KAUZYU, MAIMIYA, leximi sometimes.. evything tis is ojrfubh. yuri!! feed me yuri
CHAT IM MOVING?? for the? 3rd time? honestly im not even mad i need a new start WHATEVR. i was such a sasha braus in in this city i need to lock in and be nonchalant and tuff... shivers.. okau waht character do i base my personality on. izana kurokawa.. AME... rindou..mafuyu.. yuki.. idk i js dont wanna be outgoing again it always fucks me up
my face when my dad sat me down and my siblings to tell us we're moving ->
IM HAPPY U DONT EVEN KNOW I CAN FINALLY GET AWAY FROM THESE PPL OH YMGOD. L is becoming the new Yara. she was suddenyl nice to me when she found out why i was hospitalized #ok.. keep that energy up all the time then? shh.. yuyu.. survive 2 more months.. (or less?), then youll escape.. FRESH START! does god love me? he gave me 2 chances for a fresh start at life. does he?
how yu will be moving for the enxt 2 months (I HATE THIS FUCKASS SCHOOL). also why do i refer to myself in first person.. i donf rlly mind its js another subconcious thing i do i like noticing stuff abt myself
lalalal filling space so the stuff below look aestheit I LVOE IJUEHFBIDFR KAUZOTORA I LVOE THAT BOY I NEED EVERY BODY TO SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UUPUPUPUP AHAHEFHIUERFBRHUENJFSRVUGYEHIRLGBc
i wanna archive this bc yumiya is so funny
yall remember when stewie disgused himself as a yumiya anti but then he ran into one and he had to pretend he was a mirror reflection π
ouu stop this i lobe miya.. today me and her made sm lore its crazy liek ?? im not even gonna mention it here because nobody else deserves to know. its just elite knowledge that only me and her know, oaku??
anyway maitora ship yumiya and they amth yumiya pfps and yumiya do the same..
ANYWAY me and miya did this for rikka
she cute
things I want done by my bday:
- good enough to do comms
- know jp enough to read manga
- kazutora plushies!!!
- make actual friends who gaf
- commission artists
- out do Mato
- have my own rentry resource thingy
- take to M about school + get a schedule
- reward system thingy
- get an A in physics
- get an A in chem
- grow my nails out
- mimic the tr art style
-more to be added-