/tcgia/ Decks: Patch 13 Archive

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Decks: Card Pack 13 Patch

Hostage Situation Aggro

 https://files.catbox.moe/92i38r.mp3 : (not) liszt

Deck Archetype: Aggroest.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Kibawoo - Knight of Endings.
How to play? A refined transcendental étude on high-grade astrocytomas of screams and silences, orchestrated for the virtuoso Scaramouche (not the twink kind) of mackarel slapping. First bar: pretend to be mostly harmless by dropping some cute chubby sleeping-plushies (Sleeping Airi Dog, Remi Plush) dancing on rainbows, setting the stage for a classic French overture (not the escargot kind). For your second act, either have your allegro bito (TL note: "allegro" means "gay") launch into a rapid crescendo – in the hope of a fuga, or drop the bass with a classic Fish Launcher into Hostage legato, going from zero to hero (FGO) Hercules-style. The symphony of destruction doesn’t need complicated movements: buff your ensemble, then swing face fortissimo. Naturally, Neko Chibi Wemi is there for the damage(d) coda. If everything andante well, this chromatic (mostly pink, white and light-blue) toccata will transform your opponent into the corpse bride you’ve always dreamed of duetting con amore with by Turn 5; if not, you'll be strapped to a minimoo and dragged naked around Offkai's perimeter until the game is done as punishment for your attempted affair, à la Byron's Mazeppa.
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Ninja Breaker (Taimanin) Aggro

So damn aggro: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro. Very Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Oshi? No need for them. Just go face.
How to play? If you watched Digimon as a lonely teen -or as a lonely adult under the crushing weight of Dizzy's tits' pressure- you already know it’s a short hop from coomer to vicious crackhead (fuck me, da gan). With this deck, a spiritual successor to Doggo Aggro, you can skip the first self-indulgent step entirely. In fact, you can pretty much skip everything, including actually playing the game. Bito Breaker is dormant serial killers' new favorite card, whose flexibility in the deck is completely lost to gentlemen hitting only above the choker. The device can more or less be safely dropped on the board at any time (Anomaly does exist tho), setting up devastating value spikes in later turns. And while Hime needed Ringodachis to keep her out of harm’s way, Lumitchi and Iori can naturally sing the Rasmus by heart, watching, waiting, in the shadows, for their time. Still, pumping Hime with buffs delivers the kind of plays capable of retroactively inhibit Mullerian duct regression in your opponent, transforming them into full-fledged /pcgia/ denizens: three Bito Breakers and three Himebitos onto a single Hime isn’t just unethical 18+ content – it’s 28 damages done dirt cheap. That said, if you don't want to wayfarer jump your way into the eunuch job class, you'd better mulligan well, smorc pharaoh. Likewise, trading is basically not an option, so you need to secure an early advantage, or hope that your opponent doesn't respect your taimanins. As such, you’d be wise to keep your blood flow focused away from your genitals, at least for the first few turns. One way or the other, you'll be done in 3 minutes, anyway.
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Breaking Bad Rie Combo

Fun & Interactive: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Satan.
How to play? A cursed hybrid between Hostage Aggro and Elusive Aggro, this list zeroes in on one-turn-KO (or close enough) combos revolving around Rie. The plan is simple: play Rie, buff her, immediately Ringodachi her, pass, buff her again, and send your opponent to the Shadow Realm. Essentially, it's Hime Ninja but better. I hate this. Everyone should hate this. Sure, staring at Hime’s overbuffed assets might be fun every now and then, but this deck is like playing Russian roulette against your split personalities – with the added malus that someone else is also having a terrible time. Compared to the other variants in this patch, the only noteworthy aspect is the inclusion of 3 copies of Harlots, a surprisingly practical tool for board control while you prepare your cancerous combo.
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Bump Limit Swarm

Triumphant Swarm: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Shiina if you want to run Where This Jelly Bloons.
How to play? Triggering Triumphant Pankophile's effect feels better than sex. Not that I would know what sex is like. Anyways, with the addition of Bito Breaker it's finally Triumphant Pankophile's time to shine. Make the board artificially smaller by only activating your Bito Breakers once and keeping them around, spam a bunch of sticky minions that generate even more minions and then trigger the bump limit. Very few decks can deal with a combination of tokens plus a 7/7 by turn 4 or 5, and if you drop Triumpanks back to back or even two at the same time turn 6 the situation will be incredibly grim for your opponent. After you drop your Triumpanks or if you're in a pinch you can activate your Bito Breakers and free up board space for Bard Lumi + Paper Shiina shenanigans. You'd think this deck loses hard to AoE but with so many sticky or plain uninteractible cards on the board that's not really the case most of the time. Your opponent usually won't be able to interrupt your plan unless they're running certain anomalous cards. But even if they can't interrupt it, that doesn't mean they can't prepare for it.
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"Concha Tu Madre" (?)

