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Human Conquerer Garu

Room 1

Hahh... who knew this world had so many things I still know nothing about.
(... I don't like the sound of that... Just keep walking...)
Hahh -- Ahh --
Uh, Karu...
Human, you must be curious what's on my mind, right? Alright, I'll tell you!
I didn't ask...
The expression: the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... What does it mean? Gotta stab him through the stomach?
Gross, no! It means...
Tell me, tell me!
If you can make a meal good enough to enslave someone's stomach, you might just be able to get their love too... uh... well, something like that....
Enslave...
But that doesn't mean that it'll always work. If all it took to make someone fall in love with you was cooking a good meal for them, what a cruel world it would be for all the people with shitty cooking skills...
... Karu? Yo, Karu?
Grarrr... enslave, enslave...! Human, you're pretty useful!
... Uh... thanks, I guess...
And there he goes... Why does he keep looking back and smiling?
I've got a bad feeling about this...
Human, I have an official announcement -- I'm going to enslave you with my cooking. You'll be the very first slave on my path to conquering the human race!
Enslaving me with your cooking means...?
I'm gonna cook for you, of course!
So you told the chef not to make lunch for me today?
Exactly! If you got enslaved by someone else first, my whole plan would be ruined!
Feeling scared? Terrified? Grarrrrr...
(Nope, just hungry...)
You better get started then. If you begin now, you should just about make it in time for afternoon tea.
Ah? But I still haven't finished explaining -- S-Stop! Put that bread down! I won't let you ruin the plan I spent all day and night making!
I-I-I'm about to get started... C-Cocky human, you won't be so cocky soon!?
I'm a genius. I'm not just gonna make any regular human food, you just wait and see --
Ah, this bread smells so good.
Gahhh... Damn human, chop, chop, chop! Stupid human, slice, slice, slice...!
(Is he chopping like crazy out of excitement or is he just always like this? Maybe I should help him out a little... I don't wanna end up with severe food poisoning...)
... Wow, I never knew you were so skilled at chopping vegetables.
Grarrr, finally seeing how amazing I am, right? I can even chop like this...!

Karu throws a slab of raw beef up into the air and makes a majestic spin with the chopping knife in his hand.

This is a super awesome expert technique for perfectly sliced meat, gwahaha...
Splat.
......
......
... It fell on the floor.
Ah, well, no need to be picky, grarrr, yeah, no need to worry...
(So he picks it up, washes it a little and then starts chopping it up as if nothing happened...)
Chop this, chop that, mix in a little of that... Heh, some of this sour fruit. These leaves seem tasty. Ooooohhh, this smells super, super, super good.
sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff... If it smells good, it tastes good, that's what I always say. Come here and have a taste, human.
Okay, let me see... Vegetables chopped into oblivion, some kind of beef sludge, a fruit containing just about every color imaginable, and on top... chili sauce mixed with syrup?
It actually smells pretty good. Have you had a taste?
Why would I? So I could enslave myself? No, no, that would be super weird.
(His logic is sound, I guess... Well, there's no backing out now... At least it really does smell good.)
Here I go, ahh... munch munch... mmhh... mmhhhh...?
H-How is it? Is your stomach feeling enslaved yet?
Well, in a way...
!! Victory...!?
(Ughhh, I suppose you could say my stomach is enslaved, or more like it's about to explode. Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, cold, hot... Just what the hell am I putting in my body?!)
(Maybe you really could use this "food" to enslave someone...)
Oh... I don't feel so good -- I need to find Aster... I need medicine...!!
Ahh, hey!
Wow... he ran away holding his stomach...
Could it be... no... it must be! This is the ultimate dish for enslaving humans! Conquering humanity is now totally within the grasp of the great Karu! Gwahaha...

Room 2

Eiden spent the following three days in bed, consuming nothing but cucumber soup for the next week in order to let his gut recover. Karu remained at his bedside, displaying an unusual mixture of pride and worry at these latest developments...

munch munch... This is so tasty munch munch... This too...
Erm... Garu...
Master, Master, you wanna taste? These pink radishes are so sweet and crunchy. So good!
N-No thanks... I thought you wanted to cook something?
(He said he was going to peel them, but as soon as he picked them up he started gnawing on them like a madman... Just look at that goofy smile on his face... I better stop him or there'll be no ingredients left to make dinner.)
......!
... I was going to give Master a real feast... Oops...
N-No need for a feast! We can make do with what's left...
Anyway... it's the thought that counts. I'm excited to see what you'll make for me.
... Yeah! I wanna enslave Master just like Karu did. I'll make a mega nutritional soup to give Master a power boost.
(Just like Karu... Eugh, my stomach screams in pure terror every time I think about his cooking...)
(Huh? But Garu on the other hand...)

Garu swallows down the last of the pink radishes and licks up the juices around his mouth with a look of great satisfaction. He then starts grabbing all kinds of ingredients and places them on the chopping board. His chopping skills might not be expert-level, but it's clear he's experienced at cooking.

Moo moo fruit, blue spinach, all kinds of different nuts and... uh, a lot of stuff I've never seen before in my life... It looks like you're making some kind of extra healthy vegetable soup. Must be pretty tasty, huh...?
Does this dish have a name?
... Yeah! "Vibrant Vegetable Vitality"! My grandpa said it was one of his special inventions. If I ever met a really awesome Master, I could make this soup for him all the time.
A real family recipe... I'm getting more and more excited. My stomach is even starting to rumble...
Time to put the vegetables in the pot? How long do they have to cook for?
About... four hours?
(... Uhh... I guess we're having a midnight snack instead of dinner tonight...)
sniff sniff... slurp... That's the stuff!
H-How's it taste?
Just like gramps used to make it, delicious.
Have a taste, Master.
Ah, it smells so rich, full of intense flavors... slurp...
slurp... slurp... Huh? The flavor's even stronger than I expected. Whoa, this mixture of different vegetables is definitely pretty weird... but it's also addictive at the same time...
Any good, Master?
... Yeah, my stomach feels totally normal so far...
Phew... awesome...
Master, Master, another bowl?
Yes please.
No need to be polite, Master. I'm already super happy that you're enjoying my soup!
Ah, the second bowl. Thanks... slurp slurp...
Hahh -- Vegetable soup really is best when it's nice and hot, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
So... has the soup enslaved your stomach? Does Master like it?
Of course! I've already had two bowls. My body feels full of energy, you really weren't kidding when you said it was nutritional.
I want to make sure Master has a super healthy body, so I added loads of stuff that's great for humans.
Gramps said it's perfect for preventing colds. If you drink it during winter, you'll be all warmed up in no time...
Sounds awesome. But is taking in all this nutrition at once a little too... hahh...
And, and, and, the bones in the soup can help you get stronger and even grow taller -- I ended up drinking it too late, Gramps said I'd already grown as tall I was ever gonna get...
And this powder is full of seafood extract. It'll give you a huge boost of energy whenever you get tired! You'll be able to run for days without getting out of breath!
(... Huh? These ingredients, they... sound a little weird... and since a moment ago... my body's been getting really hot...)
They're all super good for human bodies. Especially Master's body, gotta take care of yourself y'know --
Wait... wait a minute... I feel like... my body's on fire...
(So dizzy... I'm sweating so much... my face... and down below... all so hot... my essence is going crazy...)
Master! Why's your face so red?
pant pant pant... Ughh... my nose... feels wet...
Gahh, blood! Master, you're having a nosebleed!
I need to... go lie... down... eughhh...
Master, Master, wake up! Don't die! Don't leave me--!
(Ah... sounds like... Garu... is getting... further and further... away...)
(I guess in the end... Karu and Garu... aren't so different... after all...)

Eiden spent the following three days in bed, consuming nothing but cucumber soup for the next week in order to get over his fever. Garu remained at his bedside, displaying a pitiful mixture of guilt and worry at these latest developments...

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Pub: 26 Sep 2022 18:21 UTC

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