Mexican Tempo: list

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Hime, Tu Madre, Fat-bottomed bricks hurled at your window by a passerby who is definitely not a /tcgia/ player fed up with your bullshit.
How to play? The list favored by Oda Nobunaga and every wooden sword-wielding Shonen Jump protagonist. Remi Plush and Michi Cat are your sticky, handicapping weapons/conscript peasants, and Bito Breaker provides the SOVL/gunpowder (most likely hashish) to transform your unassuming 1/1s into something deadlier than a katana folded as meticulously as a spiny lobster origami, reminding everyone that Conan's Riddle of Steel might not be just a sexual innuendo. Regardless of your preferred theory of value, this combo almost always trades up, mostly because it can hardly trade down due to how cheap it is. Your second wave of infantry -Rie/Nurse Shiina’s Pafus, Elaine, and One Raccoon- sets up the preconditions to maximize the impact of Manko and Bard Lumi, who steps into the role of commanding general through the power of friendship, just like Kerrigan. the Wanderer helps you navigate through taunts and deal with threatening effects, while Buff Airi Dog offers both protection and buffs to your Bito-Broken damage dealers. Neko Chibi Wemi and Hime Cube are perfect for cinematic endings, where you defy all odds with a dramatic final click and "gg ez". And then there’s Lumi, fresh from her extended Death Becomes Her remake break (which occupied her from patch 4 to 12.5): her role is standing there menacingly as a yappy 5/5, costing 5, and being the 5th card needed to trigger the related oshi effect (making it abundantly clear that “5” is her Chaos God number of choice, though one might have expected it to be "9"). Lastly, a single Alice has been included as an apotropaic device. Facing this list might feel like roleplaying as Frieza, or reliving The Last Samurai, but with the help of Makinists, Healbers, wonderland kiddos, and flute players, you can definitely conquer this survival horror. Throwing bricks at the players is always an option too.
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Remilia Necrophilia Tempo

Remilia Necrophilia Tempo: list Remilia Necrophilia Yumi: list

Deck Archetype: Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Hime, Wemi, high priest Imhotep (left); Panko, Lumi Yuri.
How to play? Behold: a devious deck that wields the powers of darkness and light to triumph over the grim reaper, progressively filling the board with death – your board, with increasingly powerful undeads acting as a reminder that "bandage" and "bondage" are only one vowel apart; their board, with the kind of Nothing which no Aleister Crowley's novel title-drop could banish. To kick off the Danse Macabre, Bito Break your Sleeping Airi Dogs awake oppa-Kafka (Strafkolonie) style; then, with poetic symmetry, have Hime draw King Tuooooooooht’s dagger to summon broken bitos (Pafu). You have some AOE (Alice) and single target (Beeko) removal at your disposal, but you'll want to get your Halloween Panko, and some other raccoons (more than one, preferably), on the board ASAP. While in other lists Halloween Panko might be just as reliable as Brave's image search, with this deck you'll have no issues imprinting her with Halloween Remilia, setting up the stage for large scale, high impact (4 attack plus) live embalming. Alternatively, you can just summon your skimpily dressed child mummy directly, and use Bito Breaker and Stimulant Provider to make every new gen deadlier than the one before. Remember, though, that those cards aren’t just Remilia-boosters – making full use of their versatility will greatly improve your chances. Victory typically comes from preventing your opponent from fully clearing your zombie horde (once again, Bito Breaker and Sleeping Airi Dog help you with that), making The NeverEnding Story cute and funny again; however, as long as you've got something to swing face with (careful with those attack orders, Eugene), you are still in the game: the deck sports surprising burst damage potential, even without its core pieces. Finally, the 2 Embers are in there to throw off Lia-loliconcons and your own, personal FBI agent. The right-hand list trades a bit of speed and dog-day shenanigans for some comfy value engines (Beehive, Squibby Queen, Elaine), Nile river flooding style. Bard Lumi slots perfectly into this new architecture, with Yuri&Lumi taking onto the role of the pyramidion.
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Wide Nasa Bees, Tall Sad Cats - Midrange

WNB, TSC: list More, Taller Cats: list

Deck Archetype: Zoo Mid-range.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Hime, Sad Bee forma de The Others chico con el fantasma de la hermana G-cup nee-nee (left); just Lumi (right).
How to play? Spam 1/1s (Remi Plush, Pafu, Michi Cat, Nasa Cats, Elaine, Paper Shiina, Hagneko), buff them (Sad Bee, Bard Lumi, Alpha Nasa Cat), multiply your cheerleaders (Paper Shiina), and defend them (Smug Wemi, Royal Knight). That’s the gist of it. Aside from that, Rie and Nurse Shiina thrive on buffs and help you get your Pafus on the board, while Hime Cube is perfect for closing games. The deck has minimal control tools, struggles when playing from behind overall (having basically no immediate interactive tools), and is particularly vulnerable to Yuri board wipes. However, you’ll find yourself in a position to rebuild quickly and continue trading until you seize full control of the battlefield more often than not. Given the limited number of cats in the deck, don’t expect Hagneko to come online quickly. Be patient when deploying your Sad Bees and Bard Lumis – extracting value from them is you wincon. The version on the right gives up on the Pafu package to for more cats; as such, it is strictly superior. Uruka is fine too.
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XIII Burn

Bad Luck delivery: list

Deck Archetype: Slow Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi, Ember, Train Heartnet, a Porcupine Tree – whatever that might be.
How to play? Not any different from any other burn deck in this rentry. Cutting to the chase, you really want Smug Wemis to deal with Bito Breaker decks, and Nikki to curb Halloween stuff and other flavors of cancer. God can basically win some match-ups on its own, so it's a nice addition in a list which is a bit slower than usual. Having abused my military-grade recommendation system integrating content-based and collaborative filtering, I know that burn-deck players will likely enjoy this one too. In short, if you see anyone playing this deck, eradicate them, for the greater good.
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Bean Debut

Bean: list

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Yuri, Beans, Crocs.
How to play? I'll tell you all the truth (but tell it slant). Ever since its release (Pack 6: it has been a while), Soldier Airi Bean has been the kind of passive, egotistical, self-flagellating card desperate to be picked without so much as lifting its fingerless hand or murmuring a haunting bedtime tune. And the one time it dropped the trench wife act? It ascended to infamy as the linchpin of the most abhorrent, soul-crushing combo deck to ever defile /tcgia/. A cursed existence, to put it bluntly – straight out of a grimdark fantasy penned by a repressed PhD in mathematics, burdened with a disabled child, holding secret-level clearance with both the US and UK governments, and despising crows for no apparent reason. Now, after a transorbital lobotomy (curing its premature ejaculation at the price of its license to kill... players), Soldier Airi Bean is back to deflower unsuspecting 2/3-drops with the aid of Bito Breaker (which can either buff it directly or trigger the effect with a +1 damage bonus). Again, more or less every card in the deck can pull the devil trigger: Paper Shiina can either DeLorean the opponent to The Third of May 1808 or take a memento of the victim; Yappy cards buff your Щелкунчик while allowing you to play the deck as a classic burn archetype, running two copies of Yuri and one Lumi & Yuri for good measure. Overall, this list shines at board control and steamrolls decks lacking effective hand removal. However, when the board is well-jannied, Soldier Airi Bean and Bito Breaker are left awkwardly waiting for a post, or to be pegged. Abuse of that if you are having issues with this deck.
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Basically-that-one-pic-in-which-Dizzy-breastfeeds-Yuri-but-Yuri-is-just-helping-Dizzy-live-out-her-DigiFarm-fantasies Control

DLC stranger: list

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy, an afk opponent.
How to play? Through the divine intervention of NordVPN -our lord, savior, master, suntiang-wearing-mandate-of-heaven-wielding hypostasis of financial support- we interrupt this re-broadcast of the BBC's documentary on /pcgia/'s wildlife to bring you the long-awaited sequel to super ego control, now enhanced to silence the entire repertoire of snow leopard vocalizations (with 2 Hostages, 2 Wanderers, 1 Lepr), including prusten – a sound made by members of the Felidae family, Lemoine Affair fanboys and menheras, if they don’t fucking hate your guts, which, is basically never. Silencing the Hyakki Yagyō of Christmas Pasts can help you keep it together until you’re ready to serve your opponent a festive dose of epididymal hypertension (Woe to you, o’er Earth and Sea), courtesy of Chef Dizzy or one of the aforementioned silences. Just remember: those very silences can be more useful targeting opponent's threats or even Anire, should she miraculously avoid getting zoroed the instant she lands on the board; so choose wisely whether to save one of your cubs from (Wuxi) finger holding, or let them join Panko Cat on maternity leave. Finally, Halloween Panko, Beehive, and Dizzymuku are in the mix to provide some extra unpleasant surprises for your opponent, all while trying to catch Dizzy’s attention with their hipster quirkiness. Don’t be afraid to experiment with other solutions.
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Jurassic Ramp

Jurassic Ramp: list

Deck Archetype: Ramp/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: depends.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly.
How to play? Tired of people vomiting cards on the board? Not me. I'm the one doing it. But if you are, this deck is for you. It absolutely obliterates decks that flood the board by running basically every AoE card. The Ham Cat combo seems to get better every patch due to its ability to deal with sticky and/or mid-sized boards. Maitake Dance and then start spamming AoE and play an Emberjho turn 5 or 6 and vore another one of their puny cards and further neuter the enemy board in the process. And then if they can't deal with your Emberjho you clone it and that's normally game over. The deck is anti-aggro but Kindlings allow it to also have a decent chance against midrange by allowing your AoE to also sweep larger cards along with the smaller ones. It doesn't have enough threats or inevitability to beat bigger or controlly decks, so you'll have to rely on unanswered early Emberjhos or dropping The Rippa + 2x Jelly Is You in a single turn to win.
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Lemon Stealing Control

Yoink: list Yellumuri: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Jelly, Yuri, Ember. That's a whole harem (both).
How to play? If you believe in metempsychosis, this deck is the reincarnation of Cross Ange. If you don’t, it’s a chaotic decoupage loosely stitched together around the theme of using your opponent's deck against them à la HS rogue. The adhesive holding it together? Time-tested classic card packages that have consistently proven their worth. And glue. Can't forget the glue. With not one but two copies of Lumi and a Jellumi, the core is undeniably slow 'n tardy. To compensate, the rest of the deck is designed to dictate a slow tempo for the game via an arsenal of soft and hard removals, alongside plenty of AoEs benefitting from yap. Ember, Healber, and Nikki provide a solid backbone, while the Yuri package offers the potential for massive board swings, with Yumi (Lumi + Yuri) doubling as a finisher by inducing Ga-Rei Zero PTSD. Thanks to the amount of late-game yap, Alice and Gumi remain relevant well into the match; meanwhile, Jelly is You adds another layer of thievery, synergizing nicely with Kindling + Ember or Nikki. As a deck centered on stealing, your strategy will often depend on what your opponent is playing. This demands a level of flexibility akin to catching airborne sushi mid-fall with your toes and feeding it straight into your partner’s agape mouth while sporting a full Ramlethal Valentine cosplay. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Anyway. In general, the most efficient way to play this deck is to be so high on yap that you directly contribute to Kessler syndrome. The list on the right sacrifices some flavor for win ratio.
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Big Yap Control

Big Lemon: list

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Erina, Jelly, Lumi, Yuri.
How to play? A fusion of the deck literally above this one and Big Girls Control. One of its main strengths is being able to play Tenmacho liberally and transitioning into FUCKMODE without worrying too much about fatigue (or making The Rippa unplayable) since you have Lumi and Yumi to add a surprisingly significant couple of cards to your deck. As is the norm with Yap-centric decks, your opponent will have a bad time the moment you manage to stick a yapper on the board (which isn't very hard considering how FAT Lumi is for how early she comes down, and how Jellumi and Yumi will usually swing the board in your favor the turn they're played). With Yap active, the deck has a surprising amount of burst (especially if you're a filthy purple power picker) and an honestly hilarious amount of healing after playing Koufukuron that ensures that if your cards aren't immediately removed, they'll probably be back to full HP at the end of your turn.
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Bloons Mill

Bloons Mill: list

Deck Archetype: Mill/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, bees & monkeys and yet no jello.
How to play? The Grendel-like, nerd progeny of patch 12.5's most successful control and mill decks, respectively – an ungodly chimera of monkeys, bees and hair removal. There’s really not much to say about this list that hasn’t already been said about its predecessors. You have every kind of control tool at your disposal, so use them wisely and avoid getting baited. If you prison-lock yourself with bees (Where this Jelly Bloons), you are a fool. Baka, Baka. it is also worth remembering that bees aren’t as good as comedic reliefs when it comes to tanking friendly fire. However, they are just as adept at dying for your sins – and significantly better at handling certain types of wide, -def aggros. Again, if you’re into this kind of passive-aggressive control gameplay, it’s safe to assume you find conceptual priming more intimate than sex, and your favorite sport is cackling at your watch as it ticks down the number of cards in your opponent’s deck. As such, your only hope of reproducing involves being raped by an exasperated aggro player while you’re lost in masturbatory musings about the solitude of prime numbers, which might be taken as you implying that your sad self and your putative love interest are abstract entities or something along those lines.
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Exodia Rush

Exodia Rush: list

Deck Archetype: Combo/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: Usually 2 armor, 2 dmg against armor power.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi, Ember, Panko, Rie, Shiina.
How to play? An extreme version of Macho Exodia Combo that aims to drop stealthed Exodia on the board as soon as possible. You want to hard mulligan for a Ringodachi and Tenmacho. The moment you've drawn a Ringodachi you play Tenmacho to discard basically everything in your deck that isn't an Exodia piece or your finisher, Hime Cube, putting your opponent on a 5 turn (or lower) clock. This deck does very well against afk opponents and has a terrible time against any sort of pressure. As a side note by having all 5 Exodia oshis you can play it with only 4 pieces in hand if you're about to lose, had 1 piece milled or somehow still have Bread in your hand.
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Archived 05/17/26 [yeah, it's redundant. I just like useless fields]

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Pub: 17 May 2026 12:13 UTC

Edit: 17 May 2026 12:15 UTC

